Category Archives: Children

Grow… Grow… Grow…

Posted on by

Margaret and MarjieWhen I was in 6th grade, Marjie Simmons (not her real name) was my best friend. One school day we were outside during recess when she said, “Something bad’s gonna happen.”

“What?” I said.

“We’re moving.”

I was speechless. Marjie said she wouldn’t be going to 7th grade with me, because she’d be living over 1000 miles away. This was devastating. When I told Mom, she kindly sympathized, but Dad said, “What’s all the fuss about? Before long you’ll forget all about her.”

My eleven-year-old heart was broken, because in my mind Marjie would always be #1. The thought of forgetting her was beyond comprehension. Although Dad hadn’t spoken with much tact, it turned out he was right. The sadness of Marjie’s departure didn’t last long, and other girlfriends soon took her place.

Marjie probably moved away from our friendship without difficulty, just as I did, because children go through life-changes like water through a funnel. They’re not the only ones changing, though. We adults have to change, too, since not changing leads to no place good.

Tying shoesA child’s goals are reachable: learning to walk, tying a bow, writing a name. Later it’s a little more work: conquering a sport, getting a license, buying a car. Once the childhood goals are met, things get downright complicated: choosing a career, finding a mate, conquering a bad habit. As our decisions grow in importance, we have to grow in maturity, and that includes the most difficult growth-arena, spiritual maturity.

My sister Mary and I once had a talk about our prayer lives. Compared to the volume of Mom’s praying, we were pathetic, still riding on her spiritual coattails as grown women. But eventually both of us succumbed to God’s conviction and responded to his prayer-invitation.

Then Mom died. We found ourselves wondering who would fill the prayer-void Mom had left, especially in reference to our own families.

“Maybe that’s us?” I said.

“And we arrived just in time,” Mary said, in a reference to Mom’s departure.

Although that change was long in coming, it’s one example of spiritual growth. We all have change-choice options. I should always be asking, “How can I do better? What does God want me to do now? Where can I improve?” To follow his lead is to avoid a stall or a stagnation.

Marjie Simmons and I quickly grew apart as kids, exactly as Dad had predicted. If we met again, both of us would have changed radically since our days together in 6th grade. But maybe if I did find her, we could be brand new friends.

I wonder if she’s on Facebook…

”We ask God to give you complete knowledge of his will and to give you spiritual wisdom and understanding. Then… you will grow as you learn to know God better and better.” (Colossians 1:9-10)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. Please pray that the anti-nausea IV before tomorrow’s chemo (#11) will work as well as it did last Monday.
  2. I’m thankful for summer, because of extra time with children and grandchildren.

Names and Nicknames

Posted on by

As each one of our children was born, Nate and I established two guidelines for naming them: (1) to follow Swedish tradition, and (2) for their names to be uncommon. We named them Nelson, Lars, Linnea, Klaus, Hans, Louisa and Birgitta.

We knew we were taking a chance by using unusual names and hoped our offspring wouldn’t hate them, but of course as youngsters they wanted to share commonly used names so that when they were asked, no repetition would be necessary. But as we hoped, they grew into their names, eventually becoming thankful for them.

In a hospital scene repeated seven times, Nate and I did what all parents do; we studied each newborn face and finalized a name, a delightful process. Although we went into labor and delivery with a list of boy and girl favorites, it didn’t seem right to actually choose until we got a look at him or her. Then, almost always, the “right” name popped out of the list.

Part of those naming conversations would always be mulling over possible nicknames, exploring whether or not any of those might evolve into teasing. Now we know there isn’t a name anywhere without nickname potential, even for adults.

Midge-Pidge beach chairsSeveral years ago our younger girls gave Nate and I nicknames: Pidge and Midge (see beach chairs). I liked mine, but Nate wasn’t enamored with his. “Sounds a lot like pigeon,” he said. Mary and Bervin became Modge and Podge, and one of their daughters Morge. So we were Midge, Pidge, Modge, Podge, and Morge.

Names are important to God. Scripture says he wrote us into the Book of Life from before the world was even made. In his limitless foreknowledge, he knew what people like Nate and I would decide to name each of our children and already had those choices written down. Such a thought is mind-boggling and completely wonderful.

At some future date when God decides the world will end, he says we’re going to receive new names, each one known only to the person receiving it. (Revelation 2:17) This sounds mysterious, especially because when it happens, he’s going to write it on a white stone as he gives it to us. Maybe it’s these new names that are written in his book rather than the names we now have.

The bookIn any case, Jesus makes it clear, while teaching his followers, that even more important than a name itself is where it’s written down. Is it in his Book? If it is, it’ll stand strong as a reservation for residence in heaven.

“Do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven.” (Luke 10:20)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. Pray for minimal nausea after chemo #10 tomorrow and an absence of other side effects.
  2. My second feeding tube is acting up just like the first one, prohibiting sleep. Pray we’ll get some help tomorrow while we’re there for chemo.
  3. I’m grateful for a full day at Moody Church today, and for the quiet of our “little nest” in the Chicago condo. Thank you for your prayers.

Who’s Who?

Posted on by

All of us are curious about how we came to be. Why did we end up male or female, and how were we assigned to a certain family? How did we land first, middle, or last in the birth order? These are interesting questions without ready answers, but that doesn’t stop us from wondering.

The Nyman family was designed like this: boy-boy-girl-boy-boy-girl-girl. I say “designed” because I believe God puts families together purposefully. Whether born-into, adopted, originating as a frozen embryo, or arriving in some other way, the Lord considers all the factors in his decision-making about each birth:

  • which parents?
  • what sex for each child?
  • what position in which family?
  • what personality?
  • what physical appearance?
  • when in human history he/she should arrive?

Linnea and her brothers, and dadI remember our Linnea ap- proaching me at the age of four. “It isn’t fair!” she said, her freckled face full of fury. “You had four boys and only me for a girl!”

Before I could comment, she launched into a lecture, letting me know I had no business tipping the scales so heavily toward the boy side. “Why did you?” she cried.

I had to admit, it did seem unfair. If we were voting on babies, her impression was I’d stuffed the ballot box in favor of boys because I liked them four times better than girls.

The answer that came to me was, “God decided.”

Like it or not, that was the truth; the baby-buck had always stopped with him. I’ve been thankful on more than one occasion for his permission to use his omnipotence in debates with children, and as always when God shows up in authority, the argument ceases. Even a six-year-old knows she can’t win against The Almighty.

All of us have questioned at one time or another why we were born as we were. Because faith in God is the fulcrum of my life, I’ve  wondered why I was born to Christian parents who led the way to Jesus. What if Mom and Dad had been Muslim? Or Buddhist? Or Hindu? Would I have followed their lead? Or would I have found Christ another way?

We aren’t in a position to demand answers to those questions. But I believe one day in heaven we’ll be shown, and when we hear God’s explanation we’ll say, “Ohhhh. Now I get it.”

Linnea eventually accepted her feminine fate, and I worked harder to partner with her in family femininity. Once she accepted that it was God who made her and her siblings exactly as they were, she chose to partner with him in finding a solution to the problem of too many brothers: pray and ask him for a sister.

Linnea and her sistersShe prayed for 5 years, and lo and behold, God sent her two!

“I, Wisdom, live together with good judgment. And how happy I was with the world the Lord created; how I rejoiced with the human family!” (Proverbs 8:12,31)

 

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. I’m rejoicing tonight that my 3 scans today revealed no stray cancer cells!
  2. Chemo resumes on Monday (9 down, 9 to go) with an additional anti-nausea drug in the “cocktail.”