Category Archives: Adult Children

Asking God

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This or thatIn recent years many of us have learned to ask questions in a new way. It goes something like this: “Would you like such-and-such, or no?” We don’t simply say, “Would you like such-and-such?” We add “…or no” to force the questionee to come forth with a neat and tidy answer. Subconsciously we want them to commit to yes or no, because the in-betweens can get complicated.

I’m ashamed to say sometimes I do the same thing to God. “Lord, do you want me to do this certain thing, or no?” I want a clear-cut response, because I don’t do well with “maybe” or “wait a while” or “we’ll see.”

The other day I received an email from our oldest son, Nelson, who is currently making his way from Russia’s Siberia to our home in Michigan. In the email he described an important decision he needed to make and as always, was asking God what to do. To quote Nelson:

So my prayer was, “Is it this or is it that?” And the answer was, “Neither.”

And therein lies the trouble with giving God an “either-or” choice. Because none of us know what’s about to happen, the best we can do is guess at a couple of possibilities. Asking God to make it “this-or-that” is like asking a child to draw a rainbow with black and white crayons.

God’s answers to prayer come in all colors, and he won’t be boxed in by our desire for black-and-white answers. Maybe the best way to ask for his opinion is with open-ended questions:

  • What should I do about this dilemma, Lord?
  • How do you want me to view these unexpected circumstances?
  • Which of your promises should I cling to during this crisis?

Answers structured by God will always outshine those we put to him requesting “this-or-that.” Nelson’s comment about God answering him with “neither” turned out to be the beginning of an important conversation between the two of them that produced a deeper faith-walk in Nelson. Had God answered with one of the choices of his “this-or-that” prayer, the whole faith-strengthening conversation that was initiated with God’s “neither” would not have occurred.

Our questionsPraying open-ended-ly teaches us to separate from our own limited ideas and encourages us to risk trusting the One who has the best answers to all our question marks. This means we have to approach him without suggesting how he should solve our problems.

As part of that process, he might come back at us with a few questions of his own, questions that will direct us to his answers of our original questions.

Our God is the God of the unexpected. Or, to put it more positively, the God of surprises. And if we insist his answers be “this-or-that,” we may not get any answers at all.

“Enthusiasm without knowledge is no good; haste makes mistakes.” (Proverbs 19:2)

Precious Jewels

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When my sister and I were little girls, Mom often sang to us at bedtime before kneeling to pray. One of her songs was:

When He cometh, when He cometh
To make up His jewels,
All His jewels, precious jewels,
His loved and His own.

Like the stars of the morning,
His brightness adorning,
They shall shine in their beauty,
Bright gems for His crown.

BroachI loved the thought of precious jewels, having seen them (fake glass ones) on barrettes, broaches, and jewelry boxes. So one day I asked Mom what the song meant. What jewels?

“You!” she said. “The words are talking about Jesus gathering you and all the other children as precious jewels for his crown.”

It didn’t make much sense but sounded lovely. At a bare minimum it was a stepping stone of little-girl-faith. To be called “a jewel” or “a gem” meant I was precious to Jesus, high praise back then and still today.

To make the jewel idea visible, we think of jewelry given as gifts. Everybody appreciates that kind of thoughtfulness, even though most of us will never be given jeweled crowns. We have been given other things, though, bracelets, necklaces, rings.

Gift of EmeraldNate had been my gem supplier and took advantage of every opportunity to bless me with modest jeweled items. After his death, though, I didn’t expect anything more. Then came Emerald’s first birthday. After all her gifts had been opened, Birgitta handed me an emerald-colored gift bag and said, “Midge, this is for you.”

 

Birgitta's giftInside was a beautiful necklace with emerald-colored stones set on the branches of a silver tree.

Among other things, her accompanying note (written on green paper) said, “You love Emerald like she’s your own, and that means the world to me! I love you so much, and I’m so grateful for your love and support.” It was a gem-of-a-gift that caught me by surprise and made a big impact.

As I wear Birgitta’s beautiful necklace it challenges me to think about my own gift-giving. Though I can’t go out and buy jewels for everyone I know and love, God has given all of us a book full of gem-like gift ideas we can use. Here are 10 of them.

He suggests we give:

  • food to the hungry
  • good deeds to the needy
  • money to the church
  • grace for second chances
  • hours of servanthood
  • hope to those who have lost heart
  • clothes to the homeless
  • compassion to the wounded
  • encouragement to pastors
  • the gospel to those who haven’t heard

And if we work at giving these, just as Mom sang, we’ll all be gathered up as “bright gems for his crown.”

“You must each decide in your heart how much to give. And don’t give reluctantly or in response to pressure, for God loves a person who gives cheerfully.” (2 Corinthians 9:7)

A Proud Day

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The Disney cartoon “Dumbo” about a baby elephant is actually a story of mother-love. When Mrs. Jumbo receives a stork-delivered bundle, the elephant matrons admire little Jumbo Junior saying, “This is a proud, proud day!”

Mother-loveThe plot line goes downhill from there as they discover the little guy has massive, flag-like ears, which is when the older elephants nickname him Dumbo. But his mother continues in passionate love for her offspring, and every day is a proud, proud day for her. When Dumbo figures out how to use his oversized ears to fly, his mother is nearly bursting with pride.

Children bring big bundles of happiness to their parents, and when they accomplish something wonderful or make an excellent decision, we parents get a thrill just watching from the sidelines.

Taking an oathIt was a “proud, proud day” for me this week because of something my daughter Birgitta did. She was officially sworn in with 10 others in a courtroom ceremony, all of whom have been through 6 weeks of intensive training. Their preparation has been done through the local C.A.S.A. program, which stands for Court Appointed Special Advocate.

Beginning next week, these 11 volunteers will walk alongside one child in the foster care system, becoming a friend and a familiar face through the different stages of that youngster’s time away from his or her parents. This might mean visits to the home, testimony to a judge concerning the child’s welfare, interviews of relevant parties, courtroom observations, time spent paired with a social worker, and other moments when they’ll partner with “their” child.

None of it will be easy, because each “case” is a sad one, and some involve the physical suffering of children. Trying not to get overwhelmed with the enormity of the needs will be part of the challenge for each C.A.S.A. volunteer, and several of them dropped out of the program even before the training period was over.

The after-partyFamilies were invited to witness the swearing-in ceremony this week, after which a celebration was hosted by their teacher. And as I listened to two judges challenge the new Special Advocates and thank them for their willingness to serve, it was a proud, proud day.

Today Birgitta was assigned her first case. Of course she’s nervous, wanting badly to do a good job, despite never having done anything like this before. But Scripture says, “God blesses those who work for peace.” (Matthew 5:9) I admire her greatly in her willingness to step out and do something that will be very difficult. She doesn’t have to do it but simply wants to…. with a passion.

Birgitta and the judgeIt defies logic, and for that reason, I know it is God who has called her to “fly” into this task, and my prayer for her is:

“May the God of peace…. equip you with all you need for doing his will. May he produce in you,   through the power of Jesus Christ, every good thing that is pleasing to him.” (Hebrews 13:20)