After writing last night’s blog about Nate’s crisis of faith, this morning I dug out my old prayer journal from those same dates in mid-January, 2005, to see what other details might surface about that turbulent time. In the process, right there in the basement, I was the recipient of a water-in-the-face moment from God.
One of my prayers written when Nate was away on his three day “retreat” leaped off the page at me. I’d been praying for a day when his doubts or anxieties would leave him, freeing him up to follow the Lord with abandon, “his heart, soul, mind and strength.”
I wrote, “Draw him powerfully to you, Lord. Make it all sensible to him. If there are any misunderstandings, apply this verse to them: ‘If any man be in Christ, he is a new creation; old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.’ (2 Corinthians 5:17)
Continuing, I prayed, “In an instant make all things new for Nate. Clear his head of his earthly woes. Bring him to look at you full-face and to see who you really are. Please release him from the bondage of earthly pressures, 100%.”
My water-in-the-face was realizing how specifically God has answered every request:
- Nate is a new creation.
- Old things have passed away.
- All things have become new
- It all happened in one instant.
- His head has been cleared of earthly woes.
- He is looking at Jesus full-face.
- He sees Jesus Christ for who he really is.
- He’s been released from earthly pressures 100%.
DONE!
I was especially impacted today when I realized I’d asked for Nate to see Jesus full-face. In my prayer I meant for this to happen figuratively, which is the only way it can happen here on earth. Amazingly, God answered that prayer beyond my expectation by doing it literally. And it all happened in an instant on November 3, 2009. No more looking through a glass darkly. Everything is clear.
I wrote out ten pages of prayer over Nate on that weekend he was away, longing to see him soar in what was an increasingly cluttered relationship with the Lord. The cares of this world can clog a person’s spiritual outlook (Mark 4:19), and Nate’s many pressures seemed to be doing that. Toward the end of those prayer pages I wrote, “If things have to get worse before they get better… please show yourself, Lord, in that process.”
Things certainly worsened in terms of back pain and cancer but also with increased strain in work related issues. But God showed us repeatedly he was in the process every step of the way. Today, though, Nate is a “new creation” with a clear, uncluttered perspective. If we could have 30 seconds with him, he’d grin ear-to-ear with literally not a care in that world and say, “It was all worth it!”
So here the rest of us are, human beings doing the best we can to pace through life with our feet on the earth and our eyes on Jesus (figuratively), slogging through some tough stuff but trying not to get weighed down by the worries of this world. We wonder what’s just around the bend but recognize that at the end of all our tomorrows, today’s concerns will be swept away like so much debris on a floor. In their place will be a life so happy-go-lucky, we’ll all join with Nate in saying, “It was all worth it!” But wouldn’t it be spectacular if we could actually say that … today?
“Be careful, or your hearts will be weighed down with… the anxieties of life.” (Luke 21:34a)
Thanks for writing so honestly about Papa, his faith, and your prayers for him. I love you.
Amen, Linni, Margaret, you are blessing us all. And added people that you have never met and may never meet here. Keep it up! luv
Good Lord’s Day to you, Margaret. I hope He gives you such good meditations all day as I know Sunday’s are particularly grievous. Only the Good Shepherd could be leading you thus, and using His staff to point to something and say come over here and take a look at this. Amen and amen to Linni and Beth’s comments.
The picture you chose for your blog today is about as good an earthly picture as one gets if they were trying to see what is on the faces of those in heaven. As the song goes “If you could see me now, I’m walking streets of gold. If you could see me now, I’m standing strong and whole. If you could see me now, you’d know I’ve seen His face. If you could see me now, you’d know the pain’s erased. You wouldn’t want me to ever leave this place, if you could only see me now.”
You referenced 1 Corinthians 13:12, that now we “see in a mirror dimly” (literally in a riddle). Try as we do to turn our eyes upon Jesus here, because we are earth-bound, what we see is often like the fun mirrors at a carnival- distorted, overblown in one place, under blown in another. It goes on to say that we only “know in part” here- we still are confined to think like earthly people even as our mind gets renewed by His heavenly Word. But you rightly calibrated that in an instant the rest of that verse was fulfilled for Nate- now he sees “face to face” and now he “fully knows.”
Your writing today is outlined in joy. As you press on to find His purpose in this, He is rewarding you with taking a few ripples out of that riddle filled mirror, and drawing back the curtain to increase the part you can know here.
What good meditations you gave us to set our minds on things above, not on the things that are on earth. Colossians 3:2
“Lord, it is a discipline to set our minds thus, when care and worry and sorrow make us slack for the task. Train us all up to hide Your Word in our hearts, and to find in it the reserves we need for the troubles of life.”
Love,
Terry