Category Archives: Children

Sneak Peek #25

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Excerpt from THRIVE AND SURVIVE, ZERO TO FIVE

How well I recall the morning I got an “F” in mothering. Still in my pajamas, I had gathered my Bible, notebook, pen, and mug of coffee. Tiptoeing past the stairs toward the living room, eager to eat a spiritual breakfast, I glanced up to see our toddler sitting on the top step . . . already! When he saw me come around the corner, his face lit up, and he greeted me in his usual cheery fashion. “Mama!”

In a split second my face fell, going from neutral to angry, exactly as our eyes met. Thinking only of myself, I let out a low moan. This child had robbed me of something valuable. My treasure had been blown out of the room by the cold wind of an interruption I was having trouble accepting. And there the two of us froze, a chasm of disconnect between us.

“Why are you out of bed so early?” I said with irritation, knowing this was a question no toddler could answer. Still caught up with my own agenda, it took a minute for my displeasure to calm. I turned toward the kitchen to put away my Bible, notebook, and pen, while my little guy bounced down the steps on his bottom, eager to put his arms around me.

Thankfully God convicted me quickly, and we made up in a hurry. I tried to backpedal my poor performance, but I felt bad then and still do today, more than forty years later. But motherhood doesn’t come with do-overs. I squandered the chance to plant a good seed and planted a weed instead.

SIDEBAR: WEED WISDOM

  • Weeds are a fact of life.
  • Pull weeds while they’re still small.
  • Weeds are stronger than tender plants.
  • Don’t mistake weeds for good plants.
  • Unpulled weeds will destroy a garden.

Sneak Peek #24

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Excerpt from THRIVE AND SURVIVE, ZERO TO FIVE

I (Mary) learned about eating issues with one-year-old Marta. As a baby, then a toddler, she was a picky eater to the max. She didn’t have an ounce of fat on her, because she refused to eat 90 percent of whatever I cooked. Though I tried every trick in the book to make food appealing to her, she just wouldn’t eat. Gut instinct told me it would be wrong to discipline her for lack of an appetite, especially since she was a sweet, compliant child in every other respect. But I didn’t know what to do.

Every Saturday morning I made Swedish pancakes for our family, and little Marta was willing to eat one of those. So I decided to make it my mission to produce Swedish pancakes every day of the week, just for her—breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Because she needed calories, I substituted cream for the milk and went heavy on the eggs. It didn’t bother me that she wanted to dip her pancakes into a puddle of syrup. Anything to get her to eat.

She ate pancakes every day during those many months, and eventually she began tasting other things too. Had I punished her for refusing to eat, I don’t believe it would have helped in any way. It certainly would have made her dread family mealtimes and probably would have damaged our relationship. Today Marta is a healthy twenty-six-year-old with a normal appetite. And though she eats virtually all foods, she has a special fondness for Swedish pancakes.

SIDEBAR:

HOW NOT TO HAVE WHINE WITH EVERY MEAL

  • Set attainable goals for meals.
  • Serve foods your child likes.
  • Dish up child-size portions.
  • Keep mealtimes short and sweet.
  • Encourage new foods without forcing.
  • Praise a willingness to try new foods.
  • Expect childlike behavior from your child.
  • Never allow a whiner to ruin mealtime.

Sneak Peek #23

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Excerpt from THRIVE AND SURVIVE, ZERO TO FIVE

Twenty-one years of mothering amounts to 8,760 hours. We’re in a marathon, not a sprint, parenting one hour at a time. Once we stop straining to figure out when our running will end, we can calm down enough to enjoy (or deal with) the moment. We can manage the race like a distance runner, not bolting at top speed unnecessarily but setting a comfortable pace for the long haul. Steady perseverance will get both mom and child where they want to go.

The Bible speaks about this in Isaiah 28:10 kjv: “For precept must be upon precept, precept upon precept; line upon line, line upon line; here a little, and there a little.” We don’t think there’s any other place in the Bible where an instruction is double repeated like that. As a matter of fact, this advice is so important that the Lord repeats it three verses later in exactly the same way, amounting to a quadruple impact.

Isn’t this a great description of mothering? A precept is only one statement; a line smaller yet; a little bit here, a little more there. That’s what mothers are called to do, and by the time children reach adulthood, much has been written on their hearts and accomplished in their lives.

Know this from the beginning, however: even though children grow up, mothering doesn’t end. When your newborn is placed in your arms, her whole world is you. As the old proverb says, “To the world you might be one person, but to one person, you are the world.”

As you move through the days and gradually the years with that child, the relationship will change. While her life broadens, you’ll become a smaller part of her world and be only one of many influencers. Even in the distant future, though, when one day you’re on your deathbed, you’ll continue to be her mother, hopefully still taking advantage of the chance to put precept upon precept, line upon line.

 

SIDEBAR:

TEACHING TACTICS OF THE MASTER

  • Love your pupils.
  • Accept them as they are.
  • Look them in the eye.
  • Keep lessons short.
  • Be gentle.
  • Tell stories.
  • Use visual aids.
  • Pray for your students.