Category Archives: Disease

In the Valley

Posted on by

It’s been a long 6 months for my sister Mary. When a doctor announces to a patient that she has cancer, particularly an aggressive one like pancreatic, her thoughts begin to spin fast while life abruptly slows down. It’s just one of the many oxymorons attached to this horrible disease, and Mary has had her share.

???????????????????????????????Though she’s had a variety of valid reasons to complain, she hasn’t. And though it would have been easy to melt into self-pity, she hasn’t done that either. Instead she’s been a walking, talking example of a woman who has brought pleasure to God by doing exactly what his Word instructs: Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. (1 Thess. 5:16-18)

God said, “That’s my will for you, Mary, especially now.” And she heard… and obeyed.

Actually, that’s his will for all of us, regardless of circumstances, and it’s a good idea if every so often we rate ourselves according to God’s directions. When I asked Mary if she’d like to say something special on tonight’s blog, she jumped right to his 3rd instruction above. She gave thanks.

“Thank the blog readers for their prayers. God has been incredibly faithful to answer them, and it’s such a comfort and encouragement to know I’m not in this battle alone. God is an ever-present help in trouble and holds me by the hand as I walk through this valley of death.

“I feel like I’m being cheered on by friends, family, and your wonderful blog readers who I’ve never met. They’re cheering me on just like that cloud of witnesses we read about in Hebrews.”

Mary has one more chemo infusion to go, after weathering 17 of them. And because she has remained within the confines of God’s will throughout her struggle, her feet have not slipped from his firm place to stand.

Her concluding word tonight was, “To have the kind of support and encouragement I’ve had all along is truly amazing! I am humbled, and so blessed.”

Maybe this could be the way God works all things together for good. Pancreatic cancer? The misery of chemo? Weight loss, nausea, fatigue, fuzzy vision? Mary is still in the “valley,” but her summary statement tonight is, “I am so blessed.”

We can all take a lesson.

I waited patiently for the Lord…. He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. Psalm 40:1-2

Blindsided by Bad News

Posted on by

Five years ago at about this time, Nate and I were shocked when his cell phone delivered some very disturbing news. It had to do with an invisible enemy that was shortly to become visible: pancreatic cancer throughout his body.

With hindsight being 20/20, we now see how the cancer was present and active throughout the summer, but it wasn’t until the test results from a pre-op physical (for back surgery) that alarm bells began clanging. His liver numbers “were off,” prompting the doctor to order a scan of the liver and pancreas, located next to each other.

Doctor's OfficeJournal words tell the tale: “While we were in the office of a new orthopedic doctor getting a third opinion on Nate’s spine, one of our other doctors called Nate’s cell. ‘The results of your scan indicate a mass on the liver,’ he said, matter-of-factly. ‘But don’t jump to any conclusions. Tissue is tissue, and we won’t know anything conclusive until we do a biopsy.’ The doctor told Nate he’d made an appointment for him and then said, ‘Be sure you keep it.’

A few minutes later as we stood in the hall awaiting the elevator, Nate was trembling from head to toe, his cheeks, his shoulders, his hands, but no wonder. He’d just been hard-hit with the words “mass” and “biopsy,” two words no one wants to hear.

“How’re you feeling?” I asked, enfolding him in a hug.

“It’s OK. We’ll get through it,” he said.

These simple words were meant to prevent jumping to a wrong conclusion, but when our eyes locked, we saw we already had. In the car we listened to an earlier phone message left by the same doctor Nate had just heard from:

“I need to talk to you right away. Here’s my direct number. And if I don’t answer, here’s my pager. And if for some reason that doesn’t work, here’s the number for the girl at the desk, who will come and find me.” We knew we were in a serious mess.

As we drove from Chicago back to Michigan I said, “If they need to do surgery on your liver, I want to give you a chunk of mine. People can do that, you know. And I really mean it.”

Nate’s response was off-subject. “I think I’ve already used up today’s pain meds for my back. It’s going to be a bad night.”

Storm comingA storm was about to hit, and both of us knew we’d need a place to run and hide. We also needed God to show us how to spot his blessings in the rubble, because at that moment, we couldn’t see a single one.

 

“My people will live in… undisturbed places of rest. Though hail flattens the forest and the city is leveled completely, how blessed you will be.” (Isaiah 32:18-20)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. Big praise about the new, stronger antibiotics: the feeding tube infection is beginning to heal and feels much better!
  2. Please pray for tomorrow’s infusion #12, that they’ll be able to find a good vein. Without a port, my veins are suffering. Hoping I won’t have to have a port put in.

Loud Objections

Posted on by

Last night at about 3:30 am, I was woken up by ear-splitting screeching coming from the woods behind our cottage. In my stupor I couldn’t decide if it was human or not, but as it continued for nearly a minute, I determined it was an animal. I found myself thinking, “Hurry up! Finish it off!” Whatever it was, it was in agony.

OwlToday I’ve tried not to envision what might have been happening out there in the dark. Was it an owl having dinner at the expense of a rabbit?

Before sin existed, every person and animal got along. One day that’ll be true again. In the mean time, much of what happens in our fallen world is unpleasant. Some of it is downright gruesome, like last night’s attack. God could have protected that poor animal and provided food for its foe another way, but he didn’t.

Even though humans aren’t attacked as food, we sometimes (like the animal being attacked) come to a place of shrill screaming. Our lives ebb and flow, dipping in and out of negatives and positives. Some of it has to do with the laws of nature just as the attack in the woods did: hurricanes, viruses, drug addictions, floods. And cancer. The labels are different for each of us, but none of us is exempt from situations that make us want to scream.

Although we often rail against circumstances, what’s rumbling beneath our objections is probably anger at God. Wise counselors say, “Go ahead and yell at him. He can take it.”

But should he have to? If we’re trying to lead godly lives, our response to the negatives ought to be, “Yes, I hate this, but because of God, I know good stuff will come from it.”

Our family has seen the truth of that repeated again and again as a result of Nate’s cancer and now Mary’s. For one thing, all of us are less likely to take the others for granted or to assume, “Life will always be the way it is today.” We’ve become aware, in a poignant way, that everyone’s hold on life is fragile. A second positive is that we’re thanking God continually for the years before cancer. As a result of living in a world that includes trouble, these two good things are now ours.

None of us would appreciate happy times if there were no bad ones. So we learn to endure, experiencing agony and uttering a shrill scream now and then, but bearing up under the misery, because at the end of it, we know there are blessings that can’t be gained any other way

“We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance.” (Romans 5:3)