Category Archives: Children

Faking it.

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Nate and I never planned to have 7 kids. When we did, it was fine by us, but with children spread over 17 years, our large family brought a few surprises. One was that we would be dominated by school schedules for 31 years (not counting college).

For most of those years, I had no trouble getting up in the morning, since babies and toddlers make good alarm clocks. But when the babies quit coming, getting up by 5:50 AM became a problem. So I began playing a trick on myself.

TimingI hated the thought of such an early start each day, so I set my bedside clock 11 minutes ahead. When the alarm sounded, the first thing I saw was 6:01, which was world’s better that 5:50. Enlisting those digital clock numbers in my ruse seemed to solve my wake-up problem. But it also made me ask what other self-deceptions I had going for me.

All of us can talk ourselves into believing lies of our own making: “It’s such a little thing,” we say. “How much could it matter? It’s just a few… a few dollars… a few meetings… a few exaggerations… a few minutes. No one really cares.”

A just weightThe idea of fudging just a little was well depicted on the cover of The Saturday Evening Post, October 3, 1936. An elderly lady paying for a chicken by its weight is pressing up on the scale from beneath, while the proprietor is pressing down from above. A little cheating wouldn’t matter. What’s a few ounces? But both had deceived themselves into thinking deceiving someone else was ok.

I confess I’ve struggled with “full disclosure” to myself on countless occasions. That’s because not telling the truth inside my head is sometimes easier and often works well in the short run. For example, I might think, “I’m going to start eating healthy any day now, but not yet. Eating what I want helps me cope with stress.” But is that the truth?

Most of the world has heard the statement, “The truth will set you free.” But as always, this promise is part of an “if – then”. Scripture says if we “hold to the teachings of Christ” (John 8:31-32), then his truth will set us free. Ultimately, truth is always linked to the Lord.

So, what is Jesus Christ’s teaching about self-deception? He says that if we consistently tell “little white lies” to ourselves, we’re at risk for three problems:

  1. small lies morph into bigger ones.
  2. deceiving ourselves morphs into deceiving others.
  3. regular lying morphs into trouble telling the truth.

As always, if we correct ourselves at the root of the problem (self-trickery), other more serious symptoms will fall into line. And eventually even our clocks can be set free to tell the truth.

“They all fool and defraud each other; no one tells the truth. With practiced tongues they tell lies…. They pile lie upon lie and utterly refuse to acknowledge me,” says the Lord. (Jeremiah 9:5-6)

Precious Jewels

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When my sister and I were little girls, Mom often sang to us at bedtime before kneeling to pray. One of her songs was:

When He cometh, when He cometh
To make up His jewels,
All His jewels, precious jewels,
His loved and His own.

Like the stars of the morning,
His brightness adorning,
They shall shine in their beauty,
Bright gems for His crown.

BroachI loved the thought of precious jewels, having seen them (fake glass ones) on barrettes, broaches, and jewelry boxes. So one day I asked Mom what the song meant. What jewels?

“You!” she said. “The words are talking about Jesus gathering you and all the other children as precious jewels for his crown.”

It didn’t make much sense but sounded lovely. At a bare minimum it was a stepping stone of little-girl-faith. To be called “a jewel” or “a gem” meant I was precious to Jesus, high praise back then and still today.

To make the jewel idea visible, we think of jewelry given as gifts. Everybody appreciates that kind of thoughtfulness, even though most of us will never be given jeweled crowns. We have been given other things, though, bracelets, necklaces, rings.

Gift of EmeraldNate had been my gem supplier and took advantage of every opportunity to bless me with modest jeweled items. After his death, though, I didn’t expect anything more. Then came Emerald’s first birthday. After all her gifts had been opened, Birgitta handed me an emerald-colored gift bag and said, “Midge, this is for you.”

 

Birgitta's giftInside was a beautiful necklace with emerald-colored stones set on the branches of a silver tree.

Among other things, her accompanying note (written on green paper) said, “You love Emerald like she’s your own, and that means the world to me! I love you so much, and I’m so grateful for your love and support.” It was a gem-of-a-gift that caught me by surprise and made a big impact.

As I wear Birgitta’s beautiful necklace it challenges me to think about my own gift-giving. Though I can’t go out and buy jewels for everyone I know and love, God has given all of us a book full of gem-like gift ideas we can use. Here are 10 of them.

He suggests we give:

  • food to the hungry
  • good deeds to the needy
  • money to the church
  • grace for second chances
  • hours of servanthood
  • hope to those who have lost heart
  • clothes to the homeless
  • compassion to the wounded
  • encouragement to pastors
  • the gospel to those who haven’t heard

And if we work at giving these, just as Mom sang, we’ll all be gathered up as “bright gems for his crown.”

“You must each decide in your heart how much to give. And don’t give reluctantly or in response to pressure, for God loves a person who gives cheerfully.” (2 Corinthians 9:7)

To Do or Feel?

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Birgitta loves to read and always has. Because of that, she’s hoping her little Emerald will turn into a reader, too. Although she’s only 12 months, she already has her own bookshelf in our “library,” thanks to Louisa’s “bring-a-book” baby shower. (A Word or Two)

Emerald loves to handle her books and turns their stiff pages with expertise. She knows how to feel the “furry” or “nobby” pages and how to scratch open the peek-a-boo panels on pages with hidden surprises. Today while she was “reading,” though, I noticed something interesting.

Making a choiceThough she had handled a dozen books and was sitting amongst them, the one she kept returning to was a grown-up book she’d pulled from a different shelf. It was a dusty old reference book I’d used in my writing (before PCs and the internet) titled “20,000 WORDS SPELLED AND DIVIDED FOR QUICK REFERENCE.”

Trying to figure out what she liked about this bland book, I experimented with her.

Four different times I coaxed her into one of her toddler books, but each time she’d eventually brush it aside to hunt for “20,000 WORDS,” the book with no pictures or touchy-feely pages. Then she’d carefully finger it with intense concentration.

ConcentrationMaybe today, looking wasn’t as important as feeling.

It reminded me of the way God sometimes works behind the scenes on us. We think he wants us to look at a certain situation with an eye to fixing it, when really what he wants is for us to feel it, not with our hands but in our hearts.

For example, we might read about a family in chaos where the children are being neglected, and we immediately want to do something to right the wrongs. But it’s possible God doesn’t want us to jump in like that. Maybe he wants our hearts to feel such a potent ache that it drives us to prayer for the family rather than trying to fix things. Maybe he wants us behind the scenes requesting that he work wonders amidst the chaos.

So often we think we need to do something, when in reality praying is doing. It’s doing the most powerful, most effective thing possible. The fact that prayer is mostly done in secret and that no one knows about it except God, sometimes makes it more difficult to do. But may we never think that pouring our hearts out to God on someone else’s behalf isn’t as good as accomplishing something visible for them.

Feelin' itAs for Emerald, a few years from now she’ll be able to understand those 20,000 words and probably read them, too. When she does, I hope she’ll use them to talk to God in prayer.

“When you pray, go into your inner room, close your door and pray to your Father who is in secret, and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you.” (Matthew 6:6)