Category Archives: Adult Children

In His Words, Conclusion

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Nate's letter to NelsonThe last two blogs have quoted from a letter written by Nate to Nelson in which he summarized his life, including successes and failures. The letter must have been difficult to write, as he was entrusting his grown son with confidential information he hadn’t previously shared with anyone.

My guess is that Nate was doing what all parents hope to do: passing along the valuable lessons he’d learned in the School of Hard Knocks. The letter still ministers to me, because he was willing to share such intimate detail about his failures and their consequences. We all know failure can be life’s footpath to success, but it isn’t easy to expose your heart to this depth of honesty.

Below is the conclusion to his 5 page letter as he tries to answer the question of what the Lord wants from him as a Christian man:

What does Jesus want me to devote my energies to?

Hating those who wronged me? Or seeking His guidance and working for Him and my family? As Christian men, we know the answer. In our “struggle against sin,” we take encouragement that the Lord disciplines those He loves. 

Now, when I practice law, I think of the heavenly reason why I do it. That is my “race.” Not my choice, but my “race.” There are missteps and down days, but the purpose is sure.  

Paul struggled with sin as all Christian men do. (Romans 7:7-25). Christ rescues us from sin. Service to others is paramount (1 Corinthians 16:15-18). We live as children of light (Ephesians 4:17-32) 

I share the details of my life with you so you can see the human difficulty of trying to live a Christ-centered life – we cannot do it alone. We must rely on Him every day. If we don’t, we all stray. We read His word and pray, or we lose to the world. 

Love, Papa

The pain of Nate’s struggle is evident in his words. Thankfully, he recognized the removal of his “fortunes” as God’s discipline after he had become too enamored with money. He also realized the Lord was disciplining him out of a heart of love.

I well remember the angst of those days of business failure and despair. Reading Nate’s letter, especially as he reveals his change of heart, brings encouragement to me today. It’s heartening to realize that through all the upheaval, Nate felt loved by God.

Maybe his words will lift another who is currently fighting a money battle, wondering where the Lord’s rescue might be. Although God did rescue Nate (on this earth), it had nothing to do with restoring the money he’d lost but everything to do with changing his heart.

“Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.” (Psalm 91:14)

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In His Words, Part 2 of 3

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The first portion of this letter, written by Nate to his firstborn son in 1996, was detailed in yesterday’s blog. He poured out his painful life journey, honestly admitting to an infatuation with money.
When he succeeded at making it, he wanted more. When he lost it all, he became angry. He continues his story here, letting Nelson in on some of the secrets he hadn’t yet shared with anybody:

MoneyI was unhappy when I had money, because I always wanted more. When I lost it, I wanted it back. I was unhappy and became bitter.

In the depths of my financial disaster, no financial rescue or restoration occurred. I was tormented. A family and household needed to be supported. Old habits of spending died slowly and painfully. I thought the tax change unjust, to impact real estate and not municipal bonds, insurance or other endeavors. Men I knew in those lines of work would have fared no better than I did if they’d been attacked. Why should they keep their money and I lose? 

And now, years later, the senator who was the architect of tax reform admitted in the press he was wrong, that tax reform went too far. They gave benefits, then took them away retroactively. The world is deceitful and evil. 

But the world cannot be our standard, our reliance. Hebrews 12:2: “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” 

???????????????????????????????In my travail, I came to a rededication to Christ – reading Scripture, praying, participating in an organized Bible study, focusing my thoughts and energies on “the race marked out for me.” 

What does Jesus want me to devote my energies to?  [Concluded tomorrow.]

“Whoever loves money never has enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with their income.” (Ecclesiastes 5:10)

 

In His Words

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While cleaning out my file cabinet recently, my eye caught the corner of a paper with Nate’s writing on it. Naturally I pulled it out to take a closer look.

Nate's letterIt was a copy of a letter he’d written to Nelson in 1996. The five page synopsis of his career is remarkably candid, touching on the business highs and lows of recent decades. Although Nate had never shared his personal financial data with his children or anyone else, on this occasion he laid everything out in full.

Nelson remembers receiving the original letter and being surprised at how much his father  shared. Nate wrote about a tortured period in his life, crediting an unbalanced love of money as the reason for his struggle.

Below are parts of his letter (with Nelson’s permission). I share it because of its unusual openness and because I know if Nate came back to town with the heavenly perspective he now has, he’d eagerly tell these things to whoever would listen.

Although I won’t share the parts he asked Nelson to “keep confidential,” here’s some of what he wrote:

*                       *                      *                       *                       *

Nelson,

The text I constantly think of when I consider the role of the Christian man in American society is Hebrews 12:1 – “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud if witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.”

Actually the entire 12th chapter of Hebrews is encouragement to live a godly, Christ-centered life in the world – a world of persecution, boredom, temptation, indifference, ridicule, ease, sloth and human needs. “Run the race marked out for us.”

In other words, God’s chosen path for us, not ours. We don’t always get our first choice in the things of this world – sometimes we think we would have chosen a different body, mind, era, parents, generally different circumstances. But Christ’s mission for Christian men is to live out in a godly way what He has selected for us. We are to do so in a way that honors Him. We are to live as an example of Christ to our families, churches and coworkers.

The man who knows Christ wants to live for Him, but as imperfect humans, we fall short. Sometimes we fail because of worldly success and at other times because of failure.

Going southIn my life I went through a period of intense striving for money and the recognition it brings in the U.S.A. [Here Nate detailed his finances and how well he’d been doing at earning.] Then my partner had a stroke. One year later, the Congress passed the Tax Reform Act of 1986. This law reduced the net revenue of my company by $1,000,000 a year, and by 1989 bankrupted me. [To be continued…]

In the blink of an eye wealth disappears, for it will sprout wings    and fly away like an eagle. (Proverbs 23:5)

Praising and Praying with Mary

Gratitude today for two things: they found a good vein for the infusion, and I can skip chemo next Monday in honor of our wedding week.