Category Archives: Adult Children

A Worthwhile Harvest

Posted on by

Nate died 25 months ago, but his influence continues on. This will be true for all of us. The seeds sown into others’ lives keep on taking root, blossoming and bearing fruit, whether good or bad. All of us are given a lifetime of days during which to do our farming, and it’s up to us what we plant.

Jesus told a fascinating story about seeds. He describes an industrious farmer who worked hard planting a big field, after which he went to bed satisfied with his effort. While he was sleeping, though, his enemy quietly moved in and planted weed-seeds among the wheat.

As the good plants began peeking above the soil, the bad ones did, too, and the wise farmer recognized the subversive work of an adversary. Once the plants were growing together, there wasn’t much he could do, but at harvest time, with extra effort, he solved the dilemma.

By that time the weeds were easy to separate from the wheat, probably because they were taller. Weeds always seem to grow bigger and quicker than the more valuable plants. The farmer had the weeds pulled first, bundling and burning them, followed by the wheat that had been left standing. It was hard work, but in the end he got the cash crop he’d originally planted.

This afternoon I found fresh evidence of Nate’s profitable farming. I opened one of our many Bibles to check a passage and noticed his handwriting in the front. He’d been planting heart-seeds in one of his children who was leaving home for college, gifting him with a Bible and words of affirmation on the flyleaf:

 “As your father, I’ve noticed your ability to befriend others with ease; of kindness and patience with small children; of self-confidence and grace with your peers.”

He went on to challenge him to use college years to develop the talents God had given him. Then he wrote, “Your abilities can be used to worship God and also to lead others to Christ and to make the right choices in their lives.” He continued, quoting from his favorite Scripture passage, giving his son a heads-up about avoiding sin.

In concluding he wrote, “Know that your mother and I love and cherish you as a child of ours and as a child of the Lord. Love, Papa.”

Nate was planting good seeds, regardless of the enemy’s desire to mix bad in with the his good. Reading the words he wrote challenged me to keep farming, despite unwittingly planting bad seeds among the good. According to Scripture, the harvest can be 100 times what was sown, which makes it doubly important to “plant positive.”

But the scriptural parable can encourage even those of us who occasionally mess up, telling us that all it takes is one good seed to bring a magnificent crop.

“Though it is the smallest of all seeds, yet when it grows, it is the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree.” (Matthew 13:32)

A Man of Integrity

Posted on by

Today is the 20th anniversary of my Dad’s death in 1991. He married for the first time at 42 and was privileged to hit the 50 year mark with Mom, shortly before he died. Although he didn’t have even one health issue at the ripe old age of 92, a fall that splintered his pelvis into 13 pieces proved fatal. Although a young person could have tolerated traction for so long, immobilizing an elderly man worked against his survival.

Dad was born in 1899, a fact we children flaunted on school playgrounds. Mom used to say he was a contemporary of D.L.Moody who died 3 months after Dad was born. As a kid I used to reason that older was wiser, so Dad must have been the wisest father around.

The first child of parents who’d immigrated to America as teens, Dad spoke only Swedish when he walked into 1st grade at age 6. But he was quiet and observant, quickly learning English and other American ways, like how to avoid the knuckle-smack of an angry public school teacher.

He lost a little brother to pneumonia when he was 12, and his mother to TB at 13. After helping raise two younger siblings then training with the Army during World War I, he rode a streetcar to Northwestern University and emerged with two degrees. He navigated the Great Depression as a 30-something, and worked tirelessly to preserve his dying father’s real estate business.

My sister, brother and I loved hearing stories about the early 20th century, viewing him as a walking, talking history book. As a kid he chased after horse-drawn ice wagons hoping for loose chips on a hot day, and watched donkeys drag wagons of dirt out of hand-dug tunnels, Chicago’s eventual subway system. The city was paved with mud, election results were announced with fireworks, and all of it fascinated us.

Dad was honest to a fault. If a letter arrived with the stamp uncanceled, he’d say, “You can’t reuse that stamp, you know. It did what it was bought to do, and using it again would be robbing the postal service.” Letters only cost two cents then, but his statement was more about integrity than money.

Despite a bumpy background, Dad never experienced self-pity or bemoaned his losses, accepting life as it was. Although he wasn’t demonstrative and rarely shared his emotions, we all knew he loved us and would do anything in his power to help us. We also knew he gave 50% of his income to God’s work at the peak of his business career, which spoke volumes about his faith priorities.

My siblings and I were given a gift in Dad, but also a responsibility. Scripture says, “When someone has been given much, much will be required in return; and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required.” (Luke 12:48)

And then there was Dad, who had much taken, but gave more than he’d been given anyway.

“Those who have been given a trust must prove faithful.” (1 Corinthians 4:2)

 

 

Story Time

Posted on by

Our daughter Linnea and son Hans, both busy young parents, share a love of books. These days, however, their personal reading time is at a premium since their collective offspring are ages 3, 2, 1, 1, and 1 (with another non-reader arriving in February). But Linnea (with Adam) and Hans (with Katy) try to share their love of books with their children by way of daily story times.

Nate, too, was intentional in his efforts to transfer his passion for reading to his 7 children, purchasing a giant book of classic fairy tales while I was still pregnant with our first. This book was a hardbound volume weighing 5 pounds that was full of tiny print, not exactly the stereotypical children’s book. (I favored plasticized board books with which our baby could simultaneously get educated and cut teeth.)

After Nelson arrived, Nate made good on his intentions and began reading to him nightly. One day, 3 weeks into parenthood, he said, “Do you think it’s too soon to introduce poetry?” I laughed but had to admire his gusto.

Toting his 5 pound volume around the house, Nate took advantage of multiple opportunities to read to his drooling audience of one. Thanks to him, by the time baby #2 came along, we’d gotten into a happy bedtime routine of stories, songs and prayers that continued until the kids were teenagers, much like many families we know.

Today I look at my bookshelves, pared down by two-thirds when we moved, and at least one-third of the books are still for children. I’ve hung onto them partly to read to grandkids but partly just because they’re comfortable old friends.

God was the originator of words and stories, and he has filled Scripture with them. Over the years we’ve learned much of what we know about him through the stories he’s given us. Also included in the Bible are the stories of people who rejected him, and we’ve learned from those, too.

Parents begin story time with a question: “What would you like to read?”

God also points to his stories with a question: “Which do you believe?”

All of us buy children’s books with care, wanting a measure of control over what goes into young minds. The volumes that make it onto our shelves have been screened so that any choice a child makes is a good one.

But there’s one big difference between that and God’s story time. Parents have already made the acceptable choices before their children approach the shelf. God opens the whole library and says, “The choice is up to you.”

“This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: ‘Write in a book all the words I have spoken to you.’ ” (Jeremiah 30:2) “Every word of God is flawless; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him.” (Proverbs 30:5)