Category Archives: Disease and dying

Palpable Peace

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Yesterday, at a high-performance Chicago hospital, Mary, Bervin, and several of their adult children were on the oncology floor awaiting time in the conference room. They were there to listen to a handful of highly-reputed doctors explain what was happening inside Mary’s body, along with what they felt ought to be done about it.

praying handsAt my home in Michigan, prayers were going up every hour requesting wisdom, discernment, and understanding, both for doctors and also Mary and family. We prayed God’s preparation into all of them and also his peace, confident he had heard and delivered.

But the scores of steady prayers rising from Michigan were just a drop in a very big prayer-bucket. All around the nation and in several foreign countries people were praying for Mary in droves.

I attended one of those doctor-meetings with Nate and know the stress of those moments. Finding out if someone will live or die is about as difficult as it gets, which is why all the people who love Mary were unceasing in their prayers. And when the meeting began with each doctor taking a turn, a remarkable drama unfolded.

As Mary told it, “I’ve always been on the praying end of a crisis, but this time I was the one being prayed for. The presence of God’s Spirit in that conference room was palpable. I saw it in the behavior of the doctors and in the faces of my children.”

She went on to say, “In my 70 years, I’ve never felt the strong, literal presence of the Lord that powerfully.”

???????????????????????????????Many people feel that since we can’t see the spirit world, we can’t be sure of what’s happening there, but Mary testified otherwise. As she described yesterday’s events, she said she became aware of God actively answering thousands of prayers prayed over her. “I absolutely knew it,” she said. “It was real, and he was moving among us, accomplishing answers to those many requests.”

Mary said that as she sat listening to doctors, she was completely enveloped in a bubble of peace. Because of the nature of the meeting, experiencing such tranquility wasn’t natural. The only explanation is that it was supernatural, a gift from God, an answer to many prayers.

God isn’t stingy with this kind of atypical peace. He offers it to anyone who wants it, in any set of circumstances. He says, “Ask me, and then trust me to deliver it.” We don’t even need a life and death crisis for him to wrap us in that same unlikely peace.

The Spirit is ready, whenever we are.

“The Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.” (John 14:26-27)

Mary’s prayer requests (from Mayo Clinic, where they are getting a 2nd opinion):

  1. For courage and strength as additional blood test results come in tomorrow
  2. For Bervin and Luke as they try to be strong for Mary while suffering themselves
  3. For God to be glorified as “his power is made perfect in weakness.”

 

What’s your moving date?

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This week I cooked a traditional dinner, a “three-pile-meal” as we used to call them when the kids were growing up: meat, veggie, and starch. I haven’t done much three-pile cooking since Nate died, but I go back to it when others join me at the table.

This time, however, when I made such a meal, I did a little gambling. I had promised to make “cheesy potatoes,” Betty Crocker’s version of homemade scallops, which comes in a box. Since her products are laced with preservatives, I figured the expiration date didn’t really matter.

???????????????????????????????After dinner I said, “So… how were the potatoes?”

“Great!” said Nelson.

“Tasted fine,” said Birgitta.

“Especially good!” said Louisa.

“I’m glad,” I said, “because they were nearly 3 years expired.”

*            *            *            *            *

Processed food isn’t the only thing that expires. Eventually we all do. The dictionary defines “expire” as: to die out, to come to an end. When we use the word in reference to a human being, we mean they’ve died. A life has ended.

But God doesn’t see it that way and doesn’t want us to, either. Death is simply a life-shift to a new dimension and a new way of living. This is the reason Christians don’t fear dying. They believe earthly death is merely the route that moves them from one neighborhood to another, and it’s an upward move to be sure. In that sense, the concept of a human expiration date just doesn’t fit.

Ticket to heavenWhen Mary first received a diagnosis of pancreatic cancer she said, “I think I just got my ticket out.” In other words, she (and all of us) thought this was the beginning of the end of her time on earth.

She made her ticket-comment without fear or sarcasm but with a sincere belief in God’s truth about moving from the here-and-now to the hereafter. Though she didn’t know “how long she had,” she figured her moving date was about to come into sharp focus.

But today, after many tests and a long meeting with multiple doctors, she was told her “ticket out” will be dated far in the future. The experts are optimistic that a surgical procedure called the Whipple can remove Mary’s existing cancer (all in one place) and give her an indefinite earthly-life expectancy. Although the operation is both complicated and temporarily debilitating, they linked the word “cure” with a successful surgical outcome.

The Whipple

So, does Mary still have a “moving date” on God’s relocation plan? Of course. All of us do. But her ticket out, once thought to be close, has been moved to the vast unknown like the rest of us. And because of that fabulous news today, we are all singing, “Hallelujah!”

(BTW, the night I served those expired cheesy potatoes? I didn’t eat any, just in case we needed a designated driver to the ER.)

“If we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s.” (Romans 14:8)

Mary’s prayer requests:

  1. Clarity for the doctors as she seeks a second opinion
  2. Wisdom to make decisions over the next few days
  3. Praise to God for today’s good news!

Sister Sob Story

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This morning I had a meltdown, a 20 minute cry over my sister Mary and her cancer. As the days pass and additional medical recommendations are made for her treatment, all of us are increasing in hope for a brighter future than we first thought. Time after time I have to remind myself this isn’t a repeat of my husband’s rapid-fire cancer, and we are NOT approaching Mary’s final days.

This morning, however, I lost sight of that for a few minutes. But it wasn’t just that.

???????????????????????????????Mary and Bervin’s son Luke has been an extraordinary asset to his parents since her diagnosis on February 15. As a highly successful consultant to hospitals around the country, Luke has absorbed a wealth of medical information, not just about specific doctors and health care institutions but about patient care, therapeutic drug use, and diagnostic testing.

Since the diagnosis, Luke has been Mary’s medical champion and full time troubleshooter. Although I know only a fraction of what he knows, he and I jive perfectly on one thing: Job-One is to protect Mary from all harm.

For example, we’ve known from the very first day that too many phone calls, texts, and visits would overwhelm and exhaust her. So Luke and I talked about that and have steadily worked to shield her from an overdose of social life ever since.

Yesterday, for instance, a group of ladies very dear to Mary emailed me with the hope they could spend time with her today. I texted Mary for her opinion, but when I didn’t hear back, I made the decision to handle it myself. I told them a visit would be too much for her and that they shouldn’t do it. I wrote, “How about notes or flowers instead?”

Eventually Mary and I talked about their request to visit, and since these women were from out of town, she opted to let them come. This morning, as I mentally constructed an apologetic email to the ladies, it hit me that as passionately as I want to protect my sister from harm, I can’t really do it. And it’s not because of phone calls, texts, and visits.

???????????????????????????????Mary has cancer! And I can’t do anything to defend her from this enemy’s ongoing assault. That was the real reason for my morning meltdown.

As I talked to God about it through this day, he gradually convinced me that it doesn’t really matter if I can’t protect my sister. He told me, in no uncertain terms, that that’s his job. “I’ve got this,” he said.

And so, although cancer does have the powerful ability to cause meltdowns, God has the greater ability to protect Mary in whatever way he chooses.

“This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I trust him. Do not dread the disease that stalks in darkness, nor the disaster that strikes at midday. If you make the Lord your refuge, if you make the Most High your shelter, no evil will conquer you.” (Psalm 91:2,6,9-10)

Mary’s prayer requests: 

  1. For courage and confidence in the Lord 
  2. For God’s will to be done  
  3. Continued prayer for her kids

Thanks!