Category Archives: Adult Children

It’s very simple.

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Nelson.Our son Nelson just arrived home from 5 months of travel through Cambodia, Laos, and Thailand, following God’s lead and listening to his instructions. I’ve been keeping up with him through his blog (www.NelsonNyman.com). His recent post was too good not to share with you, so below is the second half of it, slightly edited.

Nelson has always been candid about his life, even the “bad” parts, and the story he tells is evidence that God skillfully uses all of it, whenever we’re willing.

He wrote this on one of his last nights in Thailand while attending a global missions conference in Chiang Mai:

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I was sitting on the roof of the guesthouse taking a few minutes to process the day, when a man came out of his room and sat down next to me. He set down his pint of whiskey and initiated a conversation.

“Where are you from? Where have you been? Where are you going next? What are you doing in Thailand? Is [YWAM] a Christian organization? Are you a Christian?” The questions usually follow the same line until that point.

“Yes, I’m a Christian. Are you?”

A few people aren’t happy with this question, some are indifferent, and some say they’re Christians, too. This guy told me he thought it was great and that he was also a Christian.

“How is your relationship with God?” I asked. It’s interesting to hear how people answer that.

“Relationship?”

“Yea. Do you talk to God? Does he talk back? And what about Jesus?”

This guy had a gentle demeanor, and asked, “What does it mean to talk with God? How many requests can you ask for in your prayers? Is 2 too many?”

I told him how God reached out to me through the program of Alcoholics Anonymous and freed me of belligerent, out-of-control drinking nearly 7 years ago.

“Seven years?!” he said, looking shocked. “No drinking that whole time?”

“Yup.”

“Impossible.”

“Totally possible.”

Eventually, he told me booze was destroying his life, that he wanted to quit, and that he knew God had sent me to him. I told him there were AA meetings in Chiang Mai and that I’d take him to one, if he wanted. He agreed, took a huge tag off his bottle, stood up, and went back to his room.

I’d never been to an AA meeting in Chiang Mai but got online and sure enough, there were lots.

The next day, the guy wasn’t interested. Surprise, surprise.

Chiang Mai Alcoholics Anonymous Clubhouse

But then the thought hit me, “Why don’t you go? It sure couldn’t hurt.” So I did. And sure enough, there were all these alcoholics in an old-school, 1940‘s-style room, slamming coffee, reading from AA literature:

“Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism.”

After being reminded of that, I thought about it a lot. AA is a fellowship with a common vision. Christians are, too.

God reaches out to people any way he wants. He always meets us where we are, whether at an AA meeting, on a roof with a stranger, or attending an international Christian conference. In any and all places, he offers the solution to the problem of sin. And when he does, he wants all of us to reach out to others.

So it’s much simpler than I make it. Instead of asking what I can do for God, I should just remember what he’s already done for me, and simply give that away.

“…Freely you have received; freely give.” (Matthew 10:8)

 

 

Time to panic?

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Keep calm...Most of us are familiar with the poster, “KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON.” I first saw it in the home of Hans’ bride, Katy, when our family arrived in England for their wedding. It was 2007, and because of the kingly crown on the poster, I figured it was strictly British. The sentiment applied nicely as busy wedding preparations saw us sometimes becoming un-calm, though we did do well at carrying on.

Apparently that poster was created by the British government at the beginning of World War II. Officials wanted to be ready with inspiration, should mass air attacks occur in major cities. Although 800,000 posters were printed, few were circulated as the war intensified, mostly because authorities thought the message trivialized the gravity of the situation. After that, the posters all but disappeared.

Then in the year 2000, one of the originals was rediscovered in the bottom of a box of books. Today the slogan has grown into an international industry and is printed on everything from mugs and aprons to notebooks and food packaging.

Although the “keep calm” motto has been altered in all kinds of ways (Keep calm and drink wine, Keep spending and carry on shopping, etc.), the original idea is still a pretty good one. It’s even scriptural.

In Isaiah 7, the Almighty was speaking when he said, “Be careful, keep calm and don’t be afraid. Do not lose heart.” (v. 4) He was talking to a king in similar circumstances to World War II, telling him not to panic over what appeared to be certain defeat by a powerful army. God reassured him by saying, “Keep calm, because I’m controlling  things.”

But he didn’t just leave him hanging by telling him to stay calm without telling him how. He followed his instructions with letting the king know he’d have to do something, too: “If you do not stand firm in your faith, you will not stand at all.” (v. 9)

The British poster campaign was eventually considered a “misjudgment of the mood of the people.” But maybe that’s because they weren’t told how to stay calm. If mass air attacks in large cities were the order of the day, people couldn’t remain calm for long… unless of course God endowed them with the ability to do so.

He did that in the Isaiah passage and is willing to do it for us today. In Philippians we read, “God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.” (2:13) And it pleases him when we stay calm in a crisis, because it proves we’re trusting him for the outcome.

So, when circumstances tempt us to panic, we shouldn’t ask God for relief from the situation but for strength to stand firm in our faith all the way through. After that, keeping calm and carrying on should be no problem.

“You need not be afraid of sudden disaster or the destruction that comes upon the wicked, for the Lord is your security.” (Proverbs 3:25-26)

A Happy Ending

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It was back to the cemetery for our family today, a tradition of nearly 50 years. If we count our parents’ visits, it’s much longer than that.

Rosehill Cemetery

So, in this morning’s cold rain, 8 car-loads of relatives left Michigan and headed toward Chicago’s Rosehill Cemetery located at Bryn Mawr and Western Avenues. Though we have no formal program there each Memorial Day, the family historian (Mary) encourages people to prepare memories, even silly ones, about any of those buried in the family plot.

Today our brother Tom started, having brought a book detailing the history of this interesting cemetery, including its Civil War veterans. He read aloud, describing the notables buried nearby, and we were reminded of the care some take to leave detailed burial instructions for their heirs. All of us hope to be remembered well, and in an effort to shape the thinking of those still living, Rosehill burial monuments range from fascinating to bizarre.

Explaining who is buried.

This morning Mary brought photos of past cemetery visits when the adult children present today were still babies. Her notebook included large photos of each deceased relative, and she showed the children how to match the pictures to the tombstone names. The idea of death being a part of everyone’s earthly life is a topic we’ve all been encouraged to freely discuss.

We talked about Nate (the most recent death) and his loyalty to his law clients, his infectious laugh, and his soldiering on through difficulties.

We also talked of Dad bringing Mom to this spot on some of their first dates in 1940. He was letting her know that family was a top priority with him, and it might even have been a test to see if she felt the same. Now, after 50 years of marriage, they’re buried side-by-side.

Dad had also mentioned that since his brother and mother both died in the early 1900’s before effective embalming and weatherproof caskets, their bodies had probably decomposed. He told us, ”Most likely their remains are feeding the roots of this big oak tree here.”

We found his comment odd and also funny, but it revealed an acceptance of death as part of life. Dad believed, as the rest of us do, that those buried in the family plot had gone ahead to better lives.

Key words? “Gone ahead.”

These deceased relatives now know far more than we do about life after death. Though their bodies may have deteriorated at the end of their lives and after death, their spirits  soared to life-spectacular. That’s why we can stand at the cemetery every Memorial Day and talk openly of their lives and deaths without spooky feelings, uncertainty, or fear. We’re confident each of them is privy to a happy ending. Thankfully, the rest of us can be sustained by the same hope.

Prayer of gratitude

Traveling 200 miles today to be reminded of that was well worth the drive.

“In [God’s] great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you.” (1 Peter 1:3-4)