Category Archives: Dying

Thanksliving

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Tom and BettyAdjusting to the death of a spouse is always a challenge, but when there isn’t a minute of warning, it’s doubly difficult. That’s what happened to my neighbor and friend, Betty, when her husband Tom collapsed in an instant.

The two of them were on their way from Michigan to Chicago’s Loop for a couple of appointments and a night in a downtown hotel. But while walking from the train, their lives took an unexpected, unwelcome turn.

Tom said he needed to sit down for a moment, after which he put his head back and lost consciousness. Thankfully a policeman nearby was ready to help, and in just a few minutes Tom was on his way to a hospital. But God’s angels had already escorted him out of Chicago and into Paradise.

Because Tom was a vibrant man full of positive energy, his absence has left a big hole in the lives of many, especially Betty. But there’s great satisfaction in knowing his eternity was and is secure. That’s because decades ago he had entrusted his life (and his death) to God.

I attend the same church as Betty and Tom, and last fall our pastor preached a series called “Thanksliving,” emphasizing the importance of living with gratitude. One Sunday he handed out rubberized bracelets with “Thanksliving” written on them, and Tom was quick to put one on.

The braceletLong after the sermon series had ended and most people’s bracelets had been put away, the pastor asked Tom when he was going to take his off. He responded that he wasn’t… just like he wasn’t going to stop thanks-living.

When he died, he was still wearing the bracelet.

Tom had made up his mind to be a thankful person, despite the fact that his life had been plagued with trouble – beginning with a motorcycle accident in young adulthood that nearly killed him and then derailed his first-choice career. But through that and other close calls with death, Tom refused to feel sorry for himself. He never complained.

Why is God so firm about insisting we always be grateful, even in dire circumstances? It’s probably because he knows that as we search for blessings, what we’re going to find is him. And when we lay hold of him, we’ll be lifted from a problem-focus to a possibility-focus.

IMG_5400All things are possible with God. But the power he promises to put into our situations will be lost on us if we don’t look to him with appreciative hearts. And that’s not all. When we choose gratitude, it’s our golden opportunity to give blessing back to God.

Betty will miss Tom for a long time to come, but after 45 years of marriage, I have a hunch the two of them were probably in cahoots on this thanksliving thing. As a  matter of fact, Betty just might decide to wear his bracelet herself.

The Lord says… “The one who offers thanksgiving as his sacrifice glorifies me.” (Psalm 50:23)

Difficult Directions

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All of us drive absent-mindedly once in a while, especially if we’re moving along familiar roads. But when we’re in new territory, we have to depend on the signs to be accurate.

A swiveled signA while ago I was on an unfamiliar 5-lane street during rush hour in heavy traffic when I came upon something strange. At the edge of a strip-mall parking lot, a stop sign seemed out of place and was confusing drivers on the main thoroughfare. Were they supposed to stop? Some were. Others weren’t. And cars leaving the mall parking lot were entering traffic without so much as a pause.

I turned into the lot and found a parking spot, then walked back to the stop sign for a better look. Sure enough, it had been tampered with, swiveled 90 degrees, causing drivers to do the opposite of what they were supposed to do.

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Early this morning, while trying to get my heart ready for Palm Sunday, I thought about the traffic flow into Jerusalem that day 2000 years ago. Of course it was mostly foot-traffic then, though there was one very important donkey with the Son of God sitting on it.

AdulationWhen adoring crowds pushed toward Jesus in a type of Jerusalem rush-hour, there was no impatience or road rage, only joy and adoration. His miracles of healing had shown people he could do things no one else could do, and everyone on the Jerusalem road that day was deferring to him as part of a plan to make him their king.

There were no stop signs, and popular enthusiasm was propelling Jesus in a forward direction. A few days later, however, the “directional signs” had been swiveled around. The zeal to make him king had come to a screeching halt, and the mob of well-wishers had turned on him.

Thankfully one person continued in a forward direction anyway, despite discouraging signs all around him. Jesus resolutely drove himself toward the cross and his own excruciating death while his supporters hightailed it in other directions. But instead of being influenced by the reversal of the traffic flow, he looked only to his Father for a definitive sign of what to do.

Although Jesus had been to Jerusalem many times, he knew this visit would be different than all the others. He dreaded it but continued his forward pace anyway.

Sitting in church this morning, I was flooded with appreciation that even when he could have made a turn, he resolutely kept going straight ahead, all the way to Calvary.

“He steadfastly set his face to go to Jerusalem.” (Luke 9:51)

Me, Myself, and I

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The Christian life is all about being other-oriented. Jesus put it this way: we’re to love others as much as we love ourselves.

That’s a tough one, simply because we come into the world all set to put ourselves first. If we aren’t sure of that, all we have to do is look at young children. Their behavior shouts, “Me first!”

Take two-year-old Emerald, for example.

EmeraldOnce in a while she’ll crawl up on my couch just to gaze at herself in the mirror behind it, the only mirror she can reach. She’ll talk to her reflection, make faces, tip her head back and forth, and jump up and down, all while intently watching her mirror image. And she smiles long smiles at herself as if to say, “You, Emerald, are my very favorite!”

This natural egocentricity is something we try hard to diminish in our children as we raise them. As soon as they can understand, we insist they say please and thank you, even when they aren’t feeling it, just to force them to focus on someone else. As we continue to train them, resistance to “me last” is common.

Truth be told, though, all of us have one foot in that camp. To put others ahead of ourselves we have to make a conscious decision, since even in adulthood it doesn’t come naturally.

Jesus was a faithful example of putting the needs of others ahead of his own. Following him through the Gospels, we see he was often hungry, tired, burned out from ministry, and stretched thin by nonstop commitments. He was so busy doing for others that he rarely did anything for himself.

Yet he never lost sight of his overarching purpose: to bring salvation to people like us. Without him and his willingness to put us ahead of himself, we would have been left to save ourselves, a setup for disaster. We could talk to our mirrors around the clock and never come up with a way to cleanse ourselves from sin.

If Jesus had refused to put others ahead of himself, we would be in a fix for which there was no repair. Instead he set self-interest aside and focused on us, enduring the cross.

Morning mirrorAs I look into a mirror at the beginning of each day, maybe I should talk to my reflection and say, “Subdue your me-first attitude today, just like Jesus did for you. And then do something for someone else as a thank you gift to him.”

“The aim of our charge is love that issues from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith.” (1 Timothy 1:5)