Category Archives: Children

Taking What Comes

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Tonight I’m munching on brightly colored gumballs, thinking of an incident that happened 36 years ago. Whenever we’d shop at the local grocery, the three kids we had at the time tried to behave well, knowing that if they did, there was a treat after check-out. A clear glass machine of mouth-watering gumballs stood near the exit, and if we got that far tantrum-free, it was gumballs all around.

GumballsNelson always led the way with his dime. Before dropping it in, he’d tell the machine what color gumball he wanted. “A red one,” he’d say, in a demanding tone. Inevitably it was a different color, and though he’d made it through the store without a tantrum, it usually happened then.

“I said RED!” he’d holler, throwing his gumball and occasionally kicking the machine. The next time we’d approach the same machine, Nelson was sure this time his command would be obeyed, though mostly it wasn’t.

Eventually he decided to let Lars, two years younger, have the first turn. Stepping into his older brother’s shoes, little Lars put in his money and said, “I want green!” When a white one came out, he started to whimper. But his big brother had learned by painful experience and dished out some good advice: “Larsy, you have to take what the gumball machine gives you.”

This incident became part of our family folk lore. Nate told the story often, and whenever life took a negative turn, he’d quote Nelson. “This isn’t the greatest situation in the world, but we have to take what the gumball machine gives us.” He even made that statement once in reference to his pancreatic cancer.

And that’s the thing about life. Much of it is handed to us without our permission and is contrary to our wishes. Just as Nelson wanted a red gumball, we want unblemished health, a secure fortune, contented relationships, and personal freedom. Inevitably one (and sometimes all) of those categories become “discolored.”

Nelson once suggested we find a gumball machine with only red ones in it so his dime would produce what he wanted every time. Interestingly, our lives would be devoid of growth if the experiences coming to us were all the same hue. It’s by way of receiving the “wrong colors” that we make colorful progress.

The reality of the situation is that God does have control of what comes to us, whether it’s a certain gumball or a life experience, and he wants us to learn that every “color” has significant flavor. But be prepared for anything, because once in a while, just for the joy of it, he’ll send a “red gumball.”

“Taste and see that the Lord is good.” (Psalm 34:8)

Praising and Praying with Mary:

  1. Thanks for continued prayer about the feeding tube, which is infected at the skin and just under it, requiring antibiotics.
  2. Pray against needing IV antibiotics if the oral doesn’t help.
  3. Praise God there are things to do to address the tube pain.
  4. And I’m thankful it gives me 900 calories each night as I sleep.

Priceless Art

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After a visit from grandchildren, it takes a day to change my home over from a toddler environment to that of a single adult. Taking the junior chair, bathtub toys and rattles back to the basement, my thoughts are always with the children as they head home.

Grandma having funRecently while going through this process I thought back to my own days of young motherhood when I would visit Mom, kids in tow, at her orderly home set up for two adults. When she first found out she was going to be a grandma, she emptied a large cabinet and went garage-sale-ing for toys to fill it. “I want our grandkids to have fun when they come,” she said.

Her wish came true. Our children and everyone else’s had a blast at Grandma Johnson’s. After leaving multiple little ones in her care, I’d always hurry back, worrying she might be exhausted. But no matter the length of time or number of children, she’d always say, “Back already?”

Time flew, because she was having fun.

After the children had pulled every toy out of her cabinet, each of us young moms would stay to pick them up, but Mom would take them from our hands and say, “Oh, let me do that after you leave. I have such a good time thinking back on the morning.”

“But it’s such a mess!” we’d say.

“A happy mess,” she’d counter, “and I love it.”

I remember one morning when Mom took care of several of our kids and made chocolate chip cookies with them. Two year old Klaus had deposited a smudgy hand print on her white door at toddler height, and before we left I reached for a soapy rag to wipe it clean. Mom stopped me, saying, “Don’t touch that. It’s darling.”

The next time I visited, she’d drawn a square frame around the messy print and written “By Klaus,” along with the date. Another “happy mess.” I’ll be glad if I can be half the grandma Mom was.

Micah, circa 2010I’ve found plenty of my own precious art-prints after grandchild visits, like the ones 4-month-old Micah left while sitting in his Bumbo on the kitchen counter. He loved watching us prepare meals and was perched next to the glass cake dome. After he and his family had left, when the sun hit that glass, half of the dome was covered with tiny prints this little guy had left with his dimpled, drool-soaked fingers, and I experienced the same rush of grandma-love Mom must have felt seeing Klaus’ chocolate hand.

Though I confess to washing Micah’s artwork off my cake dome that day, it wasn’t before I “framed” his creation in my memory. Maybe when he visits next, we’ll bake some cookies together.

“Children’s children are a crown to the aged.” (Proverbs 17:6)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. Please pray for my visit with the doctor tomorrow, a specialist who will work on feeding tube issues.
  2. I’m thankful for a trip to Arkansas for dog-Sydney’s last day and the days following.

Safe at Last

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The aftermathIn the days following the 2001 terrorist attacks on New York’s twin towers and the Pentagon, everything that had been secure in our country suddenly became shaky. Peter Jennings came on TV at the end of his newscast the day after the buildings collapsed and said, “Talk to your children tonight, and assure them they’ll be safe.”

Nate and I had been watching together, and I said, “Children shouldn’t be told that, because it’s not true.”

We talked for a few minutes about the safety we do or don’t have in our country or on this earth and concluded it would be a lie to assure our children of something that isn’t a sure thing. The only guaranteed safety anywhere is in Christ, and that doesn’t include earthly safety. It’s only after death and leaving this world to live with the Lord that we can be sure no harm will come to us ever again.

Airport securityAfter 9/11, security measures in America were drastically heightened. Waiting in long airport lines became standard for flyers. Anyone who seemed suspect in any way was pulled aside (as Nate was here) and “wanded” or searched, but if it meant we’d be safer on airplanes, we were willing.

Times Square bombDespite added rules and more personnel watching over us, safety still wasn’t guaranteed. We witnessed the shoe bomb, the underwear bomb, the SUV bomb in Times Square, the Boston Marathon bombs, and others. What can keep the next angry bomb-maker from succeeding?

A widow friend told me recently of her battle with fear immediately after her husband died. She’d never spent a night alone and had difficulty sleeping for fear of a break-in. Every noise gave her a chill. Sadly, no one can assure her a break-in will never occur.

Our own daughters, while living in Chicago, walked home from work with pepper spray in hand. Two blocks north of their neighborhood a pair of friends had been clubbed with a baseball bat, both hospitalized after the attack with one critically injured.

So what are we to do about life as we know it, since we’re all forced to live in a world fraught with danger? The only answer is to trust God for our ultimate security, which may not come until after we die. Nate, having left this world, is now 100% secure. No more airport security searches, no more dangers of any kind. He’s untouchable.

In the mean time, we can try to keep our children safe while telling them about Jesus. We could also install alarm systems or even hire armed guards, but who are we fooling? Bad things will continue to happen to good people. Although our bodies and earthly lives will always be at risk in this shaky world, our souls can be secure in God’s unshakable care. Once we believe this, we can rest easy.

”In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, O Lord, will keep me safe.”