Category Archives: Adult Children

Divine Design

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This weekend, 4000 miles away from me, my British grandbaby-twins are celebrating their first birthdays. Missing out on all the fun, I’m chastising myself for not having arranged to be on hand for the party. It would have been a weekend of three hallelujahs: Evelyn, Thomas and Easter!

Today in honor of these one year olds, I went back and re-read my blog posts from the 12 days I spent in England with them when they were newborns, and viewed the 112 photos posted during my 10 day visit last fall (with Nelson and Klaus). Hans, Katy and all three children came to the States in September (Blog post: “Surprise!” Sept 8, 2010) and again for 5 weeks at Christmas.

Four trans-Atlantic together-times in one year is pretty good. Will we do as well in 2011?

Children change radically during that first year, tripling their birth weights and learning a thousand skills. Never again in their lives will they develop at such a pace, and missing the majority of it is difficult. But I’m thankful for modern technology that keeps us up-to-date.

Small children are potent reminders of the passing of time. Watching them change so extensively that first year finds parents and grandparents huffing and puffing just to keep up, and I don’t  mean with the speed of their crawling. Some of their growth occurs so quickly we hardly have a memory of it.

Looking back one year ago when Evelyn and Thomas were helpless newborns, we didn’t know them well and were just beginning to get acquainted. Today we see them as individuals with specific personality traits, opinions and bents, and we know them well.

They occupy two important places in the Nyman family, too. If they disappeared tomorrow, the void would be significant. It’s taken only one year for Evelyn and Thomas to make a major mark on our whole family, and that’s because God is involved.

He’s designed every person who ever lived to be a unique, one-of-a-kind individual, never tiring of the creative process, never running out of ideas. Evelyn and Thomas are not repeats, and for all eternity they’ll each have the God-given soul and distinctive personhood they have today. I find that intriguing and thrilling, a triumph of divine design.

Katy and Hans have worked thousands of hours to bring their twins to this first birthday celebration, and I’ve had the chance to watch some of that exhausting diligence up close. But I know they’d both nod with enthusiastic approval if asked whether or not it was worth it.

As Katy put it, we have “1 who is 2, and 2 who are 1,” three little people who present one big challenge!

Beloved [twins], I pray that in all respects you may prosper and be in good health, just as your soul prospers.” (3 John 1:2)

Happy birthday!

 

All Broken Up

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Recently a group of us rented a condo in Florida, and as we were leaving, one year old Micah tripped on a lamp cord and pulled it to the ground, shattering it. Klaus took the evidence to the property manager, who shrugged it off saying, “Don’t worry about it.” He wouldn’t even let us pay for it.

Once back at home, I went to the post office to pick up my vacation mail. Passing the drive-up mailbox I noticed it was broken, too. The once-narrow mail slot had been wrenched open to resemble a camping tent, its metal twisted by someone driving too close. No doubt the car’s side mirror went home broken, too.

Yesterday while cleaning out my china hutch, I broke a small mirror. Today I broke a votive candle. And that’s how life goes. Stuff gets broken.

The lamp, mailbox, mirror and votive can be repaired or replaced without too much trouble, but what about breaks that aren’t so easily fixed?

During the same Florida vacation, my nephew-in-law broke his elbow while playing racket ball, careening full force against an unforgiving wall. Three weeks later he’s still experiencing pain and inconvenience from the break, but eventually it’ll heal.

There are other breaks, though, that never seem to mend, like broken hearts. We’ve all had our share through disappointment, treachery, dashed hope, regret, betrayal, death. I think God sees our grief in these situations and comes in close, reminding us of his presence and love. The hurt may not be completely repaired on this side of eternity, but the Lord partners with us to share the burden.

There is one kind of break, however, that causes God to rejoice. It’s the broken heart we experience when convicted of our own sin. Psalm 51 says, “The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God.”

A willful break from God leads to a broken spirit, which God is good at fixing. He makes a supernatural repair superior to anything Super Glue can do. And on the other side of that fix is God’s forgiveness and our joy.

I’ve broken quite a few things in my life, but so has God. He’s broken something that turned out to be spectacular for us; he broke the power of sin, which is what Jesus accomplished on the cross. Because of that we are dead to sin and alive to God through Christ Jesus. (Romans 6) His break led to our being repaired.

My parents taught these things to us from childhood, and Mom also made sure she covered several other breaks. One night when I was 17 and in a dating relationship, she said, “How’s your love life?” She knew I wouldn’t share any secrets but wanted to crack open the door, just in case.

“Fine,” I said.

Then she said, “If any guy breaks your heart, I’ll break his neck.”

I know that was just her “cool” way of saying she loved me, but when a boy did eventually break my heart, I sure-as-shootin’ didn’t tell Mom.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.” (Psalm 34:18)

Doing the Right Thing

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I’m proud of my daughter Linnea. She’s good at doing life and doesn’t shy away from challenges. But what impresses me most is her strong sense of compassion for others.

Today I was given an unexpected treat. Linnea began helping at a local pregnancy center a couple of years ago, and last summer she joined the staff part-time, one evening and one morning each week. Because she’s been on vacation with us at Sanibel Island but is now home, she needed to catch up on her work at the center, and I tagged along.

Linnea is responsible for a 12 week teaching course encouraging first-time parents through their pregnancies and into the early days of parenting. They’re coached to think about their babies long-term and are also given practical tools about finances and budgeting, marketability and careers.

The teaching task is immense, but the women working at this pregnancy center have a vision to save babies and assist the young mothers into their new roles. The center offers an incentive for coming to meetings: Baby Bucks to be spent at the baby boutique there.

Girls who come to meetings and do the homework can accumulate enough Bucks to purchase a brand new baby bed for their little one. Smaller amounts buy baby clothes, blankets, diapers and toys. Maternity clothes are also available and can be checked out like library books, no charge if they’re brought back after use.

Linnea showed me shelves full of baby gift bags for mommies who return after giving birth to show off their newborns. Each bag is assembled by a couple that donates the contents and wraps them festively.

I also got to see and hold soft, plastic baby-models, weighted correctly to represent in utero babies in different months of pregnancy. The girls can cradle these babies while visualizing their own, beginning to understand what’s going on inside of them.

I saw counseling rooms, a large group meeting room, the room in which results of pregnancy tests are made known, the various offices and the door leading to an ultrasound room. It’s a rare mother-to-be who sees her baby on an ultrasound screen and still opts for abortion.

The center was quiet today, so while Linnea went about her work, I found a chair in the reception area to spend time praying. Soon the director of the center arrived to do some work of her own. I introduced myself as Linnea’s mom, and she said, “I can’t tell you what an asset Linnea is to our team. She’s done wonders for our entire teaching program.” If a heart can be warmed, mine was.

Linnea works hard to free herself from the at-home mothering she loves in order to be at the center two days each week, but she does it because she feels compassion for the girls, and because there are eternal consequences to the work. Her desire is to help as she can and to prepare each mother-to-be for the challenge ahead.

God is pleased. And so am I.

May God “make you worthy of his calling, that by his power he may bring to fruition your every desire for goodness and your every deed prompted by faith.” (2 Thessalonians 1:11)