Category Archives: Children

It wasn’t easy.

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Some men go through life without having children, and some have only boys. In both cases, they’ve been spared one of life’s more difficult moments. They’ll never have to “give away” a daughter on her wedding day.

Nate and LinneaLittle girls idolize their daddies. That’s the way it should be, since Daddy is their first reference for what God is like. In a best-case scenario, fathers evidence God-like characteristics toward their daughters: patience, kindness, love, goodness. If a daughter grows up in a relationship with this kind of daddy, it’s easy for her to later relate to God as her loving heavenly Father.

Most fathers are fiercely protective of their daughters. Heaven help the person who intentionally harms them! This is what’s behind a father’s mistrust of adolescent boys who come calling during the dating years. Fathers see themselves as earth’s best security force for their little girls, no matter how big they get.

Margaret and her DadThen comes the greatest of all fatherly challenges, a daughter’s wedding day. Even if a man approves of his potential son-in-law, that walk down a church aisle to place his daughter’s hand in that of a young man can weaken even the strongest knees.

I remember my own wedding-walk down the long aisle of Moody Church. Clutching my dad’s arm gave me a sense of security, and I knew if I got wobbly, he’d stabilize me. But what was he thinking? I never asked.

Linnea and Nate

I did ask Nate, though, about his similar experience. He walked our Linnea down the aisle wearing an expression that said, “This is hard!” When we talked about it later, he said, “It was much harder than I thought it would be.”

And that’s the way it is for fathers who love their daughters.

But even in cases of poor fathering, no one needs to be without a perfect Father. God invites us to be his children, an offer that didn’t come without a “giving away.” Unlike earthly fathers who give away their daughters on a happy wedding day, God gave away his Son to an awful fate, a wrenching death he didn’t deserve. There is no greater sacrifice. Surely that day was excruciating for the Father, and yet he followed through.

Today we are able to reap the benefits of being children of that perfect Father. He is devoted beyond human capability and will never make the wrong call on our behalf. And if we wobble, he will stabilize us.

Although I was eager to have Dad give me away on my wedding day, I don’t ever want God to give me away. And happily, he has promised he never will.

“To all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God — children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.” (John 1:12-13)

Family Blessings

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Before I had grandchildren, I would read Scripture’s references to them and make no connection. But now those same verses mean a lot more, because they include names and faces.

The basic message is, “If you live to see grandchildren come into your family, you’ll be blessed beyond measure.” Jeremiah put it this way: “Marry and have children. Then find spouses for them, so that you may have many grandchildren. Multiply! Do not dwindle away!” (29:6, NLT)

With Isaac, used on Linni's blogThe joys of grandchildren are as varied as the children themselves, and grandparents love noticing personality differences and God-given bents. With the buffer of a generation between us (our own children), we’re free to encourage and nurture them without having to participate in the more challenging tasks of parenthood, like discipline and decision-making.

But what happens if we grow into old age without any children and thus without grandchildren? Are we meant to forfeit those scriptural blessings?

I don’t think so. The key to claiming the blessing is to understand how broad the definition of the word “grandchildren” is in the Bible. One of those verses hints at it by saying, “Grandchildren are the crowning glory of the aged.” (Proverbs 17:6) Though I dearly love my grandchildren, I wouldn’t call them a “crowning glory.” I think the words “crowning glory” have more to do with spiritual matters than physical ones.

If someone asked me, “What’s your life’s crowning glory?” I would answer, “My saving relationship with Christ.” Psalm 103 says, “Bless the Lord, O my soul, who redeems your life from destruction, who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies.” (v. 1 & 4) Now, that’s a crown I love wearing!

But how do we link a spiritual crown with grandchildren? I think the answer is in our parenting (and grandparenting) of spiritual children. When we lead someone to Christ, explaining salvation, then praying with them, followed by mentoring them, we become a type of parent to them. One dear friend of mine calls me her “spiritual mother,” a great honor.

If she then leads others to Christ by her testimony, those people become her spiritual children and a type of spiritual grandchildren to me. And if they, in turn, lead others, my friend becomes the spiritual grandparent.

I understand that God has no grandchildren, because he’s the Father to all believers. But by bearing witness to the reality of his love, our spiritual family can grow by generations, having nothing to do with biology and everything to do with divinity. We can delight in those generational grands that become related to us through salvation, continuing our encouraging and nurturing right into eternity.

Heaven's gateAnd then, just imagine the thrill of standing at heaven’s gate, welcoming our spiritual children and grandchildren as they arrive! That’s a jewel-studded crown of glory every one of us will be overjoyed to wear.

 

“One generation shall commend your works to another, and shall declare your mighty acts.” (Psalm 145:4)

The Trouble with Bubbles

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My two-year-old granddaughter Emerald is in love with bubbles. Her fascination with them is her longest-running interest by far, and she never tires of our blowing them for her.

Every time she arrives at my house, without fail her first words are, “Oska bubbles? Oska bubbles?” We still aren’t sure what “oska” means, but when I pull the bubble-stuff from atop the ‘fridge, she begins jumping up and down and waving her arms with joy.

Bubble babyOften she’ll run into a cloud of bubbles with an open mouth, getting bubble-soap on her tongue. “Tasty!” she’ll say, doing it again and again. (Surely she doesn’t know the definition of “tasty.”)

Emerald likes to sit on the floor and let the bubbles float down to her, marveling when they pop in her lap. Or she’ll just poke them with her finger and shout, “Pop! Pop! Pop!”

She’s chased enough bubbles to have seen that each one includes a rainbow of colors, sometimes naming the ones she sees. She’s also learned to identify two bubbles stuck together. “Double bubble! Double bubble!”

Emerald faithfully points out bubbles she sees in unusual places, too, like in freshly poured coffee or milk, or in the wash machine, or even in the water coming from the kitchen faucet.

The trouble with bubbles, though, is how temporary they are. As they form and then drift along, they mesmerize us with their beauty, but with the slightest touch of a toddler’s finger, they’re gone.

Scripture talks about our lives being transient much like bubbles are. God doesn’t use the bubble analogy but does compare a life span to “a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.” In another place he notes we have “but a momentary” existence, and also says we “fade like leaves.” Each of us is “but a breath,” he says.*

Believing what God is trying to tell us in these word pictures should put us in right relationship with him, the Lord of eternity. He also hopes we’ll take comfort in remembering that when our struggles increase and life gets hard, it’s all short-lived compared to the joyful bliss he has in store for us.

BubblesHe may not say it directly, but when we look back on our earthly troubles, we’ll probably see them much like Emerald sees bubbles: Pop! Pop! Pop!

 

“O Lord…. Let me know how fleeting I am!” (Psalm 39:4)

*(James 4:14, Psalm 39:5 & 11, Isaiah 64:6)