Young Love (#72)

July 25 – 27, 1969:

After Nate’s graduation, the 8-hour drive together to his parents’ home was pure pleasure. As he drove, I studied my handsome groom, tanned and muscular after his hard physical weeks under the Army’s tutelage. He had never looked better, and my eyes drank him in.

Main St.Throughout the weekend with his parents, we shared gourmet meals lovingly made by his mother, and talked about wedding plans. Nate and I took late-night walks around his old neighborhood, strolling hand-in-hand with frequent stops to give and receive more of those stored-up kisses. It was fun to hear stories of his childhood, and I could easily picture him biking down Main Street with his grade school buddies.

PackingToward the close of the weekend, we were back in the car driving the 4 hours to Wilmette where a massive clean-up was under way after my folks’ garage sale. Their moving date was 3 days hence, and the last big push to empty their home was at hand.

Nate and I had begged out of our first counseling week at the church camp to help Mom and Dad, and it’s a good thing we did. They needed all hands on deck. After working non-stop for many weeks readying the house, both of them were depleted, carrying on by grit alone.

LoadingThe peaceful calm of Nate’s home evaporated as we joined forces with Mom, Dad, Mary, Bervin, and brother Tom, sorting, lifting, hauling, shoving, and driving load after load to other locations. In the process, Nate and I inherited a small apartment-sized stove, for which we were grateful. It was stored at the next-door-neighbors’ house, since we hadn’t yet looked for an apartment in Champaign.

In retrospect, I can hardly believe we had insisted on a big wedding so close to my parents’ big move. The word “selfish” springs to mind. Today I am the age my father was when this unfolded, and just reading about it makes me tired. I’m grateful their double duty didn’t swamp them completely. That move was difficult for them in every way.

They were leaving a home that had been the place where my brother, sister, and I had grown from children into adults. It’s where all of our youthful dates originated and where our teenage pals hung out, day… and night. It’s where Mom produced hundreds of dinners, parties, and celebrations, happily including our friends in whatever was happening. It’s where Dad walked out the front door every morning to his office in the Loop and walked back in every night at 6:15 to Mom’s squeals of delight and her kisses. And it’s where he finally retired at the age of 70.

In addition to the move and the wedding, Mom’s 3 children were all stepping into new lives, leaving a mother who’d loved every minute of parenting them and had no interest in an empty nest. (None of us have a single memory of her ever saying no.) She had wanted a dozen kids, but when that couldn’t happen, she told us she’d just had the 3 best instead.

Mary and Bervin at front doorAnd we all knew that when moving day came, for these reasons and many others, Mom would struggle to walk out the door.

“This is what the Lord says – Do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!” (Isaiah 43:18-19)

Young Love (#55)

As the days passed, Nate’s and my separation seemed to be taking a greater toll on us – although the old adage that absence makes the heart grow fonder was definitely true. Despite the distance and no way to talk on the phone, we were passionate about our love for each other and couldn’t wait to be together.

But God has a knack for using difficult experiences to produce spiritual fruit, and that was certainly happening with Nate.

good-words

July 10, 1969 – Dearest Meg. I want you to know I’ve been thinking about my priorities. Christ comes first, then Meg and our family, and last, myself. Christ is everything to me, and this Army camp impresses this more firmly than any sermon I’ve heard. Experience is Christ’s best advocate, and tutor for prayer. The wonder of prayer – peace of mind through a personal relationship with Christ.

July 10, 1969 – Dear Nate. I went home tonight to see if I could help Mom do some packing before next month’s move. Instead of packing she was hosting a gigantic party for the entire neighborhood (50 people), and at the last minute, Dad had had to leave for an emergency meeting. Tommy, Mary, and Bervin all had other commitments, so she had no help. But she wanted to be a strong witness for Christ before moving away. I arrived just before the guests, and she was grateful. Then I stayed, watching Mom pass out Bibles to each family. She stood up and told them about her love for the Lord and his role in her daily life. They might have expected hors d’oeuvres and cocktails, but they got strawberry shortcake and religion instead. She was, by the way, very happy to grab my hand and show off my engagement ring to all her guests.

July 10, 1969 – Dearest Meg. I wish I was there to help you with all the wedding planning, but I will be soon! Prayer has been a comfort in coping with our separation. I’m anxious to try conversational prayer with you. Our regular prayer times mean so much. Every time I pray, I thank God for our engagement, and each time I mention that, I get a warm feeling of certainty that the Lord wants us to be married (and probably have 4 kidlets – Karen Meg, Brown Bear, Kenneth Hamilton, and Fort Riley Nyman).

the-nyman-children

July 10, 1969 – Dear Nate. What do you think of our family photo? And on a more serious note, what do you think about having a couple of my X-kindergarteners in our wedding? We need a flower girl and a ring bearer, and I love the idea of having children in the ceremony. My only reservation is that there may be jealousy if word gets around that I’ve chosen some and not others. What do you think?

July 11, 1969 – Dearest Meg. We spent all morning (4:00 AM to 1:00 PM) on the daylight map course – using prominent terrain features and pace-counting to locate our points. The exercise was graded; my partner and I found all our points, so we did well. Tonight from 6:00 to midnight we have the night map course using a lensatic compass. But I am thinking of you constantly. I thank the Lord there are only 14 training days left, 9 days in the field. But the days go quickly with thoughts of you.

“God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work.” (2 Corinthians 9:8)

Young Love (#54)

mother-in-law-letterBoth Nate’s parents and mine had taken up the charge to pull together a big wedding in just a few months. Nate’s mother called and invited me to come visit them when Nate returned from Army camp on July 25. I assured her I would.

We were confident God was leading us through each decision, and we knew everything would fall together on time. I hoped to move down to Champaign at the end of August to be near Nate as he went back to law school and was anxious to prepare a newlywed home for us in an apartment near the university. The fact that I didn’t have even one lead on a teaching job didn’t bother me. I was trusting that God would show us what to do.

July 9, 1969 – Dearest Meg. I wrote my folks about the rehearsal dinner and guest list. Please feel no hesitation in calling or writing mother. Don’t be reticent. She is very eager to know and be with her new daughter. Even visiting her overnight would be very nice and generous of you, if you want to make the 4 hour drive. You both could have a good girl talk.

July 9, 1969 – Dear Nate, my fabulous fiancé! You will never know how much all your letters mean to me. They have truly factored into the growth of our relationship. And now we have a written record of all of it! When I received your THREE letters today, I was alone in the apartment but found myself exclaiming aloud, “I love you! and “Oh, Nate!” I got really excited over the things you wrote. You’re an excellent writer, but on top of your words, the message they convey is even more wonderful! I always thank the Lord that He let us find each other.

in-topekaJuly 9, 1969 – Dearest Meg. I get flashes of you in my mind like flashbacks in a movie – smiling, laughing. You’re on my mind constantly, and in a flash your beauty is even more striking and breathtaking. I appreciate you more every minute. In one month we can celebrate your birthday, then mine 10 days later. Just think – someday we’ll celebrate our babies’ birthdays! Cake and diaper-changing during the same party!

July 9, 1969 – Dear Nate. When you write that you are secure at last about my reciprocal love for you, this makes me heart rejoice! At last we are on an equal level of love and trust and candor with each other. I love you so much that sometimes I feel like bursting inside! I’m so thankful to the Lord for allowing me to experience this depth of love. By the way, I bought a new dress to wear to your friend’s wedding. It’s mint green brocade with tiny baby-blue accents. You’ll love it. And I love YOU!

July 10, 1969 – Dearest Meg. I need you, and you need me. Fulfilling each other’s needs is a complete 24-hour task requiring every thought, word, and deed. I love you so much! I hope I can always please you. I am glad we’re waiting until 29 November for sex. It will mean more that way, even in our spiritual and emotional senses.

July 11, 1969 – Dear Nate. You are kind and generous to remember my birthday and to do so with such enthusiasm! Wow! And when you commented about diapers and birthday cake at the same party, I about fell off my chair with that thrilling realization! You will make an excellent father, aware of the needs of others as you are, and will be especially good with your own wife and children. You’re responsible and stable, and I know I’m VERY lucky I get to marry you!

“Joyful are those who have the God of Israel as their helper, whose hope is in the Lord their God.” (Psalm 146:5)