Nelson’s journal 6/17/22

Posted on June 21, 2023 by Margaret

Scripture outlines the best way for people to live. Following God’s advice will guarantee satisfying, productive lives, but oh how difficult it can be to actually live that way.

In today’s journal entry, writing as a man with deadly cancer, Nelson tries to convince himself not to fear what hasn’t yet happened.

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June 17, 2022

“Been journaling a fair amount up here in Rochester [MN], our new home, since we arrived about a month ago. It’s been tough with all the pain and pain pills, to stay motivated to write and do academic stuff. Funny that the things you worry about seldom happen, and the ones you never think of, actually do.

Take my condition here. In years past I worried a fair amount about being gone from my extended family out in Hawaii or India or wherever I was traveling and missing things, thinking that maybe someday I’d regret it.

I thought maybe one day, when Mom gets sick or dies, that I’d wish I had been around. But believing I was called to be where I was, combined with Mom’s blessing on it, justified staying the course.

Then all of a sudden one day, in the ER in Kona, I was told “Cancer” by the doc as I was admitted for a 5 day stint. I bailed on the islands in record-breaking fashion and started living here in an apartment and even inviting Mom to live with us, and she’s been our roommate ever since.

Now she and I are spending time together, not mission-out on anything. The only thing is: we are not here because she’s sick, but it’s me instead. What I feared didn’t happen, but something else did, something I never thought about that brought about the same result, and even quicker.

Got the news May 10th, were on a flight the 15th, landed in MN the 16th, moved into our apartment the 17th. I had a MN driver’s license the 18th.

I feared all my partying might catch up to my health, but the cancer I have isn’t connected with smoking or exposure to chemicals, they tell me.

Worry for tomorrow is always a threat and constant battle, but it’s usually so misdirected and incorrect.

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“The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe.” (Proverbs 29:25)

Nelson’s journal 6/16/22

Posted on June 20, 2023 by Margaret

Nelson’s medical team has done a biopsy of the mass growing in his neck, dividing it into nine specimens. They’re looking for the “key” that will unlock the specific mutation of Nelson’s exact cancer. If they can find that, he has a chance of survival—at least for several more years.

Simultaneously, the rabid lung cancer is growing so fast that they decide to do a series of general chemo treatments while waiting to find the mutation. He received the first treatment on June 7, before he left the hospital. It felt good to actually be doing something to fight the cancer directly.

Meanwhile, Nelson felt energetic enough to do something he’s always loved to do: go car shopping. He liked everything about this hunt for a used but good vehicle, and though my car has been available thus far, he knew he and Ann Sophie would need one of their own eventually. Since he’s always been partial to Hondas, he began by looking for a Honda Pilot that would be good in the deep snows of a Minnesota winter.

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June 16, 2022

5 am.

I’m up here at our little apartment near Mayo. I’m thankful this morning for a lull in the action, for all the people who love me, for money to do all these things with, and that Annso and I never struggle with it or between us.

I’m thankful for our great marriage that’s always such a pleasure to be committed to, for friends who come by and all the gifts people send. For the friends back in YWAM Kona, for the Chemo treatment we have available to us thus far. I’m grateful for a little health coming back day-by-day, that I had a movement today already and it’s only 5:15 am.

I’m thankful for the turn the country is seeming to make toward a conservative leadership, for these “woke” people who act the whole way crazy so good people can see them for what they are and get rid of their influence once and for all.

I’m thankful for how tragedy brings people together and how two of my brothers are coming up to Luke’s place this weekend with maybe DY. I’m thankful that Rob and Ken are coming.

I’m thankful you knew all my days before one of them came to pass, Lord, and that they are written in your book. I’m thankful for Little Will, for Mom and Annso, the little group we have here at this apartment in Rochester day after day.

I’m thankful for our newly acquired Honda Pilot and how fun it is to see Annso drive it around, an SUV in America, and how nothing like that is running around Europe.

11 pm.

A good day overall. Lots more to be grateful for as we went along. Got the Pilot (a 2011) fixed up real good with some new brakes, and the dealer buffed out the headlights for me real good. All of it with the alignment diagnosis and hearing that mostly everything has been well-taken-care-of was good news to me.

Just $745 to get that info and the rest of it. No wonder they have the money to give you fancy waters and coffee while you wait for your car to get fixed. I told the service manager about my cancer, because he asked, and I think I made a new friend. He told me he would do whatever he could to help and even asked if I golfed or anything.

Of course I can’t right now, but the people in Minnesota here are some of the nicest people we’ve come across in ages.

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“What does the Lord require of you? To love kindness….” (Micah 6:8)

Nelson’s journal 6/9/22

Posted on June 18, 2023 by Margaret

Physical pain is something all of us hate. When it comes, we try to get rid of it asap. At other times we can bear it, though it dominates body and spirit relentlessly. Nelson is in that place, enduring suffering while understanding that it comes with the territory—the cancer territory.

(A footnote: At the time, I don’t remember him complaining or highlighting his pain in any way. Most of the time we didn’t know he was suffering at all. He smiled broadly for every picture.)

One happy development is that baby Will has become more content, smiling often and winning the hearts of the medical staff.

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June 9, 2022

Mayo Clinic.

Been dealing with draining lungs and doctors teaching these nurses to do it on me, which has been painful to say the least. I can barely stand it, but I’m trying to distract myself from the pain of the thing itself.

Physical pain goes so hand-in-hand with cancer, that it’s almost like you get desensitized to it.

Annso said she will drain my lung from here on out, so that’s good. I’m glad there are solutions at least…even if it’s painful to get them to work right.

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“Call upon Me in the day of trouble.” (Psalm 50:15)