Category Archives: Disease

Setbacks

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The last time my grandchildren were visiting me in Michigan, I found 5 year old Skylar rifling through my trunk of board games, looking for something to play. I hadn’t seen most of those tattered old boxes for quite some time, and they brought back memories of when our kids were young, though not always happy ones. I remember often saying yes to a game but only reluctantly: “Just one, OK?” (After all, some of them could last for hours!)

Chutes and Ladders boxOne of the games our little boys loved was Chutes and Ladders. With the spin of a dial, game pieces would move ahead one square at a time, starting at #1 and marching toward #100, where a Blue Ribbon was waiting.

The only trouble was, this was a game that might have no end. The directions read, “Ladders lead up only; chutes lead down only.” And if players landed on too many chutes, the game morphed into a marathon.

Chutes and Ladders boardReal life is full of chutes, too. We call them setbacks. It’s especially true if we’re already on a path to some kind of comeback. But no restoration process is without its backward slides, whether it’s a reconciling marriage, a rehabbing addict, a healing widow, or, as in Mary’s case, a recuperating patient.

 

For the past several days Mary has been harassed by sharp abdominal pains every time she moves. It seemed localized around her feeding tube, and after the experts unclogged that, they expected improvement. But the pains continued, and so an infection was suspected. Twenty-four hours of antibiotics didn’t help, so today she underwent a detailed scan of the area. Dr. Truty’s report was, “Everything looks good.” One possibility, he said, is bowel spasms, which should clear up on its own.

Mary had been “The Poster Child for Whipple Surgery,” both before and after. She amazed the doctor, the hospital staff, and all of us with her eager-beaver approach to regaining strength. Maybe that’s why hitting a setback isn’t just about pain in the abdomen but also about pain in her spirit. And when anyone experiences the double-whammy of physical and emotional pain together, discouragement can’t be far behind.

But Mary has maintained all along that her hope is in the Lord and his Word. As she says, it’s an anchor that always holds. No matter how dispiriting the circumstances, God’s promises remain true. They don’t get worn out, spoiled, or out-of-date, and neither does he. Her Father is partnered with her for the duration, and as she needs an increase in courage, stamina, and/or optimism, he will deliver. She’s counting on it.

UP to feeling betterThen, in due course, just like with Chutes and Ladders, she’ll find herself bypassing the chutes and landing on a ladder that will elevate her directly to feeling better. And we hope it’s very soon.

“Heal me, Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the One I praise.” (Jeremiah 17:14)

Mary’s prayer requests:

  1. For abdominal pains to cease
  2. For permission to return home by the weekend
  3. Praise for so much uninterrupted time with Bervin
  4. Praise for family and friends who faithfully pray without giving up

The Best Laid Plans

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SanibelThe last week of March is normally the pivot of my sister’s year because her entire family gathers to share a long-standing tradition: a vacation on Sanibel Island, Florida. That’s 1 husband, 7 children, 4 in-law children, 9 grandchildren, and her.

We can credit Nate with “finding” Sanibel, though it’s been on the map for quite some time. He first visited the island in 1966 on a college spring break with his roommate. Promising himself he’d return one day, he finally did in 1979, with a wife and 3 children in tow. Sanibel’s unsullied beauty charmed us all and brought us back year after year.

???????????????????????????????Mary’s family, vacationing on Marco Island farther south, occasionally visited Sanibel, and eventually we convinced them to vacation there, too. The island became our extended family gathering spot where even our elderly parents joined in. Though a family financial crisis kept Nate and I from regular vacations after 1990, Mary’s family continued the Sanibel tradition.

Actually, they’re supposed to be on the island right now.

Plane tickets had been purchased. Road trips planned. Deposits paid. Twenty-two people had all but put their clothes into suitcases when cancer was found. As Mary and Bervin pursued medical facts and an accurate diagnosis, they encouraged the rest of their family to head for Sanibel anyway. “All of you should go,” they said.

But not one of them would.

Instead, they rallied around their parents and committed to staying close by and available through the cancer journey. Not once have I heard a complaint or an if-only from any of them.

I had one, though: “If only they could have had their time in Sanibel before finding cancer…. Or maybe afterwards.”

That’s when God brought me up short, as he often has to do. “Did it ever occur to you I kept them from going to Sanibel on purpose, for My purpose?”

Here are the thoughts the Lord gave me: “There’s virtually no medical help on that island. Even the hospital located off the island couldn’t compare to the world class medical care Chicago and Rochester gave them. You didn’t see it coming, but I saw Mary’s 104.6 fever. And I saw her cancer. And I kept her home to facilitate immediate, expert help.”

He went on: “I also structured it so that 20 family members would have an ideal opportunity to show love to Mary and Bervin by setting their own disappointment aside and rallying around them.”

Oh.

When something in life blindsides us, it’s important to note the timing. In the Bible we see God unfolding all kinds of intricately timed plans in the lives of his people, and he’s still doing it today. My knee-jerk reaction about a missed vacation was, “What a shame.” A better response would have been, “I trust you to know best, Lord.”

Thankfully Mary’s entire family reacted with nothing but love.

7 kids minus Jo“Put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.” (Colossians 3:14)

Mary’s prayer requests:

  1. For the newly-prescribed antibiotics to work well on the infection that’s developed around Mary’s feeding tube
  2. That God will work it out to head home Thursday to receive Marta (flying into Chicago from Arkansas Friday morning).
  3. Praise for some tomato soup today. Mary said, “It tasted so good!”
  4. Praise for reminders of God’s presence at Mayo’s. Today a volunteer piano player was singing and playing “How great is our God!”

You didn’t ask.

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FOBMary and I share the same taste in movies. High on our list is a set of clean-cut family films, Father of the Bride I and II. Tonight as Mary and I talked on the phone, a line from the second movie was rolling around in my head.

Nina and George, a middle-aged couple trying to cope with life’s changes, decide to sell their spectacular big home. Both are deeply attached to it but think a new place might bring a fresh start.

Immediately after selling, they learn their buyer is about to raze the house and build two in its place. George plants himself between the house and the wrecking ball, determined to save “his” home.

Mr. HabeebWith great alarm he says, “You didn’t tell me you were going to destroy it!”

Mr. Habeeb (the buyer) says, “You didn’t ask.”

*             *              *              *              *

 

There’s no way we can think to ask all the important questions in life. Had George thought to ask, he wouldn’t have sold.

In the last 40 days, Mary and Bervin have been bombarded with medical information, and at the end of each instruction they’ve been asked, “Do you have any questions?”

Most of us are overloaded at moments like that and usually say, “I don’t think so.”

Isn’t it nice to know there is a place without any pressure to ask the right questions? It’s in our relationship with God.

He says a time will come when he’ll send answers to our questions before we even ask them, and Mary and Bervin have experienced that already.

photo(118)For example, yesterday Mary’s feeding tube clogged. Despite Bervin’s mechanical know-how, he couldn’t get it functioning, and Mary was without nutrition for 24 hours. So today they headed back to the hospital for a repair or, if necessary, a painful surgical procedure to correct the problem.

Despite a valiant effort on the part of two “tube experts,” the flow remained blocked, and over hours of time, Mary was admitted and prepped for the procedure. At the last minute, however, a new tech appeared. “Let me try,” he said, and all of a sudden the tube cleared.

How often is a patient told, “You can climb off the table, ditch the hospital gown, and get dressed.” Mary and Bervin hadn’t asked God to spare her from the procedure, but he gave that anyway.

In another example, just before Mary transferred from the hospital to the hotel last week, a 30-something man with a serious infection was rolled into the room across the hall. A sad young wife and the man’s troubled parents told Mary this was his 4th surgery in a short time, and stress was running high.

As she sat in her empty room awaiting discharge papers, she wished she had something to give them. Just then a gift was delivered to Mary’s room, which she immediately shared with the folks across the hall. She hadn’t asked, but God had answered.

In Father of the Bride II, Mr. Habeeb gave George’s house back to him, but not before George had emptied his bank account. But our generous God delivers his positive answers…. without charge.

“I will answer them before they even call to me.” (Isaiah 65:24)

Mary’s prayer requests:

  1. Praise for the friendly competent staff at Mayo’s
  2. Praise for the cleared tube and aborted surgery
  3. Pray the change in formula will bring relief from abdominal gas pain
  4. Pray for serious weight gain, now that Mary is down to 109 lbs, at 5’7”.