Category Archives: Children

Not What We Envsioned

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What do we do when life doesn’t turn out the way we envision it? Based on the facts we know on any given day, most of us project next-step logic. When it doesn’t follow accordingly, we become unsettled and usually unhappy.

This is especially true when a first baby is on the way. A young couple nurtures the mental picture of mama and baby snuggled together in the minutes after labor and delivery, the sweet desire of the heart accomplished just as they’d hoped. But what if the doctor delivers a piece of news that rearranges that picture?

Andrew and Kim with AndersThat’s what happened to my nephew Andrew and his wife Kim during the last weeks of her pregnancy. It was a blow to learn their baby wasn’t growing as he should in the womb and that their wisest choice would be to induce delivery 3 weeks ahead of schedule. The diagnosis was Intrauterine Growth Restriction (IUGR), and the medical consensus was that the placenta wasn’t delivering adequate nutrition to the baby.

Little Anders James was born on December 22 weighing 4 pounds 2 ounces but other than his low weight seemed healthy and whole. So what does a young couple do when their parenthood picture looks nothing like what they visualized?

IMG_8754They do the same thing all young couples do. They love, protect, and pamper their new baby. These particular parents have also rooted for their newborn in ways most parents never do, applauding each half-ounce of milk he takes in, comforting him when the effort to suck wears him out.

They’ve also become immediately aware of the fragility of life, something most new mothers and fathers don’t learn till much later. And they work to bond with their new baby through tubes, wires, and the NICU schedule. Caring for their little one is done in the presence of hospital personnel, and when it’s time to go home each night, they don’t get to take their baby with them.

imageKim and Andrew’s introduction to parenthood has been anything but smooth, yet they’ve responded to each complication with courage and endurance. When Anders’ weight slipped to 3 pounds 15 ounces, they didn’t panic but trusted God to bring the gains he needed and continued diligently to tend to his feedings. When he pulled out his feeding tube again and again, they patiently endured his objections as it was reestablished.

The Lord is hovering close to this young family as it goes through these difficult days of wondering what the future will hold while managing the complex present. But God made Anders to be exactly who he is, a little fellow working hard to meet the big challenges of each new day.

And as all three of them continue to learn from each other, one thing they already know for sure: Anders James has been “fearfully and wonderfully made” by a God who loves him with an everlasting love.

Kim and Anders“From everlasting to everlasting the Lord’s love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children’s children.” (Psalm 103:17)

Praising and Praying with Mary

I’m thankful Anders’ feeding tube was taken out today and that he is continuing to gain weight, up to 4 pounds 11 ounces at last count.

Please pray he’ll continue to make steady gains and that the Lord will direct as to which day he leaves the hospital.

One More from Melanie

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In this season of giving, we’ve peeked in on how someone else does it, providing some fresh oomph for all of us to pass along whatever kindnesses we can. Melanie reported, after her birthday was over, that next year she’ll tweak her system to make it more efficient. After all, the number of kindnesses will only grow as the candles on her cake increase. Here’s what she wrote in an email:

At the end of the day I was pretty worn out…next year I’ll have to start giving myself a week to accomplish my list, because it’s not going to get any easier to get through it.  

Kindness..Many of the things were actually just a matter of getting around to my good intentions…notes I meant to write or thank-you’s I meant to say long ago but hadn’t accomplished. It felt good to just hunker down and be intentional (which is the opposite of random, I know) about making sure certain people were feeling loved and appreciated. I learned that it really doesn’t take much time at all, with a little planning, to brighten someone’s day who really needs it.

A few more things I learned… 

Kindness participantKindness starts at home. There are a gazillion things I do that all of us moms and wives do to serve our families, but I’m learning that there’s a big difference in the way I go about it when I have the mindset of, “How can I bless them?” I noticed an absence of resentment and an all-around better attitude when I thought to myself, “I can get this for him,” or “She would like it if…” Thanks, Lord, for the heart change! 

Along those lines, as this becomes a birthday tradition, I may make arrangements so the kids aren’t with me the _whole_ time I’m running around town. It may get easier as they get older, but this year I heard a lot of whining about getting in and out of the car, and it really amounted to a long day with lots of driving around for them. 

I also learned that I’m really awkward when I’m talking to random people. But the look of surprise when they learn they’re getting a free coffee is worth it.

Kindness....And I want to be sure to bless people who don’t get many thank-you’s, like those serving at school or church or cleaning public restrooms.  

And most importantly, I want to make the day less about “random,” which is a little too much about me and “how nice I am.” Instead I want to more purposefully share the love of Christ, because without him, I’m rotten and selfish.

And lastly, I confirmed that I have the most patient, indulgent husband. He drove around in rush hour traffic for me and never complained.  

All in all, best birthday ever. Tradition established. 

Love, Mel

“Remember this…. Whoever sows generously will also reap generously.”                    (2 Corinthians 9:6)

Praising and praying with Mary

I’m praising God for an early Christmas gift: my feeding tube came out today! Thank you so much for the faithful praying all of you did about this!

A Unique Teaching Method

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Christmas is 10 days away, coaxing us to think again about the baby of Bethlehem. How did the Trinity decide together on such an outlandish scheme to bring salvation to mankind? Divinity reduced to a newborn? And even more incredible, reduced to a single cell within the human body of a regular woman?

The NativityBut that became the plan for one important reason: Jesus wanted to do everything we did, to be tempted like us, struggle like us, feel like us, and live with our limitations. Amazingly, he wanted to be just like us. But why?

One reason was to teach us what a well-lived human life should look like. Another, and of course the most important reason, was to save our souls, a rationale we still can’t understand but enormously appreciate.

I love thinking about Jesus as an infant, then a toddler and a little child. Surely he had an ordinary childhood relationship with his mother, and she did for him all the things we moms did/do for our children. Then as he grew, he lived a model life in front of relatives, friends, and neighbors.

Through Scripture’s pages, he became our model, too. But when did his teaching begin? Was it at age 30 at the start of his formal ministry? Or was it well before that? Is it possible his choice to become a born-baby was meant to teach us something, too?

My mom loved kids, preferring their company to that of adults. I think one of the reasons was her ongoing expectation that they could teach her something, even the newborns. She watched them closely, sometimes talking to them as if they were the Lord’s emissaries of wisdom. “Tell me about God,” she’d say, focusing on the squinty eyes of a newborn who was still a year away from answering with words.

But words or not, Mom expected to learn. And she absolutely loved the idea that our Savior was born a baby “in the usual way.” He didn’t arrive to save us dressed in the armor of a warrior. He didn’t inherit a throne through royalty. He didn’t conquer with guns or swords. Instead he entered the scene unremarkably… just by being born.

Mom used to tell us, “When you recite John 3:16, think about the word ‘begotten.’ God gave us his ‘only begotten Son.’ It means ‘born of parents,’ and Jesus was born just like you, helpless, dependent, needy.”

In the ordinariness of his infancy, she wanted us to learn something. She hoped we’d see that our Savior was approachable in his humanity rather than intimidating in his divinity. Years later we would learn the difference between him and us, of his sinlessness and our sin. But as children, she wanted us to relate to, and learn from, our common infancies.

MangerBecause Jesus willingly came in that humble way, we love him all the more.

“God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16)

 

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. I’m praising God for the beautiful celebration of Christ’s birth at the Moody Church concert tonight.
  2. Please pray for wisdom when I talk to the doctor tomorrow about my feeding tube pain.