That’s news to me!

We’ve all heard the expression, “No news is good news.” In other words, since bad news travels fast, no new news probably means there’s no bad news, since that would come before good news, which then assumes all the news we haven’t yet heard is good. Whew!

Both good and bad news can take us by surprise, which is great with good news and awful with bad. When bad news does come, our responses tell a great deal about us. Do we panic? Despair? Jump to extreme conclusions?

As Christians we ought to be able to monitor our reactions by way of biblical truth. Believing that God travels with us through every bad-news-situation and that he won’t allow us to come into more than we can handle should be enough to stave off negative responses, but sometimes it just isn’t.

Eight weeks ago I got some bad news in the form of a secret from one of my kids. Katy and Hans called from England to ask for prayer about a serious matter, and I was more than happy to do so. Going into God’s throne room with my children is one of life’s highest privileges and a great way to sidestep anxiety.

Today I’m happy to report the Lord answered our prayers as we’d hoped, and the new news that wasn’t meant to be broadcast 8 weeks ago can now be joyfully told far and wide: Katy and Hans will welcome baby #4 in May!

But what about those times when news that comes to us is all bad and a rescue or change doesn’t occur? What if God chooses to let the bad stuff stand? What if our baby had miscarried?

I believe bad news is God-given opportunity to exercise our faith muscles. It’s a chance to prove to ourselves and him what we really think. Do we trust him like we say we do? Do we believe he acts on our prayers? Do we accept that he still loves us when the bad news is really bad?

If we can answer yes, then bad news shouldn’t throw us. So why does it? Maybe because we don’t have a pre-news strategy in place ahead of time. For example, we could determine that whenever bad news comes, we won’t speak until after asking God to control our words. Or we could tell ourselves we’ll search for blessings in the news. Or we could express quick thanks that God will walk with us through it.

Those responses are far better than fear or anguish. After all, much of what we first hear in a bad-news flash isn’t usually accurate, and the extremes we dread don’t often happen.

And once in a while, the news that looks all bad changes into something really wonderful…. like a brand new grandbaby!

The Lord says, “I will rescue those who love me. I will protect those who trust in my name… I will be with them in trouble…. I will rescue and honor them. (Psalm 91:14-15)

A Good God

Last weekend we marked the 21st anniversary of my father’s death in 1991. Dad was a late bloomer. He dated only one woman and didn’t get started on that project until his 40’s, but that slow start never disadvantaged him. He and Mom made it to their 50th anniversary, and I remember well the party we planned for them.

Several members of their original wedding party from 1941 were able to join us, bringing their remembrances with them. Granddaughters modeled Mom’s wedding gown and a bridesmaid’s dress, and a Chicago bakery recreated their wedding cake. The celebration was like an exclamation point at the end of a good marriage, because the very next month God called Dad to heaven.

Whenever something happens with unusual timing like that, it’s probably God’s way of getting our attention. He orchestrates things purposefully and hopes we’ll learn from it. What message might have been buried within the unusual timing of Mom and Dad’s 50th anniversary being followed so quickly by Dad’s death?

One lesson might be the importance of waiting to make big decisions until God gives the green light. When Dad’s 20’s and 30’s were passing him by, he could have panicked, wondering if he’d ever find the right girl. Would he miss out on married love, a home with children, grandchildren?

Marriage is a decision of considerable consequence, and Dad wisely waited until all indicators pointed to the right time and the right woman. But marrying at 42 made it seem unlikely he and Mom would reach their 50th. God, however, said, “Just watch me.” Dad’s late start had been the Lord’s perfect choice after all.

A second thing we can learn from the timing of Dad’s death is that God has control of our calendars. We write and rewrite them, but God makes last- minute rearrange- ments whenever he chooses. So we learn it’s a good idea to remember whose endorsement we should seek before we make our plans.

One last thing we can learn from the Lord’s timing with Dad is that God is good. Scripture tells us God delights in giving gifts to his children, and Dad’s making it all the way to the 50th was one of them. The trick for us now is to remember that the God-is-good character quality is still a part of God, even when his gifts might seem few and far between.

Our Lord doesn’t change. He was a good God before 1991, has been good since then, and will be good throughout eternity. If he does or doesn’t show that to us, it has no effect on whether or not it’s true. God himself put it best when he said, “I am who I am.”

Dad’s been gone a long while, and sometimes we think it’s a shame he’s missed 21 years of family life. But of course he’s having his own special good times in God’s family, where the Lord’s goodness can be visualized every single day.

“No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly.” (Psalm 84:11)

Hey Mom: from Nelson

Although our family is more than a week past the anniversary of Nate’s death, our children continue to share how they’re coping now, 3 years later. The 7 of them range in age from 22 to 39 and thus are all adults, but they’ll always be their Papa’s children.

We widows (and widowers) sometimes become so focused on managing our own seismic changes that we might forget to ask family members how they’re doing, too. Perhaps thoughts from my grown children can encourage other families who are also working to stay close as a group, despite having lost one parent.

Nate’s and my firstborn, Nelson, is currently far from home in Armenia, where he works full time with a global mission organization, Youth With A Mission. Distance on the globe, however, doesn’t translate to distance of heart:

Hey Mom,

I thought about Papa and you, of course, when we crossed over the Nov. 3 anniversary of his death. I have talked before about how that was the time I re-entered missions with YWAM [Youth With A Mission] with my team. It was a totally unique time.

Seeing the pic of him on your blog this morning really made me miss him. Interestingly, I was struck with regret about how I was as a teenager and beyond, and how I wish our relationship had been “more.” Whatever that means, I don’t know. Maybe it just means that I miss him, and it’s easier to beat yourself up for the past than it is to move on in a healthy way.

Here in Armenia, I hear Russian spoken all the time, and it reminds me of Papa. I still can’t believe he could speak it.

You have demonstrated the right way to move on to all of us and so many others. There is an American guy here who works at the US embassy, who did a DTS a while back. [Discipleship Training School with YWAM]  He lost his mother a month ago, and they were really close. He wanted to hear from me about losing a parent, so he took me to a fancy French restaurant the other night, and we “debriefed” a little about it.

God is faithful to use all our experiences for his glory.

Love,
Nel

Our God is a global God, yet he’s also focused on the details of our lives and is “faithful to use all our experiences for his glory.” That includes widowhood and losing a father, as well as youthful mistakes with their consequences, and every other “wish-I-hadn’t” from our pasts. Our heavenly Father is in the business of redeeming our mess-ups by restructuring them as set-ups for positive purposes in the lives of others. Although the devil hopes to immobilize us with ropes of regret, God is always way ahead of him, taking our spiritual lemons and making divine lemonade.

Thank you, Nelson, for your love across the miles and your insightful reminder today.

“Godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted.” (2 Corinthians 7:10)