Category Archives: Aging

Happy Birthday to Nelson

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Today is Nelson’s birthday. Well, it was.

Being in Paradise as he is, he’s been given the supernatural gift of agelessness. No matter how old the rest of us get, Nelson will never age past 49. But each year when his birthday came around, planning a party was always last choice on his list. He believed what his grandpa had told him long ago, that birthdays shouldn’t be a big deal, because everyone had one every year.

But as the years passed, Nelson touched lightly on growing older in his journal entries. He also used these diaries to puzzle through problems by way of written words. Each page, then, was a mix of thinking and praying “out loud.”  

 

These journals now belong to Ann Sophie, and though she wouldn’t have looked into them while Nelson was still with us, now she’s free to read . As she and Astrid, little Will and I have commemorated Nelson’s birthday here in Minnesota today, we’ve enjoyed reading aloud from his writings, sometimes laughing through our tears, and sometimes finding surprises. Here’s an entry from the day before his birthday, written one year ago, shortly before cancer invaded his world:

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Thursday 1/25/2022 7:08 PM

I turn 49 tomorrow. We’re having a baby boy in March, which is about to be next month. New things are happening, and yesterday a possible door opened for a career change I sort of looked for, but didn’t do more than talk about.

Tim, our electrical on campus has been working for us a lot. I’ve seen him, talked to him, and fantasized about getting a trade I could use anywhere to work and supply for my family, and have fun doing it.

I’ve been in “ministry” for a long time and You have supplied for me there without question, Lord. We have always more freedom and more than enough money. We have connections in YWAM all over the place, and it’s our home for now.

The apartment we have is great and the campus seems happy to have us. However, I have been praying and fasting about how to handle having a baby and if anything should change. 

Yesterday, I saw Tim walking by building D and asked him for a job, essentially, and he said he’s short guys and would work out a deal with me for between $18-25 hr. It would take me 3 years to get my journeyman’s license to go out on my own, if I wanted to. Really, that’s my goal.

I have thought about what it would be like to pastor the church and work a normal job, sort of a bi-vocational existence. You don’t know until you try. Annso says she has to be forced into her blessings, or something like that, and she trusts me to make the right choice. 

But it doesn’t seem possible to staff the Kokua Crew and work 7-3, M-F for another outfit.

I pray, Lord, that you would make it clear what I should do with this opportunity. Should I take it? Would that mean leaving YWAM altogether? Could Annso stay on staff technically and I be off? Could that work having a new baby? Didn’t we want her to be totally off staff? Would that mean we are done with BBC [Brentwood Baptist Church]?

I pray, Lord, you would expose any ulterior motive, but be merciful. We are all motivated selfishly and out of pride when it comes down to it. I have been given these premonitions before and you have led me when I didn’t know where I was going and it didn’t make sense.

Friday, 1/26/2022, Nelson’s birthday

Today is my 49th birthday. I lost track a little in there and thought maybe I was turning fifty. I am becoming a father at 49. How about that. Might even do a career change this year too. How crazy would that be?

Annso and I prayed about the offer with Tim to work and start becoming an electrician, and seemed to get a yes. She is reluctant because it’s a change, and I have to make it attractive to her, too. For me it helps us in lots of ways and gives us a break from YWAM, which we both need. Allows us to continue to pastor the Little Red Church, which I have always wanted to do. 

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Nelson recorded these notes/prayers one year ago today. He had no idea it would be his last birthday. But for him, the clocking of time has ended, and eternity has begun. Actually, eternity has begun for the rest of us, too. But with our feet still firmly planted in this world, we can’t yet see it as clearly as he does.

“This is eternal life, that they know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent.” (John 17:3)

A Lovely Look-Back

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Reminiscing brings pleasure to those of us getting up in years. We find joy in looking back over our shoulders at the many ways God was active on our behalf.

Not long ago the Lord initiated a look-back that surprised us all. My adult kids and I were following a road map of all the places Nate and I had lived in the Chicago area after we were married – a tour set up by Linnea.

First stop was a tidy bungalow Nate and I called home right after he graduated from law school. We lived there with an aunt who kept me company when Nate had to go on active military duty.

Next we visited the city apartment building where we lived for a year as Nate settled into his first lawyering job in Chicago’s Loop.

After that we drove to a three story walk-up on the north side of the city. Back in 1972, it had charmed us because of its proximity to a small patch of beach on Lake Michigan’s shoreline. If Nate and I hung our heads out the apartment window and looked left, we could see the water.  

We then drove to the suburbs and stopped at three houses, the first in Deerfield where we lived for three years, the second (also Deerfield) for five years, and the third in Prospect Heights where we raised all seven of our children and lived for twenty-nine years.

As the kids and I drove along that day, they urged me to share memories linked to each location. I was honored that they were interested.

We hadn’t planned on getting inside any of these special places except at our last stop. I’d written to the current owners of our old farmhouse, warning them not to be alarmed if they saw a crowd congregating in their cul de sac taking pictures – because it would just be us.

When we knocked, Theresa warmly invited us in and led us to a lavish hot chocolate / dessert bar in the kitchen. She encouraged us to tour the house at our leisure and offered to take pictures.

She got a kick out of our reminiscences and was happy to hear how much we loved the house. Then, as we hiked upstairs, God had a sweet surprise waiting for us.

Louisa’s old bedroom, now pink and green with fresh white woodwork, was a far cry from her decorating — glitter-painted walls festooned with hundreds of 4×6 photos. As we complimented our hostess on the room, she asked a question.

“Would you mind looking in the closet? Maybe you can explain something to me.”

Wedging ourselves into the small space, we turned and saw a loopy ballpoint script written on the inside of the door frame:  “A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit.” (Proverbs 15:13)

Louisa caught her breath and said, “Oh my gosh! I wrote that! When I was thirteen!” It was a quote that had impacted a middle-school girl enough to tattoo it in a private place – seventeen years ago.

 

As Louisa took a picture, her eyes brimmed with tears. Theresa watched in wonder… which is when we asked a question of her. “It looks like you painted around this writing to leave it there. How come?”

Her answer was simple. “We thought it was a nice blessing over our house.”

Louisa remembered that year as being up and down, much like the written proverb. But on our tour day, God showed us that his living words had been on her mind, influencing her young life.

Even now, years after we moved away, those words are influencing still.

“Write [God’s words] on the door frames of your houses.” (Deuteronomy 6:9)

Chuckling with God

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Three FriendsWhile spending several days with two good friends in Phoenix, our non-stop chatting made me forget to check-in with Southwest Airlines on the last day. Southwest passengers board in the order of check-in, so that meant I’d be last in line…. and wouldn’t get a window seat. After staying up late each night (3:00 AM on my Eastern Time body clock), I looked forward to leaning against the window for a nap.

Southwest plane

At the airport, I checked in the old-fashioned way, confirming my tail-end boarding position. Maybe it wouldn’t be a full flight, I thought, but as boarding began, we were told it was.

I sat down to wait and decided to simply ask God for a window seat. “Would you save one for me, Father?”

Once on the plane, I slowly made my way down the aisle, looking right and left for God’s gift — but every seat was taken. Then all of a sudden, half way toward the back, I spotted an empty window seat. Two college-age girls occupied the aisle and center seats, but the window was empty.

“Is that one taken?” I said, pointing.

“No, but that’s only for someone willing to open the emergency door. You don’t want to sit there.”

“Actually, I do,” I said.

“But… I don’t think you heard me.” She said. “You would have to open that big door.”

Thinking I must look weaker than I felt, I said, “I’ll chance it.”

The two girls glanced at each other but stood to let me in.

Emergency ExitAfter smiling at them, I sat down, chuckling just loud enough for God to hear. He was probably chuckling too. After buckling my belt, I studied the exit door. It looked complicated, but I knew the safety folder in my seat pocket would explain.

Just as I found the instructions, a flight attendant leaned into our row. “Ma’m.” she said. “Please look up here.” She meant me.

“Ma’m, I think you’re unaware that you’re in a seat linked to an emergency exit door.”

“Yes,” I said. “I know,” holding up the folder. “See? I’m studying how to do it.”

Emergency folder“But would you be able to?” she said. I nodded with confidence, but she looked doubtful.

“Well….” she said, pausing for effect, “I’ll need your verbal affirmation.”

“I can handle it.”

“So is that a yes?”

“Yes.”

 

She shook her head and moved on while I memorized steps 1-2-3 of door-opening technique, trying to set aside my own doubts.

Just then one of the two robust girls sitting next to me pulled out her own copy of the emergency folder…. and I knew she wasn’t planning to rely on any old lady in the event of an emergency. So I put my folder away and didn’t give it another thought.

Our flight passed without incident, and I appreciated not having to nap with my head hanging and bobbing. What I enjoyed even more than my window seat, though, was my private little chuckle with a generous heavenly Father.

“The living God… gives us richly all things to enjoy.” (1 Timothy 6:17)