Category Archives: Disease

Determined

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Keeping company with a toddler is a special delight. Just watching what he or she is doing is entertainment that never gets boring.

photo(6)Today the thermometer reached 86 degrees here in southwest Michigan, and we took advantage by spending lots of time outdoors. When I turned on the hose for Emerald, she became highly animated, even though it was just a trickle. “Wa-wa!” she shouted, using one of her new words. “Wa-wa! Wa-wa!”

I handed her a couple of buckets, a shovel, and a few rubber duckies, and she was off on a happy adventure. Pulling up a beach chair, I watched her play, a witness to her new discoveries with a hose and its wa-wa.

photo(9)Every so often joy would bubble up out of her and she’d start again: “Wa-wa! Wa-wa!” The simple pleasure of wetting the driveway and filling containers kept her busy for half an hour, a record for one-project-focus. Each time the hose inadvertently doused her, she would gasp with the cold but then continue on with her work, undaunted.

Emerald’s determination reminded me of my sister Mary’s. The lady isn’t having nearly as much fun as the baby, but she’s every bit as determined to stick with her project. Today she endured her first-ever chemotherapy. Not knowing what to expect, she and Bervin arrived early to be sure there was time for the blood draw, the hour needed for the results, the anti-nausea medicine, the half-hour needed for it to work, the process of establishing the IV line, and the 30 minute infusion itself.

They needn’t have worried. The waiting room was jammed, and the two hour process took an excruciating 6 hours. It was wait, wait, wait.

Determination is tested in circumstances like that. Though Mary said she wasn’t nervous about the actual infusion, she confessed to moments of doubt and fear during the wait. “Maybe chemo wasn’t the right choice. Maybe it won’t make that much difference. Look at this waiting room full of broken people, all of whom are suffering the torturous effects of chemo. Am I really becoming one of them?”

She said her tears took her by surprise, but maybe it was just the torture of having to wait so long to do something she didn’t really want to do.

???????????????????????????????Eventually her turn came, and her determination was kept strong by a quote she remembered from Erwin Lutzer describing what to do when feeling overwhelmed. “Glance at the lion, but gaze at the Lamb.” His reference was to Satan’s practice of pouncing on us to devour (as the lion), while Jesus (the Lamb) rescues, to set us free.

Mary determined to give only a quick glance at chemo while gazing at God as her Sustainer from the beginning.“There are still question marks over my future,” she said, “but I left the hospital thinking, ‘One down. Seventeen to go.’ And I’m determined to make it.”

“Whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report…. think on these things.” (Philippians 4:8)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. Praise for no side effects yet. Pray against nausea.
  2. Pray for hemoglobin count to stay in normal range so transfusions aren’t necessary
  3. Praise for Bervin’s determination to partner with his wife

So Much Good

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Today when I asked Mary for her choice of prayer requests for tonight’s blog, she paused. “You know,” she said, “I can’t think of a single request. Only praises.”

Beach bums.Of course some of her requests from recent days are still relevant, but she had no new ones. “I have so much to be grateful for,” she said. At the time we were sitting on a Michigan beach under blue skies enjoying 85 degrees.

I said, “Maybe you’re all about praises because cancer has rearranged the way you look at things, at everything.”

Mary agreed. “It’s so easy to take life’s good things for granted. Cancer changes that. Nothing can be assumed after that, not even the small things.”

It’s the old conundrum of not appreciating what we have until we’ve lost it. In one sense, Mary’s lost something important: good health. But as we talked, we realized she’s already gained more than she’s lost. After all, the only thing on her mind today was the many ways she felt like praising God.

“Ok,” I said. “Let’s list them.”

She jumped right in. “I praise God for a husband who has insisted I learn to say ‘no’ to people. It has always gone against me to say no, but during this season, especially after I start chemo next week, I know it’s the right thing to do.”

She went on. “I praise the Lord that my adult children and my grandchildren want to be with me, with us. After watching them rally around as they have for the last 2 months, I’ll never again take them or their love for granted.”

She continued. “I praise God for the cards, letters, and gifts that keep coming in! And the best part is that time and time again, exactly the right encouraging word arrives, just when I need it most. It’s God doing that, I’m sure.”

As I scribbled down what she was saying, she kept going. “I’m thankful for my new car and for driving privileges. After totaling my old one in an accident just before my diagnosis, we didn’t shop for another one, since I might not have been well enough to drive it. But here I am, driving again and enjoying it more than ever.”

And there was more. “I praise God for this beautiful summer day and time to sit in a beach chair, right in the middle of the busiest week I’ve had in a long time. Even this day is programmed with wedding planning and errand running, but for the moment, being on this beach is a balm to my soul.

It's all good.“Even the popsicles Stina brought to the beach just now were a wonderful treat. I don’t know what life will be like during 6 months of chemo, but today I want to praise God for these last weeks when I can honestly say I’ve had more good days than bad. I’ve decided,” she said, “that from here on I’m going to work at appreciating what I do have, rather than what I don’t.”

….a good philosophy for us all.

“Every desirable and beneficial gift comes out of heaven.” (James 1:17)

No requests today!

Calendar Wite-Out

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Most people are chased by a full calendar every single day. If nothing is written on the squares, it’s the exception, and the general rule is that over-commitment is better than under-commitment. That’s not a very good rule.

Wite-outMany of us travel through unique periods of time when God uses Wite-Out on our calendars for us, at least temporarily. For example, when a family emergency occurs. It’s shocking how quickly our calendar priorities adjust to let us rush to the aid of someone we love.

Another example might be if we have to go to court for something or are lucky enough to draw jury duty. At first we scramble and say no-can-do. I’m too busy. But somehow, because the law says we must, we do.

Mary’s situation is another instance of a cleared calendar. The day she heard she had a lethal cancer, her calendar erased itself. Figuring she had only a short time to live, she X-ed out everything except connections with doctors and family. And this, after having been one very busy lady!

But God didn’t allow that to happen without purpose. As Mary spent time preparing for and recuperating from surgery, she suddenly had hours and hours to herself, time the likes of which she’d never known. She slowed down enough to really think. About her history, her future, her possible death, her blessings, her losses, her relationships, her priorities, her Lord and his Scriptures. Quiet, uncommitted time was not wasted time. Actually, it might have been the most spiritually valuable period of her 70 years.

CacophanyIn our pursuit of maximum productivity, it’s easy to let priorities become skewed. But is it God’s nature to compete for our attention with a cacophony of other commitments? He’s told us that if we want a vibrant, life-directing relationship with him, he must be #1. As Jesus said, “No one can serve two masters.” (Matthew 6:24)

Each of us has the freedom to choose who or what we want to be in charge of our lives. A Wited-out calendar might occur because of something difficult or even heartrending, but being given unfettered time to think about and re-orient a life is a really good thing.

Mary is feeling great right now, and today she used the word “happy” in reference to her frame of mind. As the days go by, though, she’s been writing on her calendar again, and every day this week is already jam-packed. So she’s asked us to pray that she won’t become over-committed, and that all she’s gleaned from her cleaned-off calendar will not be lost.

With chemo beginning in one week, God may help her with that project in ways she can’t anticipate now. But because it’s him doing it, it’s bound to turn out really good.

“Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act.” (Psalm 37:5)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. Praise for organized Bible studies (after a visit with Bible study colleagues today) and the rich friendships that result
  2. Praise for 6 pounds gained!
  3. Pray for God’s discernment concerning new calendar commitments
  4. Pray for the strength to say “no” when she should