A Blog Hiatus

In 2005, my sister Mary and I began talking about writing a book together. Our children were mostly grown, some married with children themselves. They were asking for advice, and we wondered if sharing our mothering experiences might make a helpful book. It wouldn’t be a compilation of quotes from experts or the experiences of other moms but simply what worked and what didn’t in raising our 14 kids.

17 cousins

(17 first cousins: Mary’s 7 — my 7 — our brother Tom’s 3)

After months of discussion, our first official meeting finally took place on September 27, 2006, during which we spent time praying over our book idea and recording names of women who might pray along with us. We created a statement of purpose and began making notes.

But life got in the way. My family moved from our home of 29 years to a much smaller place and had to focus on eliminating and concentrating. Shortly thereafter, Nate got sick, and in a whirlwind of upheaval and grief, he passed away.

While we were still reeling, Mary and Bervin’s home of 40 years sold, and they too were eliminating and concentrating to make a move. Then shortly after that, Mary learned of her pancreatic cancer and began treatment with major surgery and 6 months of chemo. During these same years, the two of us greeted 19 new grandchildren and 6 new in-law children. Our book was firmly stuck on the back  burner.

But now, 10 years after our first book-discussion, God suddenly began giving me a repeated prompt: “How about that book on mothering?”

PrayersSince my book of prayers for widows is in its final editing stage, I began praying extensively about resurrecting Mary’s and my book. “Lord, should we really try to do it?” But as always, he was way ahead of me and was all set with his answer.

Two weeks ago, I was listening to a sermon while readying for the day, glancing at my open Bible now and then. When the preacher referenced Proverbs 4:23, I turned there and found brackets and a star at that exact verse. I’d also written a note there, 8 years ago:

“Whatever my assignment from God, I must focus intently on it and do it without distractions, gazed fixed, looking directly ahead. 11/07 (Mary’s and my book).”

Bible marginI’ve often wished that after I’ve prayed about something, God would just send me a letter with his answer. This was pretty close!

What were the odds I’d hear that particular sermon referencing that particular verse after that particular week of prayer about the book? What were the chances I’d have even chosen that particular Bible to use that day, of the many I own? No other Bible had that particular note in it.

Immediately I thought about the Lord watching me write in that margin in 2007 while knowing he was going to impact me with it in 2015. Only God…

And so I stepped into his directive, “gazed fixed on the book,” and talked to Mary. These days she is feeling tip-top, another fact that defies all odds. But with God, who believes in odds? She shared my excitement about revisiting our book and was all for walking through the door God had re-opened.

So… as we move forward “looking directly ahead,” I will be the writer; Mary will be the organizer, fact-checker, side-bar creator, and brains behind the words. In order to find new writing time, though, I’ll need to dial-back on blog posts for a while. Though I may blog occasionally, it will no longer be 5 posts a week.

This decision was a difficult one, since I feel attached to you readers and look forward to blogging each day. But I’ll continue to pray for you, and you’ll be on my mind daily. Also, I promise that if anything changes with Mary’s health, I will immediately resume regular blogging. Meanwhile, concerning Mary, you can assume that NO news will always be GOOD news!

As for our book? Stay tuned….

“Show me your ways, Lord…. Guide me in your truth and teach me….” (Psalm 25:4,5)

Accepting Revisions

In yesterday’s post we learned of little Elizabeth Anne Nyman’s arrival into her family, bringing the revised count up to 7.These first 24 hours have been like a symphony of praise as we’ve all sent waves of gratitude up to the Lord.

Bigger by one!

A sister-blessingFive-year-old Evelyn is gleeful over the blessing of a sister, and the older boys are finding Elizabeth interesting and appealing.

And then there’s Andrew.

One month short of turning two, he has no idea how his life is about to change, and from his point of view, it’ll all be negative. Visitors will arrive with gifts…. for Elizabeth. The camera will be clicking continually…. focused on Elizabeth. He’ll have to wait longer for his turn…. because of Elizabeth. And he’ll be carried less…. since mummy will be carrying Elizabeth.

Look at ME!Over time Andrew may make objections to these and other changes, but his reign as “the baby” has come to an end. Of course his parents will be conscious of this difficult adjustment, giving him as much one-on-one as they can. Hans said it well, though: “It’ll be the best thing in the world for him.”

Most two-year-olds assume they’re the center of the universe, and there’s nothing like a new baby in the house to teach them they’re not.

Interestingly, we adults sometimes have to learn this same lesson in different ways. When God tells us “no” to something we dearly want, he is acting as our loving Parent and has important reasons why a “no” is good for us. As a result, we may have a toddler-style tantrum – not that anyone can see, but inside our heads.

It’s easy to mentally rebel against a choice God makes for us by determining we’re going to do it our way anyway. But he isn’t swayed by our toddler-like behavior and doesn’t change his mind just to make us happy. Katy and Hans won’t acquiesce to Andrew, either, if he makes unreasonable demands in the weeks to come.

No “demotion” from the place we want to be is without its angst, but in Andrew’s case, eventually he’ll adjust to his revised role in the family and life will get easier for him. Hopefully we adults learn to respond to God’s revisions well, too, so we can escape the harsh natural consequences that often come when we resist.

It's all good now!Yesterday’s post also included the story of our Linnea who didn’t get the baby sister she’d been hoping for but got a 4th brother instead. Though she fought it at first, it wasn’t too long before she got on board with God’s choice. And two good things came from that: (1) she learned to be faithful in prayer (asking for a sister), and (2) she learned that God does answer prayer, sometimes lavishly! Not too long after she got a 4th brother, she got two more siblings. Both sisters.

 

As the old chorus goes, God’s way is the best way.

“Whoever heeds instruction is on the path to life.” (Proverbs 10:17)

ln the Pink

Back in the fall of 1982, I was 9 months pregnant and very anxious to meet our 5th child. Also excited were his or her siblings: Nelson, Lars, Linnea, and Klaus, 3 boys and 1 girl. Logic told us another girl would be nice.

3 boys, 1 girl, so farIf you had chatted with our one daughter back then, at 5 years old she’d have let you know that baby #5 was definitely going to be a girl. The thought of a 4th brother was, well, unthinkable.

I prepped her for that possibility, though, by saying, “God is the one who chooses boy or girl, so we’re going to be happy with whoever he sends to us.” But that didn’t dissuade Linnea from continuing to think pink.

The day Hans was born, Nate and I were thrilled with a boy-partner for his brother Klaus, who was just 16 months older. But we knew we’d have to choose our words carefully when we announced the news of yet another brother to our little girl.

As expected, she didn’t take it well. “Did you do that on purpose, Mommy?” she asked, looking sideways at me with her pudgy hand on her hip.

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3 boys, 1 girl...In recent weeks, the tables have turned, and our 5th-born (Hans) has been anticipating his own 5th-born. With 3 sons and 1 daughter, it was déjà vu as he and Katy found themselves preparing little Evelyn, also 5 years old, for the possibility of a 4th brother.

One thing Katy did was set up a mother-daughter “date” during which she cleverly told Evelyn a story: “Once there was a family with 3 boys and 1 little girl. The mummy was going to have another baby, and the little girl really wanted a sister…”

The conclusion of her story was, “The new baby turned out to be a little boy, and they named him Hans – and guess what. He grew up to be your daddy!”

Katy described to Evelyn how different life would be for them if Hans had been a girl. Katy wouldn’t have him as her husband, and Evelyn wouldn’t have him as the daddy she loves. Evelyn understood, but that didn’t stop her from continuing to think pink.

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Hans, Katy, and ElizabethToday, just after lunch, the long-awaited phone call came. Baby #5 had arrived safe and sound in England…. a sister for Evelyn!

Elizabeth Anne Nyman, born at home, weighed in at 7 pounds 4 ounces. And I am grateful for the conversation I got to have with both parents today while the thrill of the birth experience was still fresh in their voices. God has done his wondrous work yet again, creating a brand new, unique person with a soul that will live forever.

 

Elizabeth means my God is bountiful.  Anne means graced with God’s favor.

Indeed!

Elizabeth AnneDear Lord, please cause Elizabeth Anne to “come to know your ways. Teach her your paths. Lead her in your truth and teach her, for you are the God of her salvation.” (Psalm 25:4-5) We are overwhelmed by your goodness, Father, and the gift of this precious child! With all our hearts we thank you.  Amen