Category Archives: Adult Children

Fountain of Youth

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By now I’m used to goodbyes. When children grow into adults and move away, parents are waving them off continually. Today was a waving day as Hans, Katy, Nicholas, Evelyn and Thomas boarded an American Airlines jet for England. They were anxious to get home, and the rest of us are ready to get back to work and study.

With three car seats, a double stroller, five massive bags, unnumbered carry-ons and eight people, we needed two vehicles to get to the airport. Part of that was three drivers, two to circle while the third assisted Hans and Katy through check-in. The babies slept through the two hour ride, waking as if cued by an alarm as we pulled up to the airport curb.

 

Watching them roll/push/haul toward the big double doors, two babies in the stroller and one strapped to Hans’ back, I marveled at their efficiency in getting to this point without a glitch. Katy was so well organized this morning we had time for a cup of tea as we waited for the appointed moment to step out the door.

I’m thankful to God for these children and grandchildren, each one custom-designed by the Creator to accomplish the divine purposes for which they were born. I’m the privileged bystander, looking on and lending a hand along the way. Spending time with them is of great delight in the autumn of my life.

But there’s one chronic stress in our situation. All of my grandchildren live far from me. That means it’s double-or-nothing when we’re together. Either they have to move in with me or I with them, which can put a strain on young and old alike.

One friend told me that after she stayed in her daughter’s home with her two grands, back home she needed a week’s recuperation for each week spent with them. Last time she visited for three weeks so it was another three before she felt ready to put anything on her at-home calendar. I chuckled when she said that, but I didn’t have grandchildren then.

Now I do, and I understand.

As we stepped back in the door at home tonight, the first thing I did was pause at the baby toy bin sitting ready for a lift back to the basement. With a twang of sadness I wondered when my grandbabies would next handle those toys. Maybe so much time will pass before they return, they’ll have grown beyond them and the answer is “never”.

The second thing I did was sit down to think about that, and before I knew it, my head was hanging, and I was asleep.

Let’s see. The kids were here for five weeks. That means I’ll be back to normal by the end of February…. except that I’ll be staying with my Florida grandchildren to celebrate Micah’s first birthday well before then.

Maybe instead of counting weeks, I should just acquiesce to Mom’s point of view: “Spend as much time as you can with children; it’ll add decades to your life.”

 “The love of the Lord remains forever with those who fear him. His salvation extends to the children’s children.” (Psalm 103:17)

What a Character

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We see the slogan “Character Counts” on banners across elementary school entrance doors and are taught from young ages that who we are when no one’s watching is the real us.

Tonight six of us began a dinnertime chat that evolved into an hours-long discussion on the character of an individual. Although some people conduct their lives based on principles they refuse to compromise, others live in the wiggle-room between conviction and chaos.

Most of us know that doing the right thing in any given set of circumstances usually means making the hard choice, and that’s especially true when no one’s keeping track. But how many people actually do the right thing every time? Our conclusion was, not many.

What if we define the specific lines we won’t cross no matter what, and then a test comes? How likely is it we’ll stick to our guns? How likely we’ll give in?

Our discussion led us to several conclusions: First, Satan lives by a set of principles, too. The trouble is, his are always at odds with ours, if we’re Christians. The second conclusion: everything that coaxes us to violate our own standards comes from him. And the third: oftentimes we’re unaware of crossing our own lines-in-the-sand until both feet are planted on the wrong side, because of Satan’s subtle ways.

We tell ourselves, “A thought to do something bad is only a temptation, not a sin. I can’t help what pops into my head, and one thought leads to another. Until I’ve acted on it, it can’t be sin.” But that may be stretching the truth.

We came to a fourth conclusion: if Satan presses us hard to violate our principles for living but we prevail and make the hard right choice, he’ll be sure to return later with the same temptation, hoping repeated prodding will weaken our resolve.

Does Scripture teach us how to defend our principles?

First of all, it provides a flawless model in Jesus Christ. When we study his example, we see how to be faithful to right principles. Jesus lived a human life hounded by the devil just as we are, but he never crossed the line into sin. Satan often used the established Jewish hierarchy to harass him in an attempt to break down his resolve.

One day these men approached him. “Teacher,” they said, “we know that you are a man of integrity and that you teach the way of God in accordance with the truth. You aren’t swayed by others, because you pay no attention to who they are.” (Matthew 22:16) Then they went on to try to trap him with words. But in this introductory statement we find two keys to living a principled life: (1) Base it on “the way of God in accordance with the truth,” and (2) don’t be swayed by the opinions of others.

As we work at these two things, we’ll learn to deny our natural me-firsts and substitute the ways of Christ. With enough practice, we’ll stop justifying our sins and find ourselves doing the right thing, even when no one’s watching.

“Whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.” (Matthew 16:25)

Blessed by a Blizzard

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Before our Florida family left us for their southern home, they’d hoped for a heavy snowstorm. Although they loved our northern cold after a hot weather year, they were disappointed with the small accumulation they found at Christmas time.

Louisa also arrived home eager to get into a Michigan winter after a school semester in sweaty Kona, Hawaii. Hopeful for deep snow, in the short time she was here, she didn’t get it.

Our British family has been here long enough to have enjoyed a blizzard at the front end of their stay but were counting on just one more snowfall before they left (next week).

Tonight they hit the jackpot.

A narrow column of lake effect snow is crawling at 4 mph from north to south along Lake Michigan, dumping its load directly on us as it hits land. On the satellite map the storm looks like Mother Nature’s gloved finger moving along the water surface as if checking for dust on a mantle top. Tonight’s forecast is in feet rather than inches, although in nearby Chicago, skies are clear.

Looking out the window, I feel like we’re living in a glass snow globe someone has just shaken. The blizzard churns in every direction, and we can hardly see the end of the yard. But it’s strikingly beautiful, clean and bright-white, even through nighttime’s darkness.

The God of summer rain is also the God of winter snow. He has set the world in motion and in that sense the laws of nature obey his orders. But according to Scripture, he’s more directly involved with our storm than that. Consider this passage from Job 37 and its description of the Lord’s command over nature:

“He says to the snow, ‘Fall on the earth.’ So that everyone he has made may know his work, he stops all people from their labor. The tempest comes out from its chamber, the cold from the driving winds. The breath of God produces ice, and the broad waters become frozen. He loads the clouds with moisture. At his direction they swirl around over the face of the whole earth to do whatever he commands them.”

The Bible says it well. We’ve stopped what we’re doing to look out the windows, marveling at what’s going on out there. Massive Lake Michigan is being stilled as frozen winds freeze it, and the clouds are loaded with moisture as they swirl in obedience to God’s commands.

 

Although tonight’s storm is an excuse to get out and frolic, it’s also the perfect chance to be enveloped in one of God’s wonders, appreciating him in the snow and giving him credit for this display of power and impressive splendor.

“The Almighty is beyond our reach and exalted in power.” (Job 37:23)