Glad to see you!

Posted on March 3, 2013 by Margaret

Put a dog in front of a mirror and he has no interest in looking at himself. But put a 4 month old baby there, and she lights up with excitement.

Emerald can’t rejoice enough at her reflected duplicate. Somehow at this early age she’s figured out that the face in the mirror will change in response to her smile. She’ll grin and giggle at her grinning, giggling reflection until we get tired of holding her up to the mirror.

This charming phenomenon seems to be universal with babies. They’re social beings from the very beginning, genuinely appreciating the responsive expressions of others. There’s only one source for this: the Creator himself. As he “knits them together in their mothers’ wombs” (Psalm 139:13), part of what he does is install a people-oriented piece that causes babies to relate to other faces.

Emerald has the sense to know that if you smile at someone, they’ll smile back at you. Daily she tests it in the mirror, and it works 100% of the time. The same thing happens when she smiles at us. We can’t help but smile back at her.

Why is that? Scripture gives us the answer: “A cheerful look brings joy to the heart.” (Proverbs 15:30) God wired each of us to respond to what we see. And if I would scowl at Emerald, she wouldn’t smile back but might look puzzled or even turn her lower lip down and start to cry.

God watches us closely, and that includes our facial expressions. He’s made our features unique, and the way we use them to express ourselves is probably of interest to him. Surely he’s pleased when we give smiles and “cheerful looks” to others, since it brings them joy as Proverbs says. And beyond all doubt he’s gratified when we turn toward him with a pleasant expression.

But we should check ourselves on that. As we approach Bible reading or church attendance or a prayer time, do we do it because we feel we should? Or because we feel guilty when we don’t? Or do we do it with joy, looking toward the Lord with an expectant smile? Our expressions reflect what’s in our hearts, and the question that should weigh heavily on all of us is, “What will God reflect back to me if I look toward him with dreary obligation or a sense of false guilt?”

Scripture tells us that just as Jesus was a reflection of his Father, we’re to reflect Jesus, not just in facial expressions but in what we do, where we go, who we’re with, what we wear, what we eat, what we think… all of it.

If we can learn to do that, we can be sure he’ll smile back at us.

“Just as water mirrors your face, so your face mirrors your heart.” (Proverbs 27:19)

It’s too hard…

Posted on February 24, 2013 by Margaret

Motherhood is exhausting, the most difficult job on earth. It’s a massive responsibility, it’s emotionally draining, and it’s around-the-clock.

No young woman can properly prepare for what her own motherhood will be like. She can read books, ask veteran moms, babysit for other people’s children, and make detailed preparations while she’s pregnant. But when the baby actually arrives, she’s in for an incredible shock. Surrendering virtually all of her prior freedoms isn’t easy, and sometimes she sheds tears over the many sacrifices her new role forces her to make.

“Is it too much to ask for a single night’s sleep?” she says.

The answer is yes.

But what about the babies being mothered? Women sometimes view them as tiny dictators who rule without mercy, but in reality babyhood isn’t easy either. For example, our little Emerald is in the early stages of teething. She drools like a waterfall and continually gnaws on her pudgy fists, biting down hard with her toothless gums.

Every so often, while in a good mood and playing happily with her rattles, she cries out in pain. That’s because her baby incisors are slowly cutting their way through her gums, forcing a path where none exists. And it hurts! So as her mom endures the hard work of parenting, she’s enduring, too.

Most of us find it difficult to see a situation from another’s point of view. We look from the outside and make the best analysis we can, but without experiencing it ourselves, we can’t really know. Fathers can’t be mothers, which sometimes frustrates the mothers. But mothers can’t be fathers, either, and aren’t able to fully understand the emotions and stresses of that role.

Jesus was (and is) a pro at analyzing the needs of others. That’s because he willingly dropped from royal status to commoner, a supernatural downgrade beyond our understanding. When we talk about freedoms being taken away, he forfeited the most. And Scripture lets us know the reason: to become one of us.

He stepped inside the experience of overworked mothers, teething babies, burdened fathers, and all the rest. And because of that, he’s the one exception to the general truth that no one fully understands someone else’s plight. Actually, he does.

So when young mothers feel no one knows how thoroughly spent they are, they should know that Jesus does. All of us can be confident he’s “on the inside” of our struggles and pressures, since he can accurately say, “I’ve been there. I know exactly how you feel.”

And as soon as little Emerald can say the word Jesus (which will be right after she gets her first teeth), we’ll tell her all about him.

Jesus… “understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.” (Hebrews 4:15-16)

True Love

Posted on February 14, 2013 by Margaret

Today is Valentine’s Day, and despite the fact that Birgitta and I live in an all-female household, l-o-v-e is still the predominant sentiment on this day. But then, that’s true of all the days since little Emerald arrived.

Not that Birgitta and I don’t share a loving relationship. We do. But ever since last October when Emerald was born, smiles and laughter have been extra-bountiful. The baby’s gurgles often morph into our giggles, and her animated face finds us running for cameras.

When Birgitta was pregnant, I wasn’t sure if she would “take” to motherhood. Although some of her siblings have been baby-people from the get-go, she wasn’t one of them. But after Emerald’s birth, God flipped a switch of some sort within her, causing new feelings of love to sprout and quickly take root in her heart. From my vantage point, it’s been delightful to watch.

Scripture flat-out tells us that God is love (1 John 4:8), and I believe he’s the initiator of all mother-love, including Birgitta’s burst of love for Emerald. Not that having a baby hasn’t made her life much more work and a lot less play.

Going out socially is rare, and when Birgitta goes, Emerald goes, too. In every way (except attending her college classes) she is partnered with her daughter. But even with such round-the-clock baby demands, after being gone at school she’ll walk in the door and make a beeline for Emerald. “I missed you!”

If God hadn’t infused Birgitta with this overpowering love for her baby, it would have been difficult for her to summon it up on her own. The fact that he planted it there (and in virtually every mother) is an endowment of incalculable value. It goes against human logic to passionately love someone who has taken away all your privacy, your peace, your sleep, your social life, your free time and every other freedom you used to have. Yet that’s what I see happening in front of me daily.

God is, indeed, the initiator and ultimate celebrator of love, and thus of Valentine’s Day. After all, he loved us before we loved him, but that’s not the half of it. He loved us even before we existed, a concept we can’t entirely understand but are very happy to accept, and no matter what we do or don’t do, his love doesn’t fluctuate.