Category Archives: Disease

The Chemo Room

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Mary is a trooper. She doesn’t complain and accepts what is. And what is, for now, is chemotherapy: every Monday for 3 weeks, then a week off, then another round of the same – for 6 months. That’s a lot of chemo and a lot of stress.

First there’s the anxiety leading up to the hours-long ordeal at the hospital. It isn’t that Mary is skitterish about needles. She’s a nurse by training and has never been squeamish. She bears pain well and gave birth to 7 babies without even a whimper. But waiting in the oncology department at a hospital? That’s rough, mostly because there’s SO much waiting.

IMG_6552Waiting to be tested, talked-to, tested again, given results, hooked up to an IV, and waiting through the infusion.  The system is first come, first served, and after each encounter with medical personnel, it’s back to the end of the line to wait again. Emotionally it’s difficult to pass the time in a crowd of very ill, very subdued patients.

Mary has come to terms with her cancer, but when she’s away from the medical world, she can set aside that reality for a while. Focusing on everyday duties common to people without cancer offers a respite from the exhaustion of pondering it all. But sitting in the chemo waiting room? That brings cancer front and center again.

And then there’s the infusion itself. It isn’t easy watching a bagful of poison drip into your system, especially when you’ve always been careful about what goes into your body. A chemo patient wonders: Will I be vomiting tonight? Or will the effects be minimal? Will I be too exhausted to do anything but crawl into bed? And if so, will I be able to sleep? These questions press hard in the chemo room.

IMG_8395Because of all this, daughter Stina put together a beautiful tote bag with comfort-contents, things she thought might help her mom get through 18 chemo treatments: a blanket, reading material, cozy footies, ginger root for nausea, mouthwash, a special water bottle.

Last weekend our ladies group did the same, adding to Mary’s stash: ginger tea, body lotions, sea bands for nausea, a scented candle, snack foods. She may not use everything, but we’re hoping she can feel the love behind it.

IMG_1764(1)When someone has cancer, we’re not always sure what to do or say. Most of us are afraid of being insensitive without meaning to, or even causing offense. But Jesus has the instructive word on this: “Love one another.” We may not always do it perfectly, but because Mary is who she is, she receives what she’s given with joy.

And we hope she feels our love surrounding her…. even in the chemo room.

“Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.” (Romans 12:10)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. Continue to pray against nausea.
  2. Pray for more energy to help Stina with wedding plans.
  3. Praise for a quiet day of rest today.

A Firm Foundation

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Today began with an event I’ve been looking forward to ever since we bought our Michigan cottage 14 years ago: the first stage of building a back yard deck.

CottageMost people would have either built the deck or given up by now, but complicating factors prohibited either one. In 2009 when we moved here full time, we hoped to retire and become part of a much quieter, slower lifestyle.

But as we were getting settled, Nate’s terminal cancer appeared, changing everything. Even so, I remember the day he and I walked from room to room talking of improvements we hoped to make in our home. It was a future-oriented conversation we both enjoyed while quietly knowing it wasn’t going to happen before he was gone.

Door to nowhereAs I moved into the sadness of widowhood, renovation plans were shelved, including the deck. It wasn’t until years later that it seemed right to pursue the list Nate and I had made during our house-walk. And now, a deck is about to be born outside our “door to nowhere.”

Since our property is on an incline, the boards will be 6 feet off the ground and in need of solid underpinnings, 4 X 4 posts set in 42” of concrete.

Digging holesAlmost immediately today the workmen ran into trouble. A foot below the surface, their tools hit a mysterious concrete barrier. Trying to dig it up proved futile, as did breaking through it.  So the men had two options.

One was to set shorter posts into the holes, hoping the new concrete would sit firmly on the old. The other was to reconfigure deck plans enough to relocate the holes. Eventually they decided that taking a chance on a wiggly foundation was a bad idea, and they rearranged the plans to where they could dig new, deep holes instead. A quality structure depends on a sure foundation.

In one sense that’s what Mary is doing with the misery of chemotherapy. She’s building the firmest foundation possible toward good health. She could have chosen a short-cut, skipping chemo and hoping the surgery she had would be enough to keep cancer away.

Instead she made the more difficult decision with a higher emotional and physical price tag. All of us who love her are exceedingly thankful. The firm foundation she’s building (requiring 18 infusions) will yield the strongest result.

Someone else who sacrificed absolutely everything to build a firm foundation was Jesus Christ. His goal wasn’t physical health but spiritual health, making a way for us to become righteous through him. And there’s never been a higher price to pay than the cross. As a result, we can base our faith on him with rock-solid confidence it will never wobble. His foundational promises are actually what Mary is standing on daily as she lays her own groundwork toward good health with 6 months of chemo.

And not too long from now, I hope she’ll find herself relaxing on a new, wiggle-free, firmly-founded deck.

“God’s solid foundation stands firm, sealed with this inscription: ‘The Lord knows those who are his’.” (2 Timothy 2:19)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. Praise that the chemo infusion today (#2) had less wait-time, and blood counts were still in acceptable ranges.
  2. Pray blood counts will stay high enough to receive infusion #3 next week, completing the first round of six.
  3. Pray against infection as white blood cells continue to drop.
  4. Pray against nausea, which was a struggle today.

The Choice

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PackageYou blog readers and many others have gifted Mary with everything from daily prayers to letters, greeting cards, flowers, books, cozy clothing items, two prayer shawls, health foods, and more. She’s made use of everything, gratefully wrapping herself in the blessings you’ve shared.

Recently we were talking about all this bounty and she told me (with exclamation points in her voice) how astounded she’s been at the way each gift has been perfectly matched to her need-of-the-moment. “Of course it’s God putting these things together like that,” she said, “but he’s using the generosity of friends to do it. It just amazes me.”

But I think Mary has something to do with it, too. Even in her debilitated condition, now with nausea plaguing her on top of fatigue, she’s making a conscious choice every day to embrace what people send. She could have chosen the opposite approach, thinking, “I don’t deserve these gifts. I’m just going to set them aside. Besides, I can’t read all the books, can’t absorb all the messages.”

Instead she has received each one eagerly, knowing it’s the Lord who’s behind the perfectly-timed arrival of every item. And she doesn’t want to miss anything he’s trying to say to her, through these gifts.

Jesus TodayAs we talked further, Mary gave me an example: “Somebody sent me Sarah Young’s new book, Jesus Today,” she said. During a discouraging moment I opened it to entry #9 and found God’s exact instruction of what I needed to do to lift my mood. Writing from a first-person point of view as if she was Jesus talking, Sarah wrote, ‘As you go through this day, you will encounter things that make you cringe, things that are wrong or ugly. […like cancer] Do not let them become your focus’.”

Mary went on to tell me how the devotional challenged her to “look the right way,” which is to look at Jesus. Ms. Young wrote, “You yearn for perfection, and I [Jesus] am the fulfillment of that deep longing. I am able to stay close to you as you walk through this sin-stained world. So look the right way – toward blessings, toward Me – and the Joy of My Presence will shine upon you.”

Mary marveled at God’s well timed delivery of personal encouragement that day, as he’s done over and over with the gifts she’s received. But when she said, “I want to choose to do that, to ‘look the right way’,” I had to smile. I’d say she’s been doing pretty well at that already.

“You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy.” (Psalm 16:11)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. Praise for sisters in “Club Chemo” who have come alongside with tips and encouragement 
  2. Praise that today was a day with minimal nausea; please pray that this will continue
  3. Pray for the strength to get through the 4 busy days ahead