Category Archives: Adult Children

Seeing Eye-to-Eye

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A week ago while I was visiting Linnea and her family of 6 in Florida, I marveled at how she got so much accomplished each day. Maybe that’s because she’s a goal-setter and a list-maker, but I think it’s more about knowing that her life as a wife and mother is a high calling.

I enjoyed watching Linni deal with 4 young children, home-schooling 2 and keeping careful track of the others. Somehow she manages to spend one-on-one time with each of them, each day.

Linni and kids.

Of greatest interest to me was her method of discipline, probably because I was never much good at that as a young mom. When Linnea was about to reprimand one of the kids, she’d always start the same way. Bending down to their level she’d say, “Skylar (or Micah or Autumn), look at me.”

The child might take a quick glance at Linnea’s face but then, inevitably, would look away, knowing that whatever was coming next wouldn’t be good. But Linni wouldn’t deliver her message before she’d gotten their full attention. “Look at my eyes,” she’d say again. “Here,” pointing to her eyes. “Look here.”

The child often took another quick peek but then repeatedly looked away until Linnea absolutely insisted. “Eyes,” she’d say. “Right here,” pointing to her own. When finally both pairs of eyes locked in, she’d “deliver the goods.”

God does the same thing with the rest of us. Though I can never physically look him in the eyes, I can always “see” what he’s trying to tell me through what Scripture says. But watching Skylar, Micah, and Autumn automatically look away from Linnea was a powerful object lesson for me.

How often do I do the same thing with the Lord, glancing left or right or even worse, right past him, pretending not to notice he wants me to pay attention? Of course trying to dodge the gaze of the Almighty is ridiculous, even more so than children trying to avoid their mother’s eyes.

The Lord goes to great lengths to connect one-on-one with us. And thankfully he perseveres, because he has important things to say. The only way to move forward in the Christian life is to listen to him and then heed his words.

Hebrews 12 offers a warning: “Be careful that you do not refuse to listen to the One who is speaking,” meaning Jesus. (v.25) Even if we know his message is going to be one of rebuke or correction, we can take comfort in knowing his discipline comes from a heart of love. (vv.5-6) So there’s never reason to fear receiving his focused attention.

As for Linnea’s children, one day they’ll thank her for taking the time and making the effort to always look them in the eyes.

“Let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus….” (Hebrews 12:1-2)

Seat 19B

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Though I’m not a frequent flyer, I do find myself on airplanes a handful of times each year. Always hoping for a nap, I prefer the window seat with a wall to lean on. Sleeping isn’t guaranteed, though, since most planes are over-sold, giving every passenger a seatmate. Anything can happen.

Last week, sitting on a 747 and eyeing the travelers coming down the aisle, I caught a young man smiling broadly at me. When he stopped at row 19, I knew I’d met my seatmate. “Hi!” he said, sticking his hand out to shake mine. “My name’s Hunter. What’s yours?”

WheatonI had no choice but to talk with him, though I wondered about my nap. But I quickly learned he was a sophomore at Wheaton, my alma mater, majoring in literature, my major. We had fun swapping Wheaton stories, favorite professors, and best books. Then he told me that after graduation he hoped to work in an inner-city with underprivileged kids, bringing practical help and the Gospel along with him.

Hunter and I chatted for 20 minutes, after which he buried his nose in a philosophy book, and I got my nap. My last thought before drifting away was how delightful it had been meeting this godly young student who wasn’t even 21 yet. He’d already committed to going wherever God would take him and felt strongly the two of them would be working with the poor.

Hunter radiated joy in the Lord. Though he had already worked in cities and was acquainted with the severity of problems, he wanted to bring hope and help anyway. Knowing he wouldn’t be able to solve every dilemma hadn’t diminished his enthusiasm because, as he said, his confidence was in God, not himself.

I’ve thought a great deal about Hunter’s words that day and about his bright, joyful delivery. His exuberance was contagious. Nothing discouraged him, not the pressure of academics or his youthfulness or even the gloomy news of global chaos. That’s because his confidence was in God alone.

We can volunteer in aid organizations and give money to Christian causes, but personal grounding in a tumultuous world can only come when our optimism is linked to the Lord. And if we believe he is who he says he is, we can smile as broadly as Hunter.

airplane seatsAs our plane made its way to the gate that day, Hunter re-opened our conversation. “Miss Margaret, may I pray for you?”

This conversation with God lasted till we had pulled into gate C3, till the seat belt sign had been turned off, till people were standing in the aisles, and till the plane doors had been opened. He requested God’s blessing on me, my family, my writing, my future, and my witness for Christ, claiming half a dozen Scripture passages in the process.

I was stunned and delighted by this gift — and challenged to always make sure my hope is in God alone.

“The fruit of the Spirit is…. joy.” (Galatians 5:22)

A Mentor’s Words

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Last time I shared the blessing of a mentor whose steady help came to me mostly through letters written the old-fashioned way, with pen and paper. As a result, I have a treasure-trove of mentor-wisdom from which I continue to draw.

What follows here is the answer to the question, how does a good mentor mentor? The statements below are pulled from much longer letters, but they serve as a sampling of tried and true wisdom funneled from God through my Aunt Joyce to the rest of us. Here’s some of what she wrote:

  • Aunt Joyce's letters, 2The Lord sandwiches blessings and joys between times of changing us, which get us ready to live with him for eternity. He wants every individual to become like him and is helping us with that.
  • The fruit of the Spirit is… peace. I thank God when I feel peace [during tough times], because then I know it can’t be from any source other than his Spirit.
  • Although God has put you in difficult circumstances, I’m praying your praise of him and thanksgiving to him will be renewed, even now, where you are.
  • God doesn’t promise to remove our grief or burdens, but he does promise to sustain us through them, even through the bewildering unknown.
  • God is especially watchful over old people and children, while he is teaching and growing the in-betweens.
  • I think financial burdens can be the utmost of tests. You could lose the home you’ve lovingly cared for and the beautiful gardens you’ve planted, and many other things difficult to surrender. You can weep, but be sure you do it after crawling under his soft, protective wings.
  • I know you’re spending significant time with the One who has all the answers to our questions and the power to execute them in his perfect way. He has all we need, but so often we don’t even ask.
  • You may remember that I have been through and experienced the value of lessons learned from God’s loving hands, but I didn’t always recognize it as his love at the time.
  • I’m learning the difference between knowing the Word and knowing the Author of it. Feel free to knock on his door!
  • When we do the praying, God will do the rest. Don’t ever doubt that.
  • We are helpless to change anyone else. Only God can. Our part is to love them and pray for them. Simultaneously we should be asking God what he’s trying to teach us in that process. And then we should listen.
  • When we’re learning lessons in life, it’s never easy and often seems endless, but it helps to remember the Lord is on our side, listening to even our weakest cry.
  • Prayer doesn’t necessarily change our struggles, and it certainly doesn’t change God, but it does change us, when we pray.
  • Thank you, Margee, for letting me share my heart and for the privilege of having a part in yours.

“The Teacher was considered wise, and [she] taught the people everything [she] knew. [She] sought to find just the right words to express truths clearly.” (Ecclesiastes 12:9-10)