Category Archives: Children

Potty Party

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Who knew potty training could be fun? I have only fuzzy memories of training our 7 but got a fresh chance to participate this week. Before I came to the UK, my daughter-in-law Katy asked me whether or not I’d be up for co-potty-training when I got there. By “co” I mean two of us and two of them. It sounded like a potty party to me, so I signed on.

Katy and my British grands met me at the Manchester airport in northern England: 3 year old Nicholas and 2 year old twins, Thomas and Evelyn. As we drove toward their home, Katy said, “The twins are wearing their last nappies. I thought we’d jump right in!”

As always, Katy was well prepared. In the kitchen were two newly-purchased blue and pink potties, and a big box of supplies: wipes, baggies, disinfectant sprays for both tile and carpet, TP, a timer, stacks of dry undies, and clean trousers. My part was to bring the rewards from America: tiny Smarties candies.

Katy explained the process to Evelyn and Thomas while I listened in, and we handed them pairs of dry undies and put them on their potties for a trial run. It ended in a piece of candy for Thomas and tears for Evelyn who “couldn’t make it come.” But when the timer buzzed every 15 minutes and Katy sang out, “Who wants to earn another sweetie?” it didn’t take long for them to run for the potties.

As they produced appropriately, we applauded and cheered enthusiastically. By day six we were 90% and even dry after naps. Running errands was a challenge with its potty-packing preparations and rapid runs for public bathrooms, but day by day the new habit was established and success became the norm.

After all, bribery works.

Most of us need incentives to push through obstacles that stand between us and our goals, and a few perks along the way make it more likely we’ll get there. Nothing’s wrong with rewards for little steps well taken and a job well done.

God often works with us this same way, not with “sweeties” but with sweet blessings as we trudge through tough times. He periodically calls to us just as we called to the twins. “Come on, let’s try again!” He suggests we quash a bad habit or mend a relationship, help a needy friend or say yes to a service opportunity. “If you’ll just try, I’ll cheer you on and be ready with a reward,” he says. Then we can either stop trying, or take him up on his offer.

As for the cheering at our potty party, the twins eventually began tending to their needs on their own. We put away the timer, along with everything else except the candy. Eventually, though, they won’t even need that.

“Anyone who comes to [God] must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.” (Hebrews 11:6)

Balancing Act

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My grandson Micah was recently gifted with something I’d never seen before: a balancing bike. It resembles a small two-wheeler but has no pedals and relies on push-power to move.

Although Micah is only two, he took to it immediately and has learned to sail down the length of his driveway without taking a tumble. He shoves off, then lifts his feet, and whoosh, down he goes, managing the tricky art of balancing. At some point he’ll want a traditional bike with pedal-power, but for now he and his wheels are inseparable.

Parents find themselves coaching their young children to learn several other balance-related maneuvers too, the first of which is learning to sit up at about 6 months. After that it’s walking, pumping a swing, rollerblading, ice skating, and others, all needing balancing expertise.

Certain kids take to balancing naturally (like Micah) while others need prolonged assistance and encouragement. After children master the physical art of balancing (say, their pre-teen years), they’re ready for the much harder task of balancing their lives. For some, even that comes easily, but the rest of us struggle, wobbling or even crashing completely once in a while.

And that’s where God comes in.

Children don’t need him to hold the seat of a two-wheeler or run alongside, because he’s given that assignment to parents. His balance-assistance is for grown-ups, since we’re the ones so often doing it poorly by ourselves.

Years ago The Tonight Show’s host, Johnny Carson, invited a plate-spinning comedian to perform one of those chaotic demonstrations we all love, but this performer was absolutely the best. He kept a dozen plates spinning atop wiggly sticks while balancing three more on his forehead, nose, and chin.

Surely he’d had a triple-espresso before coming on stage. His body was a blur as he leapt back and forth along the sticks, rescuing some just seconds before they threatened to crash to the floor. He was a balancing aficionado.

Of course this isn’t what God means when he asks us to bring balance to our lives. But plate-spinning mania is often the way we feel day-to-day while trying to meet our varied commitments. So what do we do?

We follow Micah’s example, tackling one balancing act at a time. If he’d started with a balancing bike, a pedal bike, and a mountain bike all at once, he’d have been in for some nasty road rash. The same goes for spinning plates. Few is preferable to frenetic, and with the first broken plate, back-pedaling is our only solution.

All of us have limits on what we can accomplish, limited time, energy, money, motivation, skills. But if we let God hand us exactly what he wants us to balance, he’ll never let us tip out of balance. After that, if we add any “plates” against his advice, it won’t be long before we’ll need a broom, a dust pan, and a revised balancing-plan from the Lord.

“Letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace.” (Romans 8:6)

Time-Out

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Watching sports on TV has never been an interest of mine, probably because I didn’t take time to learn the rules. I do remember watching the Chicago Blackhawks play hockey and won’t soon forget the fight I saw between two players. A referee quickly intervened, and the result was an official time-out for one of the players. I suppose that’s the NHL’s version of counting to 10, but no one wants to be forced to sit quietly while everyone else is still in the game.

Little children can relate. When mommy says, “Stop that behavior or you’ll have to have a time-out,” a two year old knows she means business. If he continues to disobey, he ends up in the time-out chair. During this confinement, toddlers and hockey players agree: two minutes is an eternity!

Little Jaxon, grandson of my friend Lois, recently found himself in a time-out. Although he cooperated with his sentence, a photo record (taken via Skype) depicts his struggle to wait out the two minutes.

Hockey players, children, and all of us share the frustration of forced time-outs, but believe it or not, God makes good use of them. He doesn’t always use them as discipline (toddler-style) or punishment (hockey-style) but often makes us sit still so he can work at setting up good plans for us. Unfortunately, none of his time-outs fit into two minutes. They’ve been known to last for weeks, months, or even years.

When that happens, it helps if we try to see things from God’s perspective. A seemingly interminable time-out is but a nano-second to him. He works long-range, is a God for the long-haul, and concerns himself with both the long-and-short of our lives.

When we find ourselves in time-out, we can be content if we’ll recognize that leaving too soon means stepping out from under God’s protective guidance about whatever it is we “just can’t wait” for.

We can prematurely terminate our time-out for something as trivial as an impulsive purchase or as serious as choosing the wrong marriage partner. Though staying in the wait-zone longer than two minutes is distasteful, moving forward when all indications are to “stay put” is like eating a beautiful steak before it’s been cooked.

But that’s not all.

When little Jaxon had completed his two minutes, he was given the pleasure of his mommy’s long-awaited time-in, accompanied by a hug and kiss of approval and love. If we bolt out ahead of God, we not only miss out on his plans, we lose the feel-good approval that comes when we hear, “Now is the time.”

When we let him decide our wait is over, all sorts of lovely surprises happen. That’s because while we were sitting in time-out, he was busy setting up the invisible specifics. And when he says, “Time-in!” we can be sure that whatever follows next will be worth the wait.

“The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride. Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit.” (Ecclesiastes 7:8-9)