Category Archives: Aging

Thank you.

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Those of us who started attending church when we were on the cradle roll are happy to talk about God. We’re usually faithful to pray, and we’re even comfortable with praying out loud if asked. After all, Jesus became our childhood friend as we met him through flannel-graph stories in Sunday school. Talking to him was much like talking to any of our other friends.

FlannelgraphThen we grew older and learned there was more to it than that. We realized God wasn’t on a par with any of our other friends but was unique, superior, someone who merited reverence and awe, and the utmost of respect.

Eventually we were taught that to fear the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and surely approaching God ought to be done as wisely as possible. Did that mean he wanted us to be afraid of him when we prayed? If so, then why did he tell us to “come as little children” and “come boldly to the throne of grace?” Can we come to him that way if we’re afraid?

At the very least, fearing God probably means respecting his authority and power. He’s the ultimate in both categories and can do anything he wants with anything he’s created, which includes us. If we’re on his bad side, he is to be feared indeed, since he will judge all of mankind. He also wants us to revere him as God of gods, holy and perfect.

While I was contemplating what might be the wisest way to approach the Lord, probably making it more complicated than it needed to be, I heard someone pray a wise prayer. Sandy was asked to pray at the conclusion of our women’s Bible study today. We’d had a discussion about true wisdom and fearing God. If I’d been the one praying, I probably would have started by begging God to give us more wisdom, but not Sandy.

ThankfulnessShe started by thanking God for who he is and continued to list reasons all of us were thankful for him. The middle of her prayer was more gratitude, one thing after another, and she concluded with a final series of thank you’s. Her prayer was all about the Lord and nothing about us.

How unusual, I thought, to pray for several minutes without ever asking for anything. It was simply thank you… thank you… thank you.

And it was wise.

“The Lord said… ‘Gather the people to me, that I may let them hear my words, so that they may learn to fear me all the days that they live on the earth, and that they may teach their children so’.” (Deuteronomy 4:10)

Life is for the Living

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photo(1)On Monday of this week Mary endured her last chemo in a series 18 infusions stretching from early-May to mid-October. She is, as she says, “Glad to be done.” Here are her thoughts on this life-altering experience:

When I first learned I had pancreatic cancer last February, I thought I’d be long gone by summer. But here I am, having benefited from a delightful summer and now enjoying the beauty of fall. One thing cancer has taught me is how to fully live in-the-now. God has made hundreds of promises to us, but none guarantees a specific length of days, and though I vaguely knew that before my cancer, now I really get it. Letting go of my future has made me very grateful for today.

Some cancer patients say they feel like a walking time bomb. Others talk about a dark cloud hanging over their heads. My intention is to reject those negatives and find my identity in Christ rather than in cancer statistics or medical opinions.

In my case, surgery and chemo bought me some time, and time is precious. But none of the doctors can say I’m cured, nor have they given me a hope for that. As a matter of fact, the word they’ve used to describe my cancer is “vicious.” So I’m not in denial but am hoping to live somewhere between the extremes of denial and despair. I’m pretty sure that’s where God wants me to be.

Life is for the living, and I want to live each day well. As a result of my cancer, I’m holding tightly to four important principles that I knew before my diagnosis but have experienced in new ways since then. They’ll benefit me for the rest of my life, however long that is:

  1. God’s promises are powerful and true.
  2. God answers prayers.
  3. God provides exactly the strength and endurance needed.
  4. The community of believers is important.

Spending too much time alone isn’t good for any of us, and I’ve learned that the best kind of company is that of encouraging Christians who find their hope in the Lord. If I trust only in myself, my frame of mind quickly spirals downward.

One of my favorite verses is Ephesians 1:18: I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people. I’m thankful God considers me one of his “holy people” and that my inheritance is a glorious one.

Though I should continue making plans, I need to hold them lightly, remembering that life is a series of letting-go’s…. of the calendar, of our possessions, and of our favorite people. Cancer forced me to consider these things up close, and I’m thankful for that.

So, whatever happens from now on, I’m certain God won’t let me die till he says it’s time. And that’s good enough for me.

From the end of the earth I will cry to You, when my heart is overwhelmed; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. (Psalm 61:2)

Come and get me.

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Any of us who’ve lost loved ones to death find our thoughts moving between two different worlds, the here and the hereafter. This back-and-forth thought process includes a pause at a theological stop sign: Christ’s second coming.

According to the calendar of human history, we’re living in that middle ground between Jesus’ first coming and his second, his first as a newborn who grew into our radical Savior, and his second as a Victor in battle.

Once in a while I think, “What if Jesus returned tonight?”

The Second ComingHe promised that when he did come back, it would be to defeat evil and escort Christians to heaven. He actually said, “I’ll take you home with me.” (John 14:2)

I love that he’s implying we’ll feel at home when we get to heaven. It’ll be similar to returning home after an arduous journey with a big “ahhh” of contentment. But I’m not really sure I want it to be tonight, and there’s a good reason: I need more time to do better at the Christian life.

Most of us get only 7 or 8 decades on the earth, and it took me about half of those to get into gear in my walk with the Lord. Much of my early life was bare-minimum believing as I straddled a spiritual fence between obedience and rebellion. Even now in my late 60′s, I should be doing much better.

So, I figure, I need more time to keep trying.

Is Jesus reading this and chuckling? Or is he reading it and saying, “You’ve got the right idea.” Being unsure of the answer is an indication of my spiritual immaturity. Of course I’m longing to be with Jesus and walk into his home, discovering the place he’s prepared for me. But as the Bible so aptly puts it,”Night is coming, when no one can work.” (John 4:9) Time to try harder will eventually end.

My hesitation to head to heaven isn’t because I want to earn more glory-points. It’s about feeling bad over personal sin and hoping to become a better daughter to my heavenly Father. There’s just one nagging thought behind my philosophy of wanting more earthly time. What if my condition as a human being is exactly the factor that’s prohibiting greater success at godly living? What if even the most saintly person among us feels just like I do, no matter how many years she’s had to work on it?

In that case, it would be a really good thing if Jesus just came and got us tonight.

“To the one who does not work but trusts God, who justifies the ungodly, their faith is credited as righteousness.” (Romans 4:5)