What’s to do?

When a family member learns she/he has cancer, those who love her are willing to do almost anything to help. But short of encouraging words and prayer, there’s not much to actually do.

That’s why something like a 5K run/walk to benefit cancer research feels good. It’s something we can do.

A bunch of Mary’s family and friends showed up at Chicago’s lakefront on Saturday, despite icy winds and temperatures in the low 40’s for this year’s pancreatic cancer walk/run.

The walk-runThousands of other participants beat us there, a mob of cheerful people among whom were 249 teams running/walking for someone they loved who’d been touched by pancreatic cancer. Many team names had their loved one in them: Robyn’s Cancer Kickin’ Crew, or Rich’s Rebels Against Pancan, or Mark’s Miracle Walkers.

Other team names were mysterious and intriguing: Land of the Kings, Peanut Heads, Polar Express.  Some were more obvious: HugSomeoneYouLoveToday, and WeLoveYouDaddy. Most participants were wearing purple, including tights or tutus, purple hats, boas, necklaces, or sparkly purple face masks. We saw purple-flowered leis, purple back packs, and purple painted faces.

In the opening ceremony, the MC reminded the whole mob why we were there: to raise dollars toward a cure for pancreatic cancer. But it was much more than that. Such an event fosters courage and offers encouragement to those among the purple throngs who were in the midst of their cancer battle, even some who had tangled with it and survived to “walk/run another day.”

End pancreaticOur Mary was there, too, cheering on “her people” and hostessing lunch when it was over. Some of our team performed valiantly. Son Luke came in 3rd out of thousands, and that while pushing his own son in a jogging stroller. At the other end of the spectrum were those of us sheltering babies from the cold wind, some of us using a car as a warming room.

All 25 of us benefited by being able to do something to fight the enemy of cancer, and it was especially meaningful to do it in honor of Mary, who very likely will benefit from what science is discovering.

Marchers for MaryAny health crisis is an opportunity for loved ones to circle the wagons and draw close to each other, and this weekend’s 5K was a chance to do that.

God has allowed pancreatic cancer to enter our ranks for reasons unknown to us, but what we do know is that he doesn’t allow calamity without attaching blessing to it. Saturday’s 5K was an opportunity to show family-and-friend-faithfulness by doing something for Mary…. which was a blessing indeed.

“The fruit of the Spirit is…. faithfulness.” (Ephesians 5:22)

Mary’s Prayer Requests and Praises

  1. Praise for a meaningful weekend with family
  2. Praise for so many people willing to run/walk at the 5K
  3. Continue to pray for this week’s choice of chemo hospital
  4. Pray for pre-chemo strength and continued weight gain.

Rest Well

Thank you, faithful blog readers, for the hundreds of prayers you’ve breathed out on Mary’s behalf. This sister of mine once said she felt guilty asking for prayer, as if it was somehow selfish to occupy people’s time that way. But she was forgetting how many hundreds of prayers she’s breathed out on behalf of others, and the resulting joy in doing it.

Last night when we talked about what requests she wanted to list at the end of the blog, she said, “I don’t have very many.” What she probably meant was, “I don’t have any pressing needs right now.”

Time to restThis is very possibly God’s summary-answer to many of the prayers prayed over Mary in recent weeks. Maybe he’s saying, “Ok, then. It’s time to rest. Don’t look back on your radical surgery of 6 weeks ago. I’m putting the finishing touches on your healing from that. And don’t look forward, either. The as-yet-unknown reality of chemo- therapy is a challenge for another day, not today. Leave that where it belongs, in the future. For now, just rest.”

While growing up at Moody Church, my sister, brother, and I used to sing this song:

Jesus I am resting, resting,

In the joy of what Thou art.

I am finding out the greatness

Of Thy loving heart.

[Jean S. Pigott, 1876]

Comfy place to restAs Mary wonders what to pray for, may that mental question-mark be her call to take a deep breath and sink into a comfortable chair to rest, while she ponders the “greatness of God’s loving heart.” And in that same hymn, there’s much more to think about:

 

Ever lift Thy face upon me

As I work and wait for Thee,

Resting ‘neath Thy smile, Lord Jesus,

Earth’s dark shadows flee.

The entire song, with its many verses, is really a prayer, as if the singer is trying to convince herself God approves of her resting. He has given her this quiet time of feeling good just to “be” in his presence, wrapped in his loving-kindness. And because Mary is a visual person, the last stanza gives her something to “look at” in her mind’s eye while resting:

Brightness of my Father’s glory,

Sunshine of my Father’s face,

Keep me ever trusting, resting,

Fill me with Thy grace.

After Mary’s chemo begins, her prayer request list may grow long, and we prayer warriors will be ready. But for now, we can all pray she’ll focus on resting well in the open-wide everlasting arms of the Lord.” (Deuteronomy 33:27) May these peaceful days nourish her heart, soul, mind, and body.

“Come to Me…. and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28)

Mary’s Prayer Requests and Praises

  1. For God’s leading in a choice of chemo hospital
  2. Praise for God’s grace and for feeling good today

The Blessing of Children

???????????????????????????????When God blesses two parents with 7 children as he did Mary and Bervin, he also ensures all kinds of ripple-effect mini-blessings along with them. Not only will the mom and dad have babies and preschoolers charming them for many years, but the school years offer their own decades of joy. Which is not to say there aren’t a few bumps along the way.

Mary and I have often talked about the difficulty we both had trying to spread our love and attention over each of our seven while we were raising them. But the up-side was their steady attentions to each other, not to mention the multiplied dividends so many children would end up returning to their parents, once they became adults.

During these especially difficult days of Mary’s cancer and its treatment, she and Bervin are experiencing that special loving attention from their grown kids. And it’s God who gets the credit for setting it all up this way.

Children come into a family “insisting” mommy and daddy serve them non-stop. None of us become parents because we want pay-back, but when it eventually happens (usually taking us by surprise), it’s pure delight. By the time children have grown into adults, we’ve gained meaningful friendships that nourish us every bit as much as we’ve nourished them.

And then there are those God-given gifts we receive through our adult children that are above-and-beyond, gifts like children-in-law, and grandchildren.

Jo and familyAnd so smack dab in the middle of Mary’s cancer and chemo, the Lord has gifted these two parents with a couple of these mega-gifts:

Their 30-something daughter, Johanna, and her family of five have just announced that a new baby will join them in October, putting Mary and Bervin into double-digit grandparenting!

Engaged

 

 

 

And if that wasn’t thrill enough, 20-something daughter Stina called a week ago with the exciting news she and boyfriend Evan had just gotten engaged! Mary and Bervin will gain a 5th in-law child, a young man they’ve already come to love.

And so the weeks continue on, a mix of positives and negatives for this family (as it is for most families). The important thing is for all of us to recognize God’s presence in both the good stuff and the bad, thanking him for all of it. His purpose is to teach us through  circumstances, and he’s hoping we’ll receive them with open minds and open arms.

And isn’t it interesting to note how often he includes our children as part of his lesson plans?

“Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.” (Psalm 127:3)

Mary’s Prayer Requests and Praises

  1. Praise that she could go back to attending her Bible study today
  2. Pray for the courage to face chemo well
  3. Continue to pray for wisdom in choosing which hospital for chemo