Listen Up

Last night I came across a hand-written page of information I hadn’t seen in years. It was a few brief notes taken on the back cover of a 5 x 7 spiral notebook. I recognized the data as my speed-scribbling during Nate’s doctor appointment in August of 2009, one month before we learned of his cancer.

Just wondering...Nate was scheduled for back surgery to relieve the pain of multiple herniated discs and needed a pre-op physical. Though his pancreatic cancer was advanced by then, we didn’t know anything about it, and except for his back pain, he felt fine going into the exam.

He’d lost 31 pounds in preceding weeks but had been trying to do so after breaking the 200 pound mark on the scale. By eating smaller portions and skipping desserts, he was approaching his goal and felt good about that. People were complimenting his weight loss.

Physical exam dataMy brief notes summarized the internist’s comments as he examined Nate:

  • BP – 142 over 98
  • Poor facial color
  • Weight – 178 (jeans on)
  • Fluid in left ear (no pain)
  • Wheezing in lungs
  • Lump under right arm (pit)
  • Lump over left collar bone
  • Blood in stool – recommends colonoscopy
  • Acid reflux – possibly an ulcer – blood

The doctor recommended a colonoscopy and endoscopy, promising to FAX the name and number of the correct office to us. And as Nate was being directed to radiology for a chest x-ray, the doctor said goodbye, telling us he’d call with blood test results in a few days.

That afternoon as we drove from Chicago back to Michigan, neither of us was worried. Sure, Nate’s blood pressure was higher than his usual 110/70, but we attributed that to his severe back pain, coupled with work stress. Besides, both of us had watched the doctor carefully, not sensing any apprehension on his part as he’d examined Nate.

In a few days, though, disturbing news began filtering back to us. “Your blood numbers seemed a bit off, so we’d like to do a few more tests.” Even that, however, didn’t bother us. “It’s probably nothing,” Nate said. He had lived 64 years with flawless health and had no personal doctor. Surely nothing was wrong.

It was a classic case of poor listening; we heard only what we wanted to hear.

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Physical stats aren’t the only things people mishear. Often we’re listening for information from God, but what we want to hear gets in the way of what he’s really saying. It’s difficult to sweep away the clutter of preconceived ideas and wishes, but if start there, we’ll gradually become better listeners.

The best way to accomplish that is to ask God to clear our minds of unnecessary information when we’re trying to hear him. He’s glad we’re listening and because of that, he’ll bless us with a clear focus.

And to our benefit, he’ll do that whether we’re listening to him, to a doctor, or to anyone else.

“Dear friend, listen well to My words; tune your ears to My voice…. Concentrate!” (Proverbs 4:20-21, The Message)

Eye Contact

Those of us who love Jesus Christ look forward to one day living in the place he’s preparing for us. The greatest perk of our hope is not that it’ll be a fabulous, beyond-imagination place, but that we’ll be able to look at and talk to Jesus himself.

Scripture includes several passages where eye-to-eye contact with Jesus changed everything for people. The most famous was when he locked eyes with Peter the night before he was crucified, but there were others. Matthew, Mark, and Luke tell the story of another important look-see, this one between Jesus and a woman.

The Bible tells us she was a follower of Jesus, someone who believed he was who he said he was. She knew he had healing powers and since she was sick, she desperately wanted to connect with him. She’d been hemorrhaging for 12 years without a let-up, like a woman whose period just never ends.

This was a terrible state of affairs, because in biblical times she would have been considered unclean. Surely she wasn’t married, since no man would have been allowed to touch her, and my guess is she was anemic and weak from all that blood loss.

Reaching for healingShe made the bold decision to touch Jesus without him knowing it, and for some reason she was close to the ground. Maybe after losing so much blood, all she could do was crawl. Whatever the reason, the best she could do was finger the bottom of his robe. But that was all it took, and she was healed (though her encounter with him wasn’t over).

Jesus abruptly stopped walking, turned around, and looked for her. Of course he knew where she was, knew her name and health history, and had consciously acted to heal her. But he wanted to pursue the relationship a bit.

As he scanned the crowd, surely she was watching his face, and suddenly their eyes locked. Scripture says she began “trembling with fear,” probably wondering what Jesus might do to her for her sneaky scheme. Would he be angry? Or maybe curse her for such boldness?

She fell flat in front of him as the crowd made room, and the words of her story came tumbling out. Jesus responded with kindness and affirmation of her faith. “Take heart,” he said. In other words, “Cheer up! Don’t be afraid!” And then he let her know he’d healed her purposely as a reward for her faith in him. But that wasn’t all.

The lookBefore he left her, he gave this unclean, outcast woman a brand new label, one she badly needed: he called her his daughter.

So on that day she received 5 divine gifts: healing from her disease, words of encourage- ment, an affirmation of her faith, daughter-status, and that wonderful eye-to-eye look.

And now she’s enjoying that loving look, every single day!

“Jesus…. turned around in the crowd and said, ‘Who touched My garments?’ And He looked around to see the woman who had done this.” (Mark 5:30,32)

Is younger better?

Recently Mary and I talked about what it’s like to be in our late 60’s. Our bodies don’t work as well as they used to, and we’ve become acquainted with the medical world in new ways. When we were young it would have been logical to think ahead to the ages we are now and predict that this is the way it would be, but we avoided that long-distance look.

All of us have a tendency to think that the way things are today is how they’ll be tomorrow. Day-to-day it seems to be true, but decade-to-decade, age-related changes show themselves.

Robert Browning.Robert Browning wrote a poem with an oft-quoted opening that put a positive spin on growing old:

“Grow old along with me!                     The best is yet to be.”

As a young woman I thought this was a charming statement but also that it stretched the truth. How could old age be “the best?” Maybe Browning meant that if his loved one and he remained together through the geriatric years, life would be good, or at least as good as it could be with age-related troubles.Today, just for fun, I looked up Browning’s poem, and it turns out those first two lines are actually the “bottom line” idea of a 32 stanza piece, but it has very little to do with how good life is going to be in old age. He zeros in on some of the losses of advanced years, but also points out the foolishness of thinking youthful years are automatically the best ones, just because bodies are at their best.

Instead, Browning’s poem is all about the soul.

He beautifully points out that both young and old ought to put less emphasis on the physical and more on the spiritual, telling us to take “hold of God who gives…” He says that a “body at its best” can’t do anything to propel the soul into a satisfying eternity.

That second line in his poem (“the best is yet to be”) refers not to good experiences with a true love on earth but to companionship with God in life after death:

Robert BrowningGrow old along with me!
The best is yet to be,
The last of life, for which the first was made:
Our times are in His hand
Who saith “A whole I planned,
Youth shows but half; trust God: see all, nor be afraid!”

Browning is right. Spending too much time dwelling on physical losses only frustrates us. It’s better to focus on soul-gains, not just the glorious eternity awaiting us (whether we die old or young), but on the spiritual gains we can make by reading and thinking about Scripture, learning how to walk in God’s ways, and enduring struggles with patience and joy.

So the next time Mary and I talk about feeling old, we’ll try to remember, “A whole God planned; youth shows but half.”

“Young men and young women, old men and children. Let them all praise the name of the Lord.” (Psalm 148:12-13)