Category Archives: Adult Children

The Power of Love

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Those of us who are mothers know the sacrificial nature of mother-love. As I watch Birgitta relate to her 3-day-old infant Emerald, I’m reminded again of this potent emotion and what it looks like. For a 22 year old single mom, as for most new moms, it translates to a happy willingness to suffer for her child: inconvenience, sleeplessness, hunger, thirst, lack of a shower, and always putting self last. Birgitta’s love for her little girl is a 1 Corinthians 13 love for sure.

From J. B. Phillips New Testament translation, her love…

  • is slow to lose patience (i.e. never)
  • looks for a way to be constructive (and how to handle Emerald best)
  • is not possessive (willingly shares Emerald with the rest of us)
  • isn’t anxious to impress (by bragging)
  • doesn’t have an inflated idea of her own importance (never complaining about fatigue or lack of time for herself)
  • has good manners (treats her little one with respect and kindness)
  • does not pursue selfish advantage (feeds her first)
  • isn’t touchy (tries to understand the need behind baby’s fussing)
  • doesn’t keep account of evil (by dismissing the criticisms of others)
  • is glad when truth prevails (and thankful when others see her child as the blessing she is)
  • knows no limit to its endurance (smiles at Emerald, despite exhaustion)
  • knows no end to its trust (being sure God will help her to be a good mom)
  • knows no fading of its hope (expecting the best of her mother-daughter relationship)
  • can outlast anything! (and never fade)

Acting this way toward Emerald seems easy for Birgitta. It’s what she wants to do more than anything else. But 1 Corinthians 13 wasn’t meant just for new moms, and using it in other contexts isn’t always that easy. God’s intention is for us to act in the above ways in all circumstances and toward all people.

In other words, he wants us to sacrificially love everyone. That includes those who rub us the wrong way or bring us grief and even those we’d classify as our enemies, which is a great deal more difficult than loving a newborn. First Corinthians 13 also tells us that no matter what accomplishments we make in life, no matter how righteous our attitudes or deeds, if our M.O. isn’t love we’ve done nothing worthy of praise.

Those are strong words we’ll spend a lifetime trying to live up to. But while we’re trying, I know one new mom and baby who might be a powerful inspiration.

“Love is, in fact, the one thing that still stands when all else has fallen.” (1 Corinthians 13:8)

 

 

The Desire Accomplished

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This afternoon there was a funny noise in our cottage: the sound of a newborn. Birgitta and Emerald arrived home together but not as together as they’d been for the last 9 months. Now the cord has been cut, and Emerald is breathing and eating as a separate entity. We’ve had the joy of watching her birth and have been changed by the wonder of it all.

Birgitta impressed us by persevering through a torturously long labor that began on Tuesday evening and ended Friday afternoon. Though she’d hoped to pursue an all-natural delivery, the unrelenting contractions that refused to “get organized” (nursing terminology) dictated a different route.

Eventually she had a talk with herself and willingly set aside her personal goals to do what was best for her baby: get her born. She acquiesced to drugs that sped up labor to intolerable levels, then finally had to say yes to additional drugs that helped her save energy for the big push.

In the end, after 67 hours of labor, little Emerald emerged peacefully and intact, swinging one arm out ahead of the rest of her as if to say, “Hi, everybody!” Her delivery room audience of 9 applauded and voiced a welcome, and Birgitta’s longing to meet her baby was satisfied.

The only almost-casualty was Louisa. Overcome with emotion, she came close to a dead-faint but for a quick-thinking nurse and a cold cloth to her neck. Louisa rallied, though, in time to finish videoing the birth and hear that the baby’s middle name would be her own. Her tears of happiness blessed us all.

This labor and delivery was a perfect example of the way God works, too. His solutions to our problems always seem laborious and slow in coming. We ask him to help, then wonder. Did he hear? Is he too busy? Does he care? Can he see this suffering? Why won’t he act?

And then, just like with Birgitta’s seemingly interminable labor, everything changes quickly and resolves. In some cases our cries to God don’t come together with his solutions for months or even years, and while we’re waiting, we lose heart. When that happens, the only thing to do is take his promises at face value and, like Birgitta, continue to persevere. He says, “Remember, I’m still in the middle of this, even though you can’t see me. I said I’d bring an end to your pain, and I will. My methods aren’t like yours, but believe me that they’re always better. You’ll absolutely marvel!”

What better metaphor for that long process than labor and delivery? Birgitta’s memory of her struggle rapidly diminished as elation took over, just as it does when the Lord brings new circumstances that obliterate our old troubles.

We look at what he’s done and wonder how we could have ever doubted he would do it.

“A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy.” (John 16:21)

A Painful Wait

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The Garden of Eden has been on my mind today, especially the moment God told Eve her blatant disobedience would result in pain during childbirth. (Genesis 3:16) She wasn’t a mother and didn’t know what childbirth was, let alone a child, but she knew that whatever it was, it wouldn’t be good. She also didn’t know what intensity of pain God was talking about since she’d never experienced pain of any kind, but during her moments of discipline, she knew upcoming days would include some hardship.

Eve went on to bear many children in pain, and last night Birgitta got her first taste of what God meant. Painful labor contractions began while we sat at a birthday dinner for Lars in Chicago’s Loop. Mary and Bervin were hosting a meal for 12 at their condo, and immediately after Lars blew out his candles, we announced, “Birgitta’s in labor!”

Without thinking, every one of the guests rose to their feet simultaneously, an impulsive response to significant news. Old and young, male and female, we all know bearing babies is a really big deal. As we encircled Birgitta, her Uncle Bervin blessed her through a beautiful prayer, making sure to cover our newest family member, the little someone at the center of the birthing drama.

And then off we went to Michigan, a caravan of 3 cars: ours in the lead, Mary following (just in case we had roadside drama), Louisa and cousin Stina after that. My Highlander was already equipped with “a birthing kit” that included blankets (both baby’s and mama’s), towels, wipes, scissors, latex gloves, a flashlight, string, and a bulb syringe. RFA! *

Birgitta, valiantly breathing through frequent contractions, said, “I guess we should practice some of those breathing techniques we learned.”

“Yeah,” I said, “but I can’t remember! What were they?”

She reminded me, and I said, “I sure hope you can coach me through all this ok.”

Wanting to go home before the hospital to grab our overnight bags and to tend to Jack, the 3 cars gathered at the cottage. But just after we’d called the doctor and loaded the car, Birgitta’s labor began calming. Hospital personnel said, “Not just yet.” And so we waited. Through the night.

By morning, though, the pains were more regular, so off we went. But wishing doesn’t make it so. After hanging around the hospital for several hours without significant progress, the doctor suggested we head for home where Birgitta could continue laboring more comfortably. And so after 24 hours of excitement, today ends much as it began, with Birgitta laboring like a champion and the rest of us practicing patience.

I think Eve would be proud of my daughter’s courageous approach to “bringing forth children in pain.” And I know that the moment Birgitta meets her baby daughter, the whole drama will have been worth every single contraction.

“The earth [is] the Lord’s, and the fullness thereof; the world, and they that dwell therein.” (Psalm 24:1)

*Ready For Anything!