Category Archives: Aging

My Father, in Life and Death

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For nearly 30 years my dad owned a successful engineering firm, operating out of a Chicago high rise in the concrete canyons of the Loop. As a kid I visited him often (often with girlfriends in tow), admiring the thick glass double doors in his reception area and his big office overlooking the skyline.

BlueprintsDad’s drafting room resembled a Disney studio with its 200 tilted drawing tables and men perched atop tall stools working on royal-colored blueprints. To him, though, it was just a way to earn a living. After retirement at 70, he didn’t look back and never missed it.

Dad did well for a little boy who started school without a word of English. His Swedish immigrant parents worked hard and expected him to do the same, which he did, finishing school with two degrees from Northwestern University.

Attending a Swedish Free Church in the city, he heard the Gospel as a child and received Christ into his life, never wavering in his commitment. A quiet man, he didn’t dictate his faith but lived it out in front of us for 92 years. As Mom frequently said, “Your father is the most Christ-like man I’ve ever known.”

The WillWhen Dad died, his last will and testament was more like a last will and testimony. I read the legal document through, no small task with its complicated legalese, but two paragraphs jumped off the pages. They had nothing to do with trusts or assets, and were written in simple language I understood:

Article I – I commit my soul into the hands of my Savior in full confidence that, having redeemed it and washed it in His most precious blood, He will present it faultless before my Heavenly Father.

Article IV – It is my hope that the beneficiaries will remember the words of Our Lord who said, “A man’s life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth.” (Luke 12:15) Let them consider themselves as stewards of their possessions, not forgetting to use them for the welfare of others, particularly with respect to bringing the Gospel of Jesus Christ to those in spiritual darkness. By giving both time and money unselfishly, they will discover the truth of Our Lord’s words: “It is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35) and “Whosoever will be chief among you, let him be the servant of all.” (Matthew 20:27)

Dad and MomDad was ready to die, because he had made the main thing the main thing. He’d led a life of quiet sacrifice, serving the poor, giving a hefty percentage of his income to the Lord’s work, and putting himself after everyone else. He’d given much and, as the Bible says will happen to a giving person, he was then given more.

He also left a legacy of harmony in his family, a large group in which there was no fighting, no anger, no bitterness. I remember hundreds of the words he spoke in life but none more vividly than those he left in death. *

“Freely ye have received, freely give.” (Matthew 10:8)

* Re-posted from June, 2011.

Praising and Praying with Mary

Pray about tomorrow’s time at the hospital: for accurate action on the feeding tube pain, for chemo #5, and against the nausea.

I’m thankful for Bervin, the loving father of my children and grandchildren.

 

Us Oldsters

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The writer’s conference I’ve been attending this week is full of stories, and not just the ones all of us hope to write. Each attendee comes with a life-story of her/his own, some with longer chapters than others. As I sat in the back row of the auditorium in tonight’s general session, I realized most of the 150 people there were “of retirement age.” Many, like me, were older still.

Wondering why, I settled on several reasons: (1) younger people are running faster in the rat race of life and aren’t free to attend; (2) small children keep families closer to home; (3) tight budgets prohibit spending on conferences.

WritersBut maybe being older just means there are more stories to tell. After all, we’ve witnessed hun- dreds of answered prayers, weathered lots of life-altering chal- lenges, and experienced God’s rescue again and again. As a result, we’re ready to get our stories “out there” to encourage others. But are we too old?

As we’ve been sitting through classes, meetings, and editor-interviews, we’ve learned that no matter how old we get, God always has new plans for us. Many a would-be author has “launched anew” at a writer’s conference such as this, encouraged by speakers and other writers to share what God has taught them over the years.

Red pencilThat’s not to say it’s easy. When editors mark up our manuscripts with red pens, it can be demoralizing. We get tempted to call it quits and spend the rest of the conference in our rooms.

But if we’re willing to accept criticism as help, and follow through on corrections, we’ve moved one step closer to doing what God wants us to do with what he’s taught us.

Many conferees are out of their comfort zones here, enduring stressful meetings with editors, eating unfamiliar foods, sleeping in stripped-down dorm rooms, and struggling to walk the long distances between buildings (several using canes). But they’re here anyway.

Most of us are getting weary now that we’re at the half way point. Our brains have been stretched, and we’re all talked out. Sleep is short, and new experiences are draining. No matter how old or tired we’ve become, though, when God supplies a new beginning, he provides the energy to complete it. Though the devil keeps whispering in our ears (“You’re too tired, too old, too non-professional…”), we have to close him off and keep going, pursuing what God is calling us to.

We may be “of retirement age,” but we’ll never retire from following God’s lead.

“My life is worth nothing to me unless I use it for finishing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus.” (Acts 20:24)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. I thank the Lord for a slow-paced day in Michigan today.
  2. Please pray against my rising dread over Monday’s chemo. I get nauseous just thinking about it. Pray I’ll get better at taking one day at a time.

The Right Emphasis

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This week I’ve left home to attend a writer’s conference in Wheaton, Illinois. It’s being held at Wheaton College, my alma mater, and being back here is a mix of past, present, and future.

WheatonMuch has changed on campus since I graduated in 1967, but its “bones” remain the same. Two dorms and the off-campus housing of senior year are as they were, and last night I enjoyed a miles-long walk while reminiscing, picking out the rooms I had called home and the places I’d spent so much time. At the end of my walk I sat on a park bench in the center of campus and tried to process it all.

Park BenchPart of looking back is dealing with regrets. Did I make the most of my opportunities? (no) Was I serious enough about studying? (no) Did I separate from best friends to make time for new ones? (no)

But the past is past, and those books are closed. Instead it’s wise to focus on the present, my reason for being on campus this week. This conference is a place to hone the craft of writing, to meet people who love it as much as I do, and to learn of new opportunities. That turns me toward the future.

M & BMost people struggle to find a good balance between what has been, what is, and what is to be. I think of Mary and all that’s happening in her present. Occasionally she wonders if doing something different in her past might have avoided cancer (no). Yet now she faces a worrisome future.

The Bible speaks to our predicament of wondering how much to invest in our personal past, present, and future. The most concise summary is in 1 Corinthians 13:7 where it says that love bears all things [the past]… hopes all things [the future]… and endures all things [the present]. In other words, it’s ok to dip in and out of all 3 time periods, but when we do, we should put the emphasis on love. What does that mean? The phrase just before verse 7 tells us.

It says that love rejoices in the truth. So we can ask ourselves, what’s the real truth about my past? My present? My future? We can choose to love the good in each time frame and rejoice in those truths, letting God take care of all the rest that might bother us.

That goes for me at the Wheaton writer’s conference this week and for Mary, as she faithfully follows through with the treatment at hand.

Jesus said, “Blessed are all who hear the word of God and put it into practice.” (Luke 11:28)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. I’m thankful for a full day with daughter Stina working on wedding plans.
  2. Please continue to pray about my feeding tube pain, which inhibited my walking today.