Category Archives: Adult Children

The Way to a Wedding

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At my house we’re putting the finishing touches on plans for a wedding that will take place this August, when Louisa marries Teddy – our third family wedding in 12 months.

Nelson and Ann Sophie, wedding dayNelson married Ann Sophie last August in Hawaii (right), and Birgitta married Spencer last November in Iowa (below), which adds up to three.

If I count my brother’s son Charlie and his bride Larissa (married in May), my nephew Karl and his Cecilia (also in May), and Tom’s son Ben with his Amy (this July), the family wedding count rises to six – one every other month.

 

Iowa Bettis family.Weddings can be expensive, and it’s a pleasure to watch these “kids” make economical wedding decisions. But there’s one family wedding that takes the cake in the budgeting department.

Our daughter Linnea met Adam (below) when both were serving in Youth With A Mission. Love blossomed, and he presented her with a ring on a snowy winter afternoon in Montana, in 2003.

 

 

Linnea aand AdamBoth were students there at an intensive YWAM Bible school when Linnea called us to share their big news. We were thrilled, already loving Adam, but we wondered how in the world we’d ever pay for a wedding.

Our family was in the midst of a rapid financial downturn due to some governmental tax law changes that destroyed Nate’s once-thriving business. By then we were struggling to pay our own bills, much less those of a wedding.

On the phone that night when Linnea asked how much we had in our “wedding account,” Nate looked at me and held up his finger and thumb in the sign of a zero.

We told Linnea the truth, that there was no wedding account, and when the conversation ended, both she and I were in tears. I pictured Adam standing with his arm around her, whispering comfort into her misery… and I felt awful.

Our daughter was suffering, too, and we longed to do something about it. She closed that conversation with, “Can we talk about this again tomorrow?”

Wedding aisleAs soon as we hung up, we began asking God to rescue us. Almost right away he reminded us of a song that says, “God will make a way, when there seems to be no way.” In this case, there really was no way. Though we wanted to believe he could and maybe even would make a way, we sure couldn’t imagine how. But if Linnea was going to have a wedding, it would have to be his doing.

“The Lord’s unfailing love surrounds the one who trusts in him.” (Psalm 32:10)

(…to be continued)

Newlywed Love (#121)

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November 25-26, 1970 – Thanksgiving Eve and Day

Nate and I finally figured out where we would sleep my parents, brother, and three aunties on the night before Thanksgiving. Agnes and Ruth would go in our bedroom, having hoped for a closed door. Helen would be comfortable on the living room couch.

TommyMom and Dad would cuddle up on the pull-down Murphy bed, and Tom would have the dining room floor.

Nate and I would be on the living room floor in front of the fireplace – a sleeping spot not unfamiliar to us. And the whole night promised to be unique!

After our cake and coffee at about 10:00 PM Wednesday evening, we took turns in the bathroom and then said our good-nights. Mom was so into the adventure of it all she couldn’t settle down, cracking jokes about her sleeping spot with Dad in the swoopy Murphy bed.

“Don’t look at what’s going on in this bed,” she said. “It’s x-rated.” Of course she was joking, and I could hear Dad trying to shush her so he could drift off to sleep.

Dad carvesSomehow we made it through the night and a nourishing scrambled egg breakfast before Mary, Bervin, little Luke, and doggie Russell arrived. Then Mom lent me her cooking expertise, and when everything was finally ready, Dad did the carving… on the sink drain board. Despite having prepared the meal in a kitchen with only 18 inches of counter-space, our late afternoon Thanksgiving feast was a success.

After washing all the dishes assembly-line style, we “youngsters” played games on the floor while the “oldsters” nodded off.

Aunt Agnes snoozesDad snoozes

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was peaceful… and perfect. And I was proud of Nate for setting aside his books completely throughout the day. They were on his mind, to be sure, pressing hard, but he never mentioned them.

Family photoMom wanted to take a family photo announcing their first grandchild in a Christmas card, so we assembled in front of the window. Our Danville friend Rick took the picture.

A family of five had begun to grow, and now we were eight. Mom wondered aloud how many might join the ranks in future years. “The more the merrier,” she said, meaning it with all her heart.

Around 10:00 PM our guests began getting their coats, which we’d known ahead of time had to happen. Even the Chicago group was committed back home the next morning.

Saying goodbyeNate and I stood at our apartment door waving them down the stairs, one group at a time, deeply thankful that the whole family had been together. Our time had been short — but memorable.

And with our parting words, we promised to host a Thanksgiving dinner for the whole family every year from that day forward – no matter how big we grew.

“Giving thanks is a sacrifice that truly honors me.” (Psalm 50:23)

Newlywed Love (#90)

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August 17-19, 1970

 

LynnMy friend Lynn’s bridesmaids and I were planning a bridal shower for her, and my Mom, the tireless entertainer, was delighted to host it at her house. Since we’d waited so long to get organized, invitations had to be made by phone. Nevertheless, we’d gotten an enthusiastic response — and planned to make it a surprise party!

We bridesmaids were putting together a “This is Your Life” presentation on cassette tape, and my part was doing the only thing that could be done from hundreds of miles away: writing the script. It was my favorite kind of job.

Meanwhile, Nate’s parents were on the way to our apartment to celebrate their firstborn’s birthday. I was nervous about making all the meals during their visit, since Lois was such an excellent cook. Although I’d spent time with Nate’s folks on multiple occasions, I still felt I needed to win their approval. My dear husband insisted they already approved, but I wasn’t so sure.

Nate’s brother Ken couldn’t come due to work conflicts, a disappointment to both of us. On the positive side, though, Ken had told us he’d been accepted at the U. of Illinois for the fall semester, so we’d be getting to see much more of him in the near future.

Happy birthdayThe birthday party for just the 4 of us was a quiet but meaningful celebration, and Nate ended up with 3 cakes – the one I made, the one Lois brought, and the one our downstairs neighbors (Fred and Alice) sent up.

This elderly couple had loaned us the saw to dismantle our first Christmas tree, and though we weren’t together often, we took time to enjoy them whenever any of us crossed paths. Nate and I were flattered by their thoughtful gesture. Sadly, neither was able to climb the steps to join our little party.

Nate opened his few gifts, and turning 25 ended up to be the magic number for phenomenal birthday presents… first the Fiat, and then, from Nate’s folks, the rest of our registered china. In 1969 the protocol was to register a china pattern that wedding guests would give plate-by-plate, bowl-by-bowl, cup-by-cup.

When we counted up after the wedding, we had a generous assortment of dishes but very few complete place settings.

Reading of their giftThis birthday gift, to both of us, would fill in the blanks – and give us 12 of everything: dinner plates, salad plates, bread plates, berry bowls, etc.

Nate read the card about their plan and then handed it to me. Both of us were flabbergasted… and elated! We had anticipated many years going by before being able to afford the rest of the set.

Our two days with Lois and Willard passed happily as we explored the local shopping mall together, took in a movie (The Sundance Kid), and gave rides in the Fiat.

Fiat rides.Neither of us was sure what Lois and Willard thought of our “tiny foreign car,” as they called it, but they didn’t criticize. Nate did say his mother gripped the dashboard with both hands the entire time they were out driving —  much like someone on a frightening roller coaster at an amusement park.

 

They departed after our second dinner together, and Nate immediately dug into his books while I went to work on Lynn’s shower. We were expecting over 30 guests (the very next day), and there was much to do.

“God says… giving thanks is a sacrifice that truly honors Me.” (Psalm 50:22)