Category Archives: Aging

One More from Melanie

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In this season of giving, we’ve peeked in on how someone else does it, providing some fresh oomph for all of us to pass along whatever kindnesses we can. Melanie reported, after her birthday was over, that next year she’ll tweak her system to make it more efficient. After all, the number of kindnesses will only grow as the candles on her cake increase. Here’s what she wrote in an email:

At the end of the day I was pretty worn out…next year I’ll have to start giving myself a week to accomplish my list, because it’s not going to get any easier to get through it.  

Kindness..Many of the things were actually just a matter of getting around to my good intentions…notes I meant to write or thank-you’s I meant to say long ago but hadn’t accomplished. It felt good to just hunker down and be intentional (which is the opposite of random, I know) about making sure certain people were feeling loved and appreciated. I learned that it really doesn’t take much time at all, with a little planning, to brighten someone’s day who really needs it.

A few more things I learned… 

Kindness participantKindness starts at home. There are a gazillion things I do that all of us moms and wives do to serve our families, but I’m learning that there’s a big difference in the way I go about it when I have the mindset of, “How can I bless them?” I noticed an absence of resentment and an all-around better attitude when I thought to myself, “I can get this for him,” or “She would like it if…” Thanks, Lord, for the heart change! 

Along those lines, as this becomes a birthday tradition, I may make arrangements so the kids aren’t with me the _whole_ time I’m running around town. It may get easier as they get older, but this year I heard a lot of whining about getting in and out of the car, and it really amounted to a long day with lots of driving around for them. 

I also learned that I’m really awkward when I’m talking to random people. But the look of surprise when they learn they’re getting a free coffee is worth it.

Kindness....And I want to be sure to bless people who don’t get many thank-you’s, like those serving at school or church or cleaning public restrooms.  

And most importantly, I want to make the day less about “random,” which is a little too much about me and “how nice I am.” Instead I want to more purposefully share the love of Christ, because without him, I’m rotten and selfish.

And lastly, I confirmed that I have the most patient, indulgent husband. He drove around in rush hour traffic for me and never complained.  

All in all, best birthday ever. Tradition established. 

Love, Mel

“Remember this…. Whoever sows generously will also reap generously.”                    (2 Corinthians 9:6)

Praising and praying with Mary

I’m praising God for an early Christmas gift: my feeding tube came out today! Thank you so much for the faithful praying all of you did about this!

It’s about time.

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The older I get, the more I think about the future – the distant future. And that always includes heaven. I wonder about meeting Jesus, about the many loved ones who are there, about what life in paradise is like day-to-day. But what will day-to-day mean there?

Scripture tells us heaven will have no night, which means day-to-day will be no more. It’ll just be one long day. Does that mean time will end?

In Revelation we’re shown a picture of souls who have been martyred for their faith, and they’re asking God “how long” before justice will be done? They’re aware that that time hasn’t yet come. His answer to their question also involves time: “Wait a little longer.” *

Clocking inLater we’re told that silence will come to heaven “for about half an hour.” **      Does that hint at the presence of a clock?

We’re also told that the tree of life, from which we’ll all eat, will yield a different fruit each month. Interesting. No more day-to-day but yes on month-to-month?

Maybe time will continue but not in seconds, minutes, and hours as we now know it. Maybe it’ll fly by, or maybe lengthen. One thing for sure is that if time does exist in heaven, it’ll be a positive rather than a negative. We won’t be frustrated by not having enough of it or by having too much, causing it to drag. It will be “perfect timing” all around.

The Bible also gives us a glimpse of how God relates to time:

“Do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day.” (2 Peter 3:8)

1000 years

My friend Fellows has some fascinating thoughts about time in heaven. He writes:

My Dad died 48 years ago. If one day in heaven is 1000 years on earth, then one year on earth is 1.44 seconds in heaven. My Dad has only been in heaven 69 seconds and Nate less than 6 seconds. The Apostle Paul and the 12 disciples only got there the day before yesterday.

It’s not that my Dad has forgotten me; it’s just that he has barely arrived himself. Furthermore, even if I live another 30 years, when I get there, he will say, “Fellows, I just got here myself. I didn’t expect you so soon.”

I like the way Fellows thinks. Based on a biblical mathematical formula, it makes perfect sense. It also explains why we miss our loved ones but they don’t miss us. They don’t have the chance!

Ultimately, I have to let go of my desire to understand this aspect of heaven, adding it to the long list of God’s secrets. But it’s satisfying to know that eventually he’ll explain the whole thing.

All in good time.

“I trust in you, Lord…. My times are in your hands.” (Psalm 31:14-15)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1.  I’m thankful for a quiet day and a long walk with beautiful snowflakes falling.
  2. Pray for wisdom to know what to do about my feeding tube, which is acting up again.

*Rev. 6:10-11

**Rev. 8:1

Happy Birthday, Mary!

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Party timeToday my sister turns 71, and it’s tempting to wish we were back last year at this same time. None of us knew then about the deadly cancer that was just around the corner, and we celebrated her 70th with the assumption her life would continue for many years, maybe even decades. After all, Dad and Mom both lived to 92, so why shouldn’t she?

But this year, short of the Lord’s miraculous intervention, a different scenario is unfolding for Mary. Whatever her future looks like, though, it’s really a future that belongs to God, because decades ago Mary handed over the reins of her life to him. That’s the one-and-only reason she can nod and say, “It’s ok by me, Lord.”

Actually it’s more than just ok. Mary has let God do the choosing for her all the way along (not just with cancer but with everything), so she’s fully on board. If God flat-out gave her a choice, she might prefer to go the distance like Mom and Dad, but at this point all indications are he’s got something else in mind for her.

This seismic shift has been a challenge to accept, and those of us around her have had a harder time with it than she has, proof that she has totally abandoned herself to her heavenly Father’s will.

IMG_4973Mary was a compliant child, a person who loved to please. That character trait has continued through her life, first wanting to please her earthly father, then her heavenly Father. The key has been trusting them both wholeheartedly, sincerely believing that their ideas, first her father’s, then her Father’s, were always the best ones, whether painful or painless. And when we’re sure something is for the best, it’s easier to accept.

Several of Mary and Bervin’s children and grandchildren came to town to make this birthday a very special one with a swimming party, dinner out, gifts, and lots of memory-making.

But as always, Mary’s main concern on her birthday was that they all had a good time.

“The Lord leads with unfailing love and faithfulness all who keep his covenant and obey his demands.” (Psalm 25:10)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. Thanks be to God for a very happy day receiving birthday phone calls and texts from loved ones, and spending time celebrating with family.
  2. Please pray that my energy levels will be high enough to enjoy all the upcoming holiday fun.