Category Archives: Children

To Win Favor

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In yesterday’s blog we watched one-year-old Emerald successfully learn to polish window glass by imitating her Aunt Louisa. There’s a certain amount of pressure in knowing young children are watching us carefully, wanting to do what we do. It serves us well, though, since the result is a desire to live “cleaner” in front of them.

Setting the TableI think of my granddaughter Skylar who was all into imitating her mommy the last time I visited her in Florida. Although she knew she couldn’t do everything her mother did with the same expertise, she could set the table for dinner, which was what she did.

Yesterday we wondered if we could imitate Jesus (our example) in the same simple way. Is such a thing possible? Or is it so far out of reach we shouldn’t even to try?

When I asked God for his answer, he reminded me of Jesus’ humanity. “Human…. just like you,” he said, “so yes, try to imitate him.”

The only thing to do was “watch” the life of Jesus to see what I could  imitate. Maybe it would be as simple as wiping a window or setting a table.

Here’s what I found:

  • He spent time studying Scripture, memorizing much it.
  • He separated himself from the pack of people continually following him, to carve out prayer time.
  • He lived simply, denying himself the creature comforts of his day.
  • He followed through on commitments.
  • He didn’t try to control people but asked questions, listening attentively for the answers.
  • He was willing to take risks with the establishment if it meant he could testify for God’s kingdom.
  • He humbled himself before others.
  • He never chafed under the burden of being an example to watching eyes.
  • He was quick to forgive.
  • He kept himself from complaining, even when he had reason to do so.
  • He endured hardship with patience.
  • He tolerated hunger.
  • He obediently stepped into God’s assignments for him, even tough ones.
  • He proactively resisted all kinds of temptation.
  • He accepted God’s call on his life.

Those are 15 straightforward ways any of us can imitate Jesus’ example. And if it would be easier to operate by one underlying principle that applies in every situation, he gives us that, too. He made decisions and successfully moved through his complicated life by using one Golden Standard to apply in every questionable situation:

Would he find favor with God?

Emerald and Skylar wanted to find favor with an aunt and a mommy, imitating them as their way to get it. The human Jesus wanted the same from his heavenly Father. And as the rest of us seek God’s favor by imitating Jesus, we too will find it.

“The one who says he abides in Him ought himself to walk in the same manner as He walked.” (1 John 2:6)

An Imitation

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Although our house is small, it has lots of windows. That’s mostly because of 12 across the back of the house, both downstairs and upstairs. Though I have no knowledge of decorating or styling a home, God is a pro at beautifying his world, and lots of windows lets us hitch onto what he’s done by inviting the outdoors in. But it’s a big job to keep 45 windows clean.

I’m grateful for Louisa, our chief window-washer in recent years, and now she’s got a mini-apprentice: little Emerald Louisa, someone else I’m very thankful for.

Receiving instructionThe other day I watched from a distance as Louisa patiently tutored her trainee, showing her how to use a squeegee and rag. Emerald watched her teacher once and immediately got down on the polishing part. As she wiped the glass, she’d occasionally glance back at her teacher to see if she was watching…. and approving. Once in a while she’d stop to pat her pudgy hands together in self-applause. She was proud of successfully imitating her Auntie Weezi.

Children are always watching, and much of their learning is accomplished through imitating. That’s why it’s critical to measure everything we do (and say) against a high standard. When babies comes along, most adults work overtime to clean up their examples, which ends up being good for both groups.

The question is, where do we find the right standard? Is there a way to appropriately measure what’s acceptable and what isn’t?

Gold measuring stickWhen my siblings and I were growing up, Mom steadily promoted the Bible as the Gold Standard of behavior. (Dad agreed, though was less “preachy” about it.) Mom would say, “The Bible is a measuring rod for life. Live by its principles and you’ll always do the right thing.”

It was a mouthful, especially that part about “living by its principles,” but her idea was sound, offering a gauge by which we could measure behavior, especially when we became parents modeling values in front of little ones.

As difficult as it might seem, God wants us to model our lives after the example of the “star” of the Bible, Jesus. It isn’t so we can win his approval but is for two other lofty purposes: (1) to lead satisfying, purposeful lives, and (2) to represent him well as his followers. We know we can’t be clones of Jesus, since he was sinless and we aren’t. But there are parts of his life we can imitate.

ImitatingCan we imitate him the same way Emerald imitated Louisa? Could it possibly be that simple?

Tomorrow we’ll find out.

“Be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us.” (Ephesians 5:1-2)

Studying the Pictures

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I love looking at photographs of Nate. Now that no more can be taken, each is priceless. When pancreatic cancer came along, a widow-friend advised me to “take lots of pictures of him.” That sounded odd, since I already had 190 photo albums in my basement.

Not himself.But there were two roadblocks to taking those pictures: (1) quickly, as the cancer gained ground, he didn’t look like himself; and (2) how do you snap pictures of someone who knows he’s dying, without making it awkward for them?

Once it was all over, I remembered what my friend had said and wished I’d followed her advice about photos, because we have precious few of his 42 days of illness. That’s why I often find myself in my basement albums studying the face of my husband.

What impresses me again and again is that in most of the pictures Nate has a child or two in his arms or on his lap. Not being a “natural” with children when we married, I’m reminded of how significant this effort was. These pictures, the ones in which he’s busy “doing” for his children (and by that, for me) are the ones that mean the most.

At Chuck E CheeseFor example, here’s one taken at Chuck E Cheese’s. The occasion was Klaus’ birthday (turning 6), and Nate is holding 3 week old Louisa, his 6th child, while trying to manage the rest of his own children and a dozen young guests. The Chuck E Cheese entertainment stage was in full swing with it’s robotic characters singing at peak volume, a frenzy at best.

Nate was working hard, and I knew he must have been hoping the event would end soon, so we could go home to normalcy. But from his place across a mob of children, he caught my eye and flashed a smile. It was one of those very private moments between a husband and wife in a very public place. And today it’s a precious treasure.

Taking care of businessAnother picture I’ve studied recently was taken on Christmas Eve. We’d lunched at Marshall Fields’ in Chicago’s Loop and were on our way back to the suburbs on the “L” train. (We only had 5 children at the time, though a nephew is also in the picture.) But once again, Nate is hard at work, watching over the precarious steps of a two and three year old about to stumble off the bottom of an escalator.

My photos are a poor substitute for the man himself, but they’re wonderful gratitude-boosters for the wife he left behind. Maybe it’s not such a bad thing after all that I didn’t take many pictures while he was sick. Seeing him in action (and in good health) is probably much better.

”Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God.” (Philippians 1:3)