Newlywed Love (#13)

Posted on June 6, 2017 by Margaret

December 27, 1969

Spending Christmas with my in-laws and then Nate’s was a good plan. Although we’d had mild opposition from both sets of parents about setting our wedding date months previously, there had never been any resistance about who each of us had chosen to marry.

I felt complete acceptance from the Nymans (right, with Nate’s mother; below, Nate with his father), and Nate knew he was welcomed by the Johnsons.

This cheerful approval was quite different, at least on my side, from what I’d experienced while dating my non-Christian boyfriend. Although Mom and Dad had always been kind to him when he was in their home, privately it was another story.

Dad, especially, had been concerned about the possibility of me committing to a partnership that would be “unequally yoked,” as the Bible put it in the King James Version. (2 Corinthians 6:14)

Both parents and nearly everyone else in my circle of friends had seen clearly that this boyfriend and I were not unified in our core beliefs, the important values that would control all the opinions and decisions of the future…. for both of us. Even Mary and Bervin, always encouraging, had advised us to break up.

During those 18 months of dating, Dad would often wait up for me when I came in from a date, even when I arrived home at 2:30 or 3:00 AM. When I saw the light upstairs, I knew he would be waiting in my room with a frown and a lecture.

Often these tense conversations included the warning that if I committed to this boy, I would be unhappy long-term. And to back up his arguments, Dad would often leave pamphlets and articles in my room about the difficulty of marriage between a believer and a non-believer.

I felt terrible guilt about causing Mom and Dad such angst as I continued to date this boy, but hadn’t been enough to stop me. It was only the arrival of another girl that became God’s way of convicting me to leave him.

Now, though, after having married a man my parents respected and would have chosen for me themselves, everything was different. Being with my family was marked by easy acceptance. And it included light…. and laughter.

Nate’s and my relationship made them glad, which then nourished both of us. And since I’d known the opposite reality, my satisfaction during our Christmas visit was considerable.

(Right, Mom distributes presents)

All of us exchanged simple gifts while we were together, but the most valuable one Nate and I received was the love and acceptance of both sets of in-laws – a gift that would matter on every holiday to follow, throughout the years.

“Welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God.” (Romans 15:7)

Newlywed Love (#12)

Posted on June 5, 2017 by Margaret

December 24-25, 1969

Nate and I were much like many other young couples. The holidays found us traveling to spend time with both sides of the newly-joined extended family. With our schools on Christmas break, we had plenty of time to clock the necessary miles and were looking forward to reconnecting with our folks and others.

We decided to spend Christmas Eve with Nate’s family and Christmas Day with mine, driving a large triangle with its sides measuring 137, 209, and 156 miles respectively. And we didn’t mind. Traveling along in his little VW gave us uninterrupted chat-time during which we dreamed out loud about our rosy future together.

As we drove, we talked about marriage “so far,” all 3½ weeks of it. Later, summarizing our conversation in my journal I wrote,

I’m amazed at how great an understanding Nate has of women and their needs, having had no sisters. He’s a psychological genius to me, especially in terms of my moods and responses. He always wants to see things from my side as well as his own, before making any decisions.

As the miles clicked away, I thanked Nate for working hard to understand me as a girl…. and also for the attitude of gratitude he championed whenever we were together. For example, since before we’d been married, he had thanked me for every single meal I’d made, whether it was a success or a failure. He thanked me for continuing to try at cooking and bought me two cook books in an effort to help.

He thanked me for cleaning the apartment – every time – even if I had only cleaned the bathroom sink. And he offered to share household chores, thanking me for letting him help.

He expressed appreciation when I did his laundry and thanked me for folding it. He thanked me for loving him and thanked me often for being willing to marry him.

All of this gratitude had established a sweet tone in our little home, and my natural response was to look for ways to thank him back. I often felt gratitude but wasn’t good at getting those thoughts out of my head and delivered to him. But he wasn’t keeping track.

As for me, I was sort of keeping track – at least enough to know Nate was way ahead of me. If ever there was someone looking out for the interests of another ahead of his own, it was him. And as we covered those 500 miles over Christmas, I realized how truly fortunate I was to have him for my husband.

In my heart I knew it was God who was behind the whole thing, guiding me to finally give my heart to Nate many months ago and then to say yes to his proposal. And I needed to thank Him for that every single day.

“Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good.” (Psalm 118:29)

Newlywed Love (#11)

Posted on June 4, 2017 by Margaret

December 22, 1969

Much to our delight, my friend Julie’s bedroom furniture arrived at our apartment a few days before Christmas. These 7 good-looking pieces transformed our bedroom from a hollow, echoing shell to a place of warmth and affection. The showy satinwood of which the furniture was made included delicate, inlaid pictures so intricate we wondered how any craftsman could have made them – back in the 1920’s!

Julie’s grandma had had the furniture custom-made out of wood from Australia, telling Julie the process had taken many months. The furniture had been her grandma’s pride and joy, but now grandma was gone, and Julie needed a place to store it until she could use it herself.

Since Julie (left) was about to depart the USA for a career with Campus Crusade for Christ in Germany, she had no use for furniture. Nevertheless, it was generous and gracious of her to let us “store” it, knowing it could be at risk for damage.

Each piece of furniture was topped with a quarter-inch sheet of glass that reflected light in surprising ways, sometimes decorating our plain walls with stunning rainbows.

As several moving men hoisted all of it to our 3^rd floor apartment, Nate and I watched in amazement, complimenting them lavishly on bringing everything to its destination without damage. Transporting slabs of glass took more effort than just the usual. We didn’t realize until later that these guys were probably expecting a hefty tip. At least I gave them each a drink of water.

After they’d gone, I couldn’t wait to paw through our wedding gifts for a set of brand new bed sheets. Unlike with our Murphy bed, everything would match this time.

Pure white seemed appropriate in view of all the “pure” activities that would take place in the new/old bed. And once it was neatly made, the only fitting thing to do was for both of us to joyfully jump in and mess it all up.