Sister-Advantage

Tonight this blog post is taking the first step on a long and possibly difficult journey. The day after Valentines Day, we as an extended family learned that my sister Mary had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. This discovery was like a sledge hammer to the chest, especially since Nate died of that very thing 4 years ago.

But before I share the details of these last pain-filled days, I’d like to begin on a positive note. So I’m posting a blog about Mary written in happier times, 3 years ago. Then tomorrow, we’ll hear from Mary herself, about her new diagnosis.

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Extra effortMy sister Mary and I were born 20 months apart. She’s older… and much wiser. Mary’s been my leader and defender since I was born, and I don’t deserve her.

For example, she’s given her last two Fridays to me as a painting partner at the cottage, priming and then semi-glossing the woodwork around all my new windows. In the process she also accomplished the thankless job of painting our “Harry Potter Closet,” the hard-to-reach cubbyhole under the stairs. But painting the underside of steps while lying on her stomach and twisting her neck upward was no problem for Mary. “I’d love to do it,” she said.

And that’s her, always saying, “I’d love to do it.”

Coffee MugYears ago one of my friends gave me a coffee mug that says, “No, I can’t bring 4 dozen cookies. Next question?” I love my mug and quickly related to its sentiment. Mary, however, probably wouldn’t be able to drink from it. She’d rather bake the cookies.

Mom once told me, “Next to your father, Mary is the most Christ-like person I know.” She was right. Mary’s always thinking one step ahead of the rest of us. For instance, she keeps my calendar commitments in her head along with her own, hoping she can help. She’ll say, “Do you have a ride to the airport on the 5th? If not, I’ll take you.” I’m thinking, “Where am I going on the 5th?” and she’s already arranging transportation. But that’s Mary, the biblical poster child for putting the interests of another ahead of her own.

M & MAs little girls we were polar opposites. She was quiet; I was boisterous. She was careful; I was sloppy. She obeyed the rules; I tested them. Yet somehow our relationship grew into a strong friendship that’s only gotten stronger with the decades. I’m continually learning from her sterling example and will never catch up.

When Nate had his cancer, she and I often left the house briefly to have prayer times in her car. When I held back tears at the cottage to spare children and grandchildren, beach walks with Mary were my safe times to open the flood gates. When Nate died, Mary was there, as she had been for days leading up to that. And in the 15 months since I’ve become a widow, she’s driven from Chicago to Michigan every Thursday to spend several days cheering and fortifying her grieving sister.

Best of all, though, is our relationship as sisters-in-the-Lord. Mary knows her Bible (because she reads it through each year), and I often ask, “Where is that one verse about…?” She knows. As a Bible study leader she studies Scripture intently and has, in the process, become more and more like its Author. As Mom said, Christ-like.

Beach bumsToday after cleaning her paint brush and pulling on her boots she said, “What are you planning to blog about tonight?”

I said, “You.”

“Oh no. You shouldn’t.”

But of course, I knew she’d say that.

“She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said.” (Luke 10:39)

Heroism

Yesterday I shared the story of our friend Adam Dominik coming into some well deserved notoriety for his expert handling of a Lake Michigan emergency. Thanks to him and a cross country skier, a man and his dog were saved from certain death.

???????????????????????????????Our family lived next door to Adam’s family for 20 years, and all of us were fast friends during that time. As a little boy he was darling, with a mop of curly auburn hair and a quiet disposition, wisely cautious and keenly observant. We always knew he would amount to something special.

For example, how many neighborhood boys would willingly cut the grass for us, volunteer to shovel our snow, and always ask if there was any way he could help?

Adam and his momHe was a tribute to his parents, who raised him with integrity and helped him develop character traits that would serve him the rest of his life.

As a youth he met Jesus Christ and surrendered his life to him. His valiant rescue a week ago, against all odds, wasn’t just a fluke, because God saw to it he was fully prepared for that chaotic scene. That night, while being interviewed he said, “I believe in God, and I believe he guided my steps here tonight…” The Sun Times mentioned his “devout Christianity,” and though Ad is reserved by nature, he didn’t hesitate to let the world know of his relationship with the Lord.

Although reporters did a good job with the story, they missed crediting the string of unusual circumstances to God. I believe he was the One who personally pulled together the pieces of that unlikely rescue, starting with Ad’s character development that caused him to attempt what seemed impossible. And here’s what else God did:

  • He caused Adam to go jogging in that area for the very first time that night.
  • He timed Ad’s departure from his apartment so he would run past the crisis area at the crucial moment.
  • Though there were only 2 people nearby, he opened their ears to hear the man’s cries.
  • Weeks earlier he made sure a hunk of strong rope was tied to a sign near the icy accident so it would be quickly available to Ad.
  • He measured the rope ahead of time to be sure it was long enough to do the job.
  • He prompted Ad to practice his Figure 8 knot that very morning, so it was fresh in his mind.
  • He heard and answered Ad’s quick prayer for the supernatural strength to pull up the large, wet dog and a 200 pound man while standing on iced-over concrete.

The story had a happy ending with both the man and his dog surviving, and it was no coincidence that it all happened on the man’s 40th birthday. I just hope he, too, recognizes that God was there.

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you.” (Isaiah 43:1-2)

Life is fragile?

The wonder of birth makes me wonder: How does anyone ever get safely born? And how does a newborn baby make it to adulthood, much less old age? How does it happen without getting derailed along the way, more often than not? Life is fragile!

Or is it?

Three days oldAfter watching Isaac’s birth, I’ve replayed the details in my mind again and again, reliving that natural marvel. And in the process, my old nemesis has dominated me, causing me to wander into flights of fantasy: “What if such-and-such had happened? Or that other thing? Or this one? Isaac wouldn’t have made it! So much could have gone wrong!” And yet here he is, on his 3rd day with us, sleeping safely and serenely in his infant seat.

Isaac had no idea how his old Grandma Midgee was fretting over his safety during those last moments before birth or how anxious she was when it took a few seconds for his just-born body to become animated and cry.

Midwives examiningAn hour beforehand, I had asked the experienced midwives if they were getting nervous as Linnea’s grand finale’ was coming close. For that matter, how did they feel at that same moment with the hundreds of other births they’d facilitated? I said, “Do you ever get stressed over all the things that could go wrong?”

“We don’t get nervous,” Jess said. “We get an exhilarating adrenalin rush and fresh excitement to meet the new baby!”

And suddenly I felt ashamed of myself. Their attitude was lovely. Mine was dismal.

I don’t know what either of them thinks about God, but I believe he’s not only the Creator of life but the Sustainer of it as well. He has always been and always will be actively ruling over “chance” during every single childbirth. Whether Isaac lives or dies isn’t up to a pregnant woman, a group of midwives, an obstetrician, a parent, or a grandma’s fretting. It’s up to God.

And that goes for all of us. (When will I ever learn?)

Not that we should be careless or reckless with our lives, but the ultimate outcome is in the hands of the Almighty. And because that’s true, my nervousness at the moment of Isaac’s birth was completely ridiculous.

If God says so...The bottom line is that life in God’s hands is anything but fragile. It’s more resilient than it seems, especially as we look at a new baby.

As for 3-day-old Isaac, if God says he’ll live to celebrate his 100th birthday, indeed he will.

“The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth…  He himself gives everyone life and breath and everything else…   for in him we live and move and have our being.” (Acts 17:24-25,28)