Category Archives: Children

Who?

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Nate and I were privileged to have 7 children. These 4 sons and 3 daughters are second only to God in the ranking of blessings in our lives. We also lost one child to miscarriage at 11 weeks, but I think often of this 8th child, wondering who he or she was.

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I remember the day we announced to our then-six children that someone new was joining our family.

TreasureI wrote clues and taped them to the underside of each dinner plate in a mini-treasure hunt. After we’d eaten, they read them, oldest to youngest, ending with the news of baby-treasure.

I believe this tiny baby, less than 2” long at the time of his or her death, was already as fully a person as our other 7. The hair and eye color had been established, along with his or her personality and temperament. The DNA was complete, and by God’s breath, an eternal soul had, I believe, been placed within him or her.

Some people would find those statements ludicrous, but knowing God as I do and believing his Word to be an accurate representation of who he is, I know they’re true. One day I’ll receive answers to my questions about #8 and will, beyond that, get to have a vibrant relationship with him or her. It’s a lovely, satisfying thought.

I’ve always been impressed with how different each of our children is from the others, despite being members of the same family. They’re all Nymans, sharing a certain family resemblance, but as in every family, no two are alike, a credit to the Lord’s bottomless creativity. As each one came along, my question for God was always, “Who else might be coming?”

Whoever he wanted to send, we wanted to meet. And get to know.

10 week feet

Maybe that’s why my thoughts of #8 are sometimes frustrating. I know virtually nothing about this person other than that he or she was a Nyman due to be born in late October, 1989. I’ve missed him or her for 23 years. But God’s choice was that we not parent this one, and I trust him enough to know his reasons were good ones.

Besides, he hasn’t completely eliminated my relationship with #8, only postponed it for a while. For Nate that postponement has ended, and sometimes I picture Jesus introducing the two of them. Although God has told us our heavenly relationships won’t be parent-child or husband-wife, he has also let us know we’ll share a depth of relationship with one another that will be more meaningful than anything earthly life has to offer.

And now, as the next generation is coming forth, I’m thrilled to see God’s continuing handiwork as he creates one unique individual after another, each one a wonder.

“You, our Lord and God… created all things, and by your will they existed and were created.” (Revelation 4:11)

How ’bout now?

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As a mother of young children, I was never a consistent disciplinarian. Having had a mom whose M.O. was to “let the kids have fun,” I didn’t know how to do it, and besides, being the bad guy was hard work. So I schlepped along, hit-and-miss, and it’s only God’s grace that brought my children through.

Jesus was never a parent, but we get glimpses of his parenting skills throughout the Gospels. I love to read how he got frustrated with his disciple-children once in a while, because all parents have those same exasperating moments.

Kids know in their hearts that parents have their best interests in mind when they set the rules, but a desire to “do their own thing” is often stronger than the will to comply. I saw a recent example of that in my granddaughter Skylar:

Pep!

This energetic, creative little girl is, at 4½, something of an expert on family relations. Last week when we were visiting, the whole family was working toward a birthday dinner for her little sister, Autumn. Company was coming at 5:00, and there was much to do. Linnea called to Skylar, asking if she’d please come into the kitchen to help her.

Caring for pets

Skylar’s reply was interesting. “Mommy, I’d love to help you a whole bunch, but I first have to deal with one of my pets who is having a birthday party tonight also.”

Her comment reminded me of the Bible story where 3 men expressed an interest in joining the ranks of disciples following Jesus. Their words said they were all-in, “a whole bunch,” but the excuses they gave as to why they couldn’t do it right-this-minute fell flat with Jesus.

These unnamed men had no concept of what they were about to give up by making excuses. They believed Jesus was their wondrous Messiah, but incredibly, after this conversation with the Son of God, they chose to go their own way.

Jesus did, too.

I shake my head and think, “They could have had one-on-one teaching from the Master! They could have watched his every move, listened to every conversation, gleaned how righteous living worked. They could have followed him all the way to the cross, to the Garden Tomb, and even to Resurrection Day! By making excuses, they forfeited it all.”

But am I any better? Hasn’t God asked me to do this or that when I’ve said, “Good idea, Lord. I’ll definitely get around to that somewhere along the way.” When I respond in that maybe-later way, do these God-structured opportunities evaporate? Does he come back later? Or does he go and ask a more obedient “child?”

What treasured opportunities have I forfeited?

Skylar didn’t get away with her bogus excuse, since Linnea and Adam are much better at disciplinary follow-through than I ever was. But as for Jesus, I have a hunch he usually leaves it up to us.

“Yes, Lord, I will follow you, but first let me say good-bye to my family.” (Luke 9:61)

Homebodies

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Some people are energized by the thought of traveling the globe, loving adventure, change, unusual food, and new friends. Then there’s the rest of us.

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A homebody through and through, I find traveling stressful, but add an infant, and the challenge looms large. Although Emerald is a model baby, she, too, has her limits, and boarding a plane at 7:00 pm last night was a plan to which she objected.

As she screamed full-tilt midway through our flight from Orlando to Chiccago, we apologized to nearby passengers, but 4 month old babies don’t “get” bribery, and delayed gratification doesn’t exist. She tested our limits before finally falling into an exhausted, twitchy sleep. By that time we were twitchy, too. Birgitta said, “Was that 4 minutes or 14? It seemed like an eternity.”

Agreed.

Getting revved up

Little babies love “bland.” They do best following a simple, repeated routine at home with the same sights, smells, people, and procedures each day. I can relate. But for babies and adults alike, if we want to spend time with the people we love and arrive at the destinations where they are, traveling is a must.

Something similar happens in the spiritual realm. From birth to death, all of us are travelers, like it or not. Each day pushes (or drags) us forward, which includes squaring off with new experiences on a steady basis. We can go with hissy-fits as Emerald did last night, or we can move with a sense of excitement for one reason: it’s God who has set the itinerary.

Even knowing that, though, for some of us it’s still difficult. Stops along the way can be scary or painful, and it’s easier to snuggle into the familiar, which doesn’t involve taking chances or flirting with failure. But the pivot-point of signing on to follow God is that he’s God, the best of all travel guides.

To blindly follow anyone else would be foolish, but because the person asking us to trust his sense of direction and choice of destination is the All-knowing One, we can travel with him despite not having a complete understanding of where we’re going or what will happen when we get there.

Emerald’s screaming didn’t get her off last night’s flight, but today she’s been her usual agreeable self and is, I believe, aware of being back home in familiar surroundings.

It encourages me to know God has plans for all of us to stop traveling one day and become homebodies, living together with him in the place he’s currently making ready for us. Just as Birgitta and I knew that Emerald’s destination last night was the home she loves, God sees our future home and is sure we’ll love that one, too.

So, despite the uncertainties of his itinerary, I do want to travel this life partnered with God, And I’m going to make a real effort not to have too many hissy-fits along the way.

“The Lord keeps watch over you as you come and go, both now and forever.” (Psalm 121:8)