Category Archives: Children

One Year Without Mary

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September 24, 2017

One year ago today, Mary left us, although that isn’t the accurate way to say it. She didn’t willfully leave us but allowed her departure to be orchestrated by God.

Trusting God.Scripture says Jesus has the key to death (Revelation 1:18) and that whatever he opens, no one can close. (Revelation 3:7) A year ago he opened death’s door for Mary, and her spirit walked willingly through it, right into eternal pleasure. It was God’s perfect plan for her.

That’s the encouraging thing about a loved one’s passing. If we, like Mary, have loved and followed Jesus in our earthly lives, death’s door is simply a passageway to a glorious new life we can’t possible picture now.

Knowing that, however, doesn’t ease the sorrow in the rest of us. Throughout this day, our minds have been filled with Mary – sweet remembrances and the thousand-and-one-ways we each miss her.

Bervin initiated a time of sharing tonight, to take place at the beach Mary loved so much. A bunch of us gathered to talk and let our eyes freely fill with tears, if need be. From a wide circle of beach chairs, we shared bits and pieces of who Mary was to each of us by way of things we hold dear about her now – memories from silly to serious.

Bervin prays

Bervin coaxed Scripture from us by asking if anyone could recall Bible passages that Mom/Grandma had taught them. As 7 young children played in the middle of our circle, the verses came forth. And in reciting those, we remembered how much Mary loved the Word of God.

It’s mindboggling to realize she is now loving THE Word, face-to-face. (John 1:1) And as one of her children said tonight, “She’s also got all the answers to all the questions the rest of us are still asking.”

SunsetLater, as we warmed hot dogs over our fire on a perfect weather-evening, the sun set over Lake Michigan. And we concluded that none of us knows who will next join Mary or when that might be.

But if she had walked up to our circle on the beach tonight with a bit of advice from her life “on the other side,” she probably would have said something like this: “Trust God with your life… and death. Study your Bibles. And be sure you say these words to others often: I love you.

“Because after all, you never know…”

On the beach“The way of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn, which shines ever brighter until the full light of day.” (Proverbs 4:18)

Newlywed Love (#79)

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July 19-25, 1970

Nate and I were happy to spend some weekend time washing and waxing our sleek, black Mustang with the terrible “bad breath” — hopeful that its handsome appearance would sell it quickly. It was enjoyable working together on a project that didn’t involve mental strain, since it seemed like all we ever did was study.

Mustang grill

I felt overloaded with student teaching, seminars, and homework, but once Nate got deep into his law classes, there was no comparison as to who was busiest. He won, hands down.

Mom's letterAfter we finished the car, I opened a long letter from Mom, thanking us for their time in Champaign. She also wrote about Mary and Bervin getting a dog, a Cocker Spaniel. Rusty and Baron were becoming friends, and Mom wrote two paragraphs describing their antics.

As I read the letter, a new thought came. Did they really want to keep Baron for us, or were they just doing it as a sacrificial favor? Were we taking advantage of them by asking them to keep him?

Mom wrote, The Baron is A-OK, tearing up a box right now in the basement here. He brightens our lives.

But I pictured Mom, on her hands and knees, cleaning up shredded cardboard… and I had my doubts. I knew she worried about Baron running off when they were outside and had no good answer for what they would do with him if they went on vacation.

And all of a sudden I began to cry. Nate came running and put his arms around me. “What’s the matter?”

Tuckered out Baron“I feel guilty that Mom and Dad have to keep our dog. They have to feed and house him, watch over him, and she just wrote that they took him in for his first round of puppy shots. We should be doing that.”

“Yes, but your mother really does love him – genuinely.”

“I know, but it isn’t just that.” And through tears I began remembering aloud all the ways my parents had helped us – going along with our rushed wedding plans, accepting Nate with enthusiasm, providing furniture, rugs, virtually everything in our apartment.

My familyThey had loaned us money, which moved my thoughts back to the cost of my college education… and so much more. I thought of my childhood as I grew up in an atmosphere of listening and love. Best of all, they had introduced me to Jesus Christ from the beginning, modeling lives committed to him.

As I sat with Mom’s letter in my lap and Nate’s arms around me, I sobbed and sobbed, overwhelmed with how much I’d been given and wondering if I had taken these gifts for granted. Did they know how much I appreciated everything? Had I thanked them enough?

Nate suggested I put all my thoughts into a long letter. “It’ll make you feel better to write it, and they’ll love receiving it.”

He was right, and I began. But even as I penned page after page of gratitude, my thoughts were on the Baron-dilemma.

“If you honor your father and mother, things will go well for you.” (Ephesians 6:3)

Newlywed Love (#71)

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June 22-26, 1970

After returning to Champaign from Wilmette and unloading the rental van well after midnight, Monday morning came with a bang. Nate returned to the Union parking lot, hoping for a day job, and I stood in long lines registering for summer school.

Pots and pansTuesday brought another job strike-out for Nate, so he signed up for something new. Bouncing through the apartment door, he told me he was going to be a salesman! When I asked “of what?” he said, “Pots and pans – selling them door-to-door.” I had a bad feeling about this but didn’t say so, telling him we would celebrate big-time when he made his first sale.

Tuesday for me included a phone conversation confirming I would be student teaching in a 2nd grade classroom under a teacher who didn’t have as much experience as I did. But I also learned that a friend from Danville would be in my afternoon seminars, a little light in a dark situation. Heavy on my mind, though, was my inability to make any money the whole summer.

2nd gradeOn Wednesday I received the 2nd grade curriculum and my student teaching assignments. Optimism faded when I realized how time-intensive it was going to be. Meanwhile, Nate was doing his best to make his first sale of pots and pans… at $350 a set. [$2100 today] No wonder he wasn’t having any luck.

On Thursday Nate kept up his cold-calling, and I met a classroom-full of students. I also tried to make friends with my co-teacher but could tell she didn’t want me there. Even my steady attempts at humor fell flat. In my journal that night I wrote, Student teaching has me racked already, and I hate it – the seminars, too.

By Friday, Nate and I were both down in the dumps once again, wondering how we would ever live through the summer. But we tried to do for each other what my folks had done for us the weekend before – encourage and nourish. Though I knew Nate was no salesman, I cheered him on: “It’ll happen next week for sure!” He did the same for me: “Only 8 more weeks, Meg. I know you can do it!”

Fellow sufferersThat night, at the end of a hard week, we invited friends Cathy and John over for watermelon at 10:30 and felt much better afterwards. They were having some of their own struggles, and misery loves company.

But best of all was the note I found at the end of that long week: Dearest Meg. Thank you for your warm and affectionate noontime reminder to me. I’ll love you forever.

Nate's noteAnd I knew no matter how hard things got, by the end of the summer, our love for each other would still be strong.

“I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:13)