Category Archives: Children

Newlywed Love (#5)

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December 13, 1969

After my second day back at school, Nate and I had something special to write on our wall calendar – our first social engagement as husband and wife.

Principal Scarce and meMr. Scarce, our McKinley School principal, had come to my classroom asking if the two of us would come to his home the following weekend for a multi-purpose party: to celebrate our wedding and also the Christmas season. All 7 teachers would be invited, and he hinted there might be a “roast.” It was easy to guess who. (Right: Principal Scarce and me)

More than happy to keep the wedding celebration going, Nate and I accepted. When party day arrived, it was extra special because my carpool buddies Judy and Linda were there, too, along with their husbands. All of us were newlyweds enjoying our first year of marriage.

It seemed odd to be driving the 40 miles to Danville on a Saturday evening, but we were proud to have our men along and eager to introduce them to our work cronies.

Scarce partyAs soon as we arrived, Mr. Scarce pinned a gauzy curtain to my hair. He had a little trouble, since I was wearing a wig. (Nate and I had decided to grow our hair for a while  – he a mustache and me a longer ‘do. His ‘stache was coming along nicely, but every day was a bad-hair day for me.)

“After we eat,” Mr. Scarce said, “we’re going to have a mock wedding.” (Above, Linda and Ron behind us.)

Although the roasting part of the ceremony was a bit racy, I reminded myself we weren’t in church. Part of it was a summary of the bride’s qualifications for marriage, including her ability to ditch teacher training days (…apparently forgiven but not forgotten).

Scarce party.At the end of it, Mr. Scarce presented us with a fake marriage license, pretending to be shocked as he announced we weren’t really married after all, because of an error on the license. We played along, always mindful that our host was also my boss.

The evening was a success, and I was grateful to be back in the good graces of our principal… sort of. I knew I was going to search for a new school the following year where I might be able to teach kindergarten again, and no doubt he wouldn’t like that. But a good recommendation would be critical.

Although Danville hadn’t required me to attend adult education classes in order to continue teaching, I still wasn’t officially certified. If the need for “provisional” teachers disappeared, I’d be out the door —  which would mean financial ruin for Nate and I. As he attended law school, my small paycheck was our sole support. With loving families behind us, we knew we’d never starve, but we wanted very much to do life on our own.

“The Lord is your keeper… He will keep your life. The Lord will keep your going out and your coming in.” (Psalm 121:5,7,8)

Young Love (#136)

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November 29, 1969… 8:30 PM

As our wedding reception continued, Mom and Dad stepped to the front and voiced an official welcome to their guests. They had been moving among them, greeting each person, and I wondered if they had even taken time to eat.

The welcomeMom looked tired but was thoroughly enjoying herself. Dad, too, seemed to be having a good time, and my mind wandered back to the stressful conversations we’d had about choosing a wedding date.

They’d wanted us to wait another year to marry, but we had no interest in that. Mom insisted we couldn’t pull together a big wedding in so little time, but here we were, on November 29th, and all was well. Everything had worked out after all, thanks mostly to Mom, and I felt tremendous appreciation for her.

IntroductionsNext up was the introduction of the wedding party. I went first and spoke a line or two about each of the ladies, including little Brittney, Marea, and our 6 hostesses. Nate followed with the men and boys.

Once again it impacted me that these particular people were the peers we loved most in the whole world, and here they were – all in one place at the same time.

Introductions.

What a unique phenomenon to savor at that moment…. and always.

Smiling.Mary, as maid of honor, and Ken, as best man, each gave a little speech, but without any alcohol on the menu, they didn’t do toasts. That kind of “worldliness” would have been frowned upon in such a conservative church in the 1960’s, so no one expected toasts or missed them. Besides, the meaningful words spoken were honor enough.

I asked the bridesmaids to once again sing their pretty song, since guests had said they were unable to hear them well during the wedding. The string quintet, which had been supplying classy dinner music throughout the meal, took a welcome break, and the girls gathered around the piano. None of them had expected this, but they cheerfully sang their hearts out while Helen Carbaugh accompanied with perfection.

Singing

It was a flawless performance, and their three-part harmony was angelic. I was so proud of them I could have busted out of my 48 buttons.

Dad eats.As the bridesmaids took their seats, my eyes caught a glimpse of Dad sitting by himself, consuming a plate of food. Mom had returned to circulating, but Dad had finally decided it was time to eat. And why not? After all, he was footing the bill.

We thanked everyone for coming, which would release them to go if they so chose, but encouraged guests to get more food and hang around. The photographer was setting up for family pictures near an empty wall, so we knew we’d be there for quite a while.

SmoochGuests continued clinking their punch cups together to make us kiss, and Nate and I relished the taste of every one of them… eagerly looking forward to some private kissing-time without any restrictions, once we were alone.

“Taste and see that THE LORD is good. Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in him!” (Psalm 34:8)

Young Love (#132)

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November 29, 1969… 6:00 PM

As my bridesmaids and I gathered at the door of the ladies lounge waiting for our cue to move to the back of the sanctuary, we heard the organ sound six distinct bells, indicating it was 6:00 and the ceremony was beginning. Though we couldn’t see from where we were, we knew the candle-lighters were moving down the double aisles with their tapers, lighting candles.

I glanced one last time at the card I was holding in my hand – the vows I would make to Nate – and realized I hadn’t really memorized them yet. But just then Helen appeared. “OK, girls. Time to go.” The bridesmaids, flower girl, ring bearer, and I paraded out behind her, single file like ducklings following their mother.

As we giggled with excitement, Helen put her finger to her lips. “Shhh!”

KenTomWe got to the back of the church in time to see Nate’s parents being seated by his brother Ken (L) and Mom heading down the aisle on Tom’s arm. (R)

 

Beautiful chamber music from a professional string group was softly playing at the front of the church (making me wish I hadn’t quit violin lessons in 8th grade). Their sound was heart-stirring and set the perfect mood.

Connie came around the corner with Dad in tow, directing him to stand near me. But before that, the photographer lined us up for one last picture before we went in.

Bridesmaids

The men, looking spectacular in their cut-away tuxes, were already in place at the front, though they were so far away, I could hardly tell who was who. But I knew Nate was at the bottom of the steps, ready to receive me, and I wished I could run down the aisle and throw myself into his arms.

But one by one Helen and Connie signaled each bridesmaid to start, reminding them to walk slowly. What a thrill to watch this procession of my 7 dearest friends, each one representing a particular time in my life. I had the sense that the 8 of us would never be together like this again… which made the moment even more significant.

Little onesAnd then it was time for our little ones to go, and Connie gave them a pep talk, telling them not to rush. “But,” said Brittney, “how many pieces of flower should I put on the floor?”

We told her to do whatever she wanted with the rose petals. She could drop them one by one as she walked or dump them all out together when she got there. It was up to her.

Timmy proudly carried his pillow with its dime store rings, his coat tails swinging back and forth as he walked. By the time they reached the front, they looked so small in that massive room they almost disappeared.

And then it was our turn – Dad and me. I looked at him and was overwhelmed with how much I loved him.

Father and daughterHe had put up with a great deal to get me raised (I hadn’t been the obliging daughter Mary had), and now he’d blessed me with the wedding I’d wanted. I was overwhelmed with gratitude and felt like crying.

But the tum-tum-de-dum of the organ’s wedding march sounded, our signal to start, so I looped my arm through Dad’s and hung on tight. And then, what is true for every bride became true for me. During the slow and deliberate walk down the aisle, my strong bond with Dad began to loosen. By the time he had escorted me to the front, my heart had made a seismic shift.

And it wasn’t difficult to let go of him and grab onto Nate – who was about to become my main man.

Sanctuary

“Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us.” (Psalm 90:17)