Comfort Zone

Everybody needs comforting now and then. I think back to each of my children and remember how they consoled themselves with pacifiers, or a thumb, a special blanket, a stuffed animal.

Hans attached himself to a pale blue flannel blanket edged in satin, the perfect wrap for a fall baby. When he outgrew the need, I packed it away, a little worse for wear but still a serviceable blanket.

Then, in the blink of an eye, Hans was a daddy with his own comfort-seeking little ones. I passed along the blanket, and in my recent visit to England, got to see what happened to it. Two year old Thomas has bonded with it and lovingly named it MipMip.

The satin is long gone, and he’s literally loved it to pieces. (Think shreds.)

When Katy realized it was gradually disappearing, she took the larger part of it to her mum for creative reinforcement. Sarah used pieces of an old blue nightie to strengthen MipMip, cutting the last of it in two chunks, one to comfort and one to wash.

Whenever Thomas needs soothing, he calls for MipMip. At bedtime, it’s MipMip he cuddles. If life gets unfair, MipMip is the solution. He’s consistent in his devotion and trusts in his chosen comforter.

If only grown-up tensions could be as easily assuaged. Interestingly, though, when we call on God to comfort us, he always knows exactly how to deliver what we need. Maybe that’s why the Bible is such a big book, inviting us to thumb through its many pages to find relief there.

One of its most familiar passages, Psalm 23, describes a strange kind of comfort: “Your rod [Father], and your staff, they comfort me.” (v. 4) How can a rod and staff bring comfort? In other places in Scripture, a “rod” represents discipline: “Spare the rod and spoil the child.” But can discipline comfort?

I remember a “Little House” episode in which one of the young boys lied and cheated in school, secretly suffering emotionally afterwards. When he was finally exposed, his father said he’d have to punish him “with the strap” (i.e. rod). The boy said, “That’s ok. It’ll make me feel better.” We get that. Paying a proper price sets things right.

But what about a staff? A shepherd uses the crook at the end of it to pull wayward sheep back to him, just as God sometimes abruptly tugs us the same way. Being pulled that way doesn’t always feel good, but to be reunited with him brings comfort.

So, comfort comes in many forms, and of course Thomas’ MipMip is one of them. It’s important to note that if the larger chunks of his blanket can’t be located, one of the tiny shreds works almost as well. Thankfully, though, the Lord never skimps on comfort. He gives it in abundance:

“As we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too.” (2 Corinthians 1:5)

I want to know you.

It’s been a great pleasure this week to catch up with my 3 British grandchildren and see the progress they’ve made since I last saw them 7 months ago. Three year old Nicholas is closing in on 4, and the twins, Thomas and Evelyn, have grown to 2½. Vocabulary has increased dramatically for all of them, and Evelyn in particular can chat up an adult till the adult runs out of words.

Raising children is a steady source of God-reminders to parents and grandparents as we get to know each youngster in detail. They’ve all been God-wired with their own opinions and have entered the world with specific likes and dislikes. Looking at a freshly-born 8 pound lump of helpless humanity, that’s difficult to believe.

But wise parents will make a steady project of studying their children, learning their natural leanings and then offering them repeated opportunities to try them out. But do we ever stop learning new things about our offspring, even into their adulthood?

Last weekend I discovered something new about my 29 year-old fifth-born, Hans: he can preach. He did an excellent job delivering a sermon  from an assigned text and made 3 points, each one easy to remember: (1) Believe Jesus, not you; (2) Believe Jesus, not the world; (3) Believe Jesus, not Satan. He pulled new insights from the scriptural story of “The Rich Young Ruler,” coaxing listeners toward the heart of Jesus and sharing from his own heart, too.

Hans isn’t a preacher. He’s never had aspirations to be a reverend but was asked to give this Sunday morning sermon and agreed. I know he was blessed during his extensive preparation, and as his mother (and one of his hearers), I was moved.

When I was growing up, Mom used to quote a short Bible verse from the book of 3 John: “I have no greater joy than to know that my children walk in truth.” (1:4) Since she believed Jesus was truth, she wanted to steadily let us know her greatest desire was that we’d all choose to follow him through life. Listening to my grown son explain how to do this and why it’s the only good life-choice caused my heart to pound with joy.

We parents love to see our children “turn out” well. We’re especially proud when they make sensible choices, perform admirably, win awards, or earn degrees. But when they elevate Jesus Christ to first place in their lives, nothing could get better than that.

“I, [wisdom], love those who love me, and those who seek me diligently find me. My fruit is better than gold, even fine gold, and my yield than choice silver.  I walk in the way of righteousness.” (Proverbs 8:17-20)

Team Gran, England

Last week the other grandmother of my/our three British grands and I conducted our 4th annual “Team Gran” day together. We marveled at the progress of our shared little ones since we were last together with them, and delighted in their company for a day while enjoying a rich friendship with each other. The 4000 miles between our two homes always seem to melt away at these rare but meaningful get-togethers, and as co-grandmas we have no trouble picking up where we left off many months before.

So on Friday, Sarah (“Dandy”) and I (“Mee Mee”) left Mummy-Katy behind and piled into Sarah’s car for a day of frolicking with Nicholas, Evelyn, and Thomas. Our adventure was slightly complicated by a need to stay on task with toilet training the 2 year olds, but we managed 10 hours with only 2 accidents, not bad for a couple of women whose toilet training skills had rusted-out decades before.

The first stop on our adventure was the home of Sarah’s friend Alison, who lives in a charming 200 year old stone cottage surrounded by rolling hills, grazing sheep, a river, and a waterfall. We hiked through a lush pasture, stepping around sheep poo-poo, telling the children not to obsess about the piles, since they weren’t as bad as people-poo-poo.

But then, of course, we had to promptly deal with people-poo-poo, pursuing potty training every 15 minutes. Thomas and Evelyn knew no shame at our open-air stops and gladly would have told passers-by about their latest productions, had anyone asked.

Later at Dandy’s house, between moments of focus on bodily functions, she and I played with the children non-stop: storytelling and reading, cars and trucks, hide and seek, soldiers and dollies. We threw ourselves into it all, singing endless songs, serving and cleaning up meals, working through bath time, and then, much to our pleasure, ending up in Sarah’s back yard “Peace and Quiet Garden.”

At the end of the day, we concluded that playing is hard work!

But the Lord energized us to our undertaking, and isn’t that the way it always is? God presents something to us that he’d like us to do, and we often respond with objections, because we feel unprepared, unequipped, or unenthusiastic. But if we’re willing to cooperate with whatever he’s asked, we find that before we begin, he has somehow gotten us prepared, equipped, and excited.

So we plow ahead and do the best we can, and in God’s hands, that’s always good enough. As a matter of fact, even our meager efforts result in something extraordinary when placed in his able care.

Though our “Team Gran” day was jam-packed with action, we did end up in a place of “Peace and Quiet” …albeit with our potties. And a Team Gran day with “Dandy” turned out to be fine and dandy indeed.

“God… will provide and increase your resources and then produce a great harvest of generosity in you.” (2 Corinthians 9:10)