Category Archives: Disease and dying

This Day

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???????????????????????????????I have some note cards with an impactful Scripture on the front: “This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.” (Psalm 118:24) It’s a verse many have memorized because of its cheery philosophy, but I think the real reason we love it is because we hope some day we can do it.

Mary has been a champion at putting this verse into practice ever since she heard the words “pancreatic cancer” on February 15. Maybe that’s because when we’re healthy, we subconsciously think another tomorrow will always come.

Of course our brains know the truth. All of us will live a “last day,” and eventually another tomorrow will not come. But trying to apply it to the particular tomorrow that’s next in line is another thing altogether.

Hearing the frosty facts of possible terminal illness linked with our names, however, usually does the trick. That may be one of the many reasons God allows such frightening news to come to us. It’s an automatic jump-start to appreciating today.

I look back at Mary’s text messages from February and see how she has practiced being glad for each day. When I asked what she was doing one day she wrote, “I’m sitting in the sunshine that’s streaming through my windows. It feels great.”

Or when I said, “Is there anything you need?” she said, “I don’t need a thing. I’m surrounded by loving care every minute.” Or, one more example, “Are you nervous about today’s tests?” And she said, “My life is in God’s hands. He’ll get me through whatever comes.”

Mary’s behavior is a tutoring session in how to live out Psalm 118:24 (above). When our tomorrows become uncertain, we have no trouble ascribing greater value to our todays. I felt the same thing happen when Nate received his deadly diagnosis in 2009. Each new day brought new losses, but watching how fast he was changing caused each day to become enormously valuable, sometimes each hour.

One other group that’s good at being glad in their todays is children. They’re very adept at living in the now. This morning I found a picture (below) lying on my basement floor.

???????????????????????????????I have no idea where it came from, but the message was rich. I don’t remember who wrote it or what that particular day was about, but the gladness was so strong it funneled through that child and right onto the sidewalk.

As Mary and Bervin head into an uncertain future, it’s comforting to know she’s already mastered the art of appreciating each day. She’s following God’s specific instructions, and I’m confident he’ll reward her accordingly.

“I know the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me. No wonder my heart is glad, and I rejoice.My body rests in safety.” (Psalm 16:8-9)

Mary’s Prayer Requests

  1. For continued weight gain
  2. For peace of mind about the future, especially during the night
  3. Praise that pain from feeding tube is almost gone
  4. Praise for being able to travel to Michigan tomorrow

When Love Comes Easy

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If cancer strikes someone we love, it has a way of dictating an uncertain future for the one who’s sick but also for those surrounding her. In most cases, cancer becomes a family affair. Those who haven’t been demonstrative suddenly begin hugging each other, and everybody goes out of their way to be kind. Fresh bonds are formed, and declarations of love become easier to make.

These are some of the positives God brings when circumstances seem the most negative. But how much nicer is it when families have practiced kindness and love all along, before the crisis? None of us should wait for an emergency to work at forming strong bonds or to start hugging. Families can weather storms much better when harmony is already a way of life.

Receiving the albumThree months ago Mary turned 70. As a special birthday treat her children created a book of notes, photos, and greeting cards from family and friends, each one a tribute to their mom. Naturally her extended family was well represented in the album, along with scores of others. But when the messages were written, no one knew the birthday girl would soon be coping with cancer.

Life’s crises tend to come on us suddenly, often taking us by complete surprise. And frequently the chaos of crisis events doesn’t give us time to mend relationships or right wrongs before it’s too late. Regret sets in, and we are saddened to know we lost our chance to say and do all the good stuff before it was “forced” by circumstances. A better approach would be to steadily work at those things as we go along, day by day, keeping short accounts with those we love.

This week while texting back and forth with Mary I asked how she was feeling. Her answer was interesting. “I’ve been sitting in the sun [their condo has a southern exposure] reading my birthday book, overwhelmed by it all.”

Birthday book insideIf Mary’s kids had waited to make her birthday book until after her diagnosis, every single message would have made reference to her cancer, whether directly or indirectly, and the whole thing would have taken on a sad feel. How much more nourishing for her to be drenched in warmth this week, both from sunshine streaming through the windows and pre-cancer love radiating from her album.

SunshineLove should flow through all of us, certainly during times of crisis, but it should be just as evident on ordinary, nothing-special days.

“Let all that you do be done in love.” (1 Corinthians 16:14)

Mary’s prayer praises:

  1. Praise for feeling pretty good and sleeping well
  2. Praise for so many encouraging cards/notes
  3. Praise for the richness of God’s Word
  4. Praise for a supportive, caring family

Broken

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A week ago I blogged about the difference between believing in God and believing God. (An Important Preposition) Within hours of hearing the words “pancreatic cancer,” Mary had held up her blue cord bracelet and repeated the truth she believed with all her heart:”I’m believing God!”

Blue embroidery threadThe night we tied those cords around our wrists last fall, Mary said, “I couldn’t find blue ribbon, but I did find blue embroidery thread. I hope it lasts through our 10 week study.”

Our study is on hold these days, and though the embroidery thread has held up, it’s gotten thinner and thinner. A few days ago, Mary called and said, “My blue cord just broke.”

Her daughter Marta retied what little was left, but the next day that, too, came apart. We talked about the tightly-tied bond Mary has with her Lord and that her blue “bracelet” was nothing but a representation of the real thing. Her faith hasn’t wavered, and she still believes God.

The Lord doesn’t want us to put our faith in things that can break or be taken away, whether it’s a bracelet, a job, a bank account, a possession, or a person. That’s why his Word repeatedly emphasizes that he is the only everlasting, unshakeable, immoveable, permanent “possession”.

But the age-old problem of believing without seeing repeatedly plagues us, especially during times of crisis. God knew that would be a stumbling block for us, so he did something about it.

He sent Jesus.

Scripture tells us Jesus is the visible representation of an invisible God, and by reading the Bible (especially the 4 Gospels), we see who he is, how he lived, and what he said during his time on earth. We’re shown everything from his babyhood through his death (and resurrection) at age 33. We’re given the details of what his life was like before he was born and are even told about his 9 months inside the Virgin Mary’s womb. God knew we needed to “see”, and he showed us.

The bottom line is that as we get to know Jesus, we are getting to know God. And when we believe Jesus, we are believing God.

Mary isn’t worried that her blue cord is no longer prompting her to remember that she believes God. Her confidence was never in that 6 inches of blue embroidery thread but has always been in the God she couldn’t see, and she’s still believing him.

Mary's broken braceletBy the way, she still has her wispy bit of faded blue thread. She saved it for some special purpose down the road, which she knows the Lord will show her when the time is right. And maybe it will serve as a helpful visual for someone who is still on their way to believing God.

“Christ is the visible image of the invisible God… He made the things we can see and the things we can’t see… God in all his fullness was pleased to live in Christ” (Colossians 1:15,16,19)

Mary’s prayer requests:

  1. For God’s comfort of Bervin and her children
  2. For successful physical fortification before surgery
  3. For the surgeon, Dr. Truty