Category Archives: Faith

Nelson’s journal 5/10/22  

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On this date, Nelson is journaling on his laptop from a hospital bed. His pain and breathing issues had escalated rapidly, resulting in two separate trips to the ER.

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May 10, 2022 

Today is day 2 at the hospital, my second time coming in to the ER because the pain and coughing were so severe. Annso pretty much insisted I do it. I went to campus and taught the Korean Foundation School, then came home, ate a nice salad with her and came up here [to the hospital].

Once I was here, there was this really young doctor who zeroed right in on fluid in the lungs. Once I told him I was coughing so hard at night and that I was so out of breath, he ran and got a mini-ultrasound machine and found fluid in my heart cavity and lungs.

That led them to do tons of tests, including a CT scan showing a tumor or growth in my neck and a few lymph nodes in the lungs, about 11 cm at the biggest. All of a sudden the fluid makes sense, the cough, and none of it has to do with the Thyroid, which is what everyone has been looking at.

At this point the admitting doc calls me on the phone and tells me–she really thinks it’s cancer. So does the tech who does these scans all the time. They will test more tomorrow, including a full body CT scan to see what else is going on. Maybe there are things growing in other places, not that these places aren’t severe enough.

When she told me that, I could hardly believe it, but at the same time, I could. All the intense pain and coughing now add up. I even said a couple times, “If I was told I had stage 3 lung cancer, I would believe it, because it feels like I think that would feel.”

It’s yet to be confirmed, and I would love for her to be wrong, but everyone is praying and it seems a likely scenario. Lots of things come into perspective all of a sudden, but I’m trying not to go worse-case-scenario right away.

I think of what happened to Papa and wonder, “Will I be alive this time next year? Will I be alive at Christmas? Will I be alive still even in August?” Unknown for all of us, but especially me. I don’t know anything. But the people I worry about the most are Annso and Will. What will they do? How hard for them will it be?

I would have the easier situation, and they’d be left to pick up the pieces. How terrible. How terrible for her to be turned into a single Mom so soon after our answer to prayer and miracle baby. I don’t even want to ask WHY. Doesn’t matter, and no answer will come to that one anyway.

I just think of those who went before me and how they did it. Hopefully it doesn’t come to that and I can beat it, whatever “it” is.

God, help me to know what to do now, to be the best man to Annso, strong and optimistic, someone she can rely on and who knows what to do, the one who may not know, but who knows who to trust.

I pray for strength. I pray for healing, for a miracle, for different results on tomorrow’s test, for there to even be a mistake somehow. Thank you for getting Annso in here [hospital] today. That was a miracle [because of strict Covid rules]. I pray she gets in tomorrow too. I pray for supernatural strength for her too.

What will happen to us? To me? To Will? Tomorrow will worry about itself. Amen.

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“Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (Matthew 6:34)

Nelson’s journal 4/8/22  

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Baby Will’s struggle with some kind of stomach upset is still dominating everything in Nelson and Ann Sophie’s lives. All three are upset by the constant crying and inability to help him. At the same time, there are big decisions needing to be made in their ministry, including personnel changes, and Nelson is under pressure to make them.

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April 8, 2022 

Been struggling a bit with the division between Kokua Crew and being a new father. There’s tons of ‘urgent’ stuff at Hale Ola, but this morning, instead of a staff meeting and working about getting everyone to campus, I spent the time in a chair holding Will, trying to calm him down, which eventually worked.

I think I’ll stay away from the feeding thing. It’s always the same. Right when I get out the bottle, he goes ballistic. It used to work, but now, just having him lay there, even crying, is better than fighting with him. He falls asleep eventually. It’s the more peaceful option.

Speaking of peaceful options, I want to protect the integrity of the Kokua Crew program more than I want to make people happy. I pray for the strength to do that, Lord. If you want me to change it, I will. If you want me to speak the hard truth to certain people, I will.

How can I address the current problems without causing offense, Lord? Courage and strength. I did it before, I can do it again, even though it’s painful and I hate delivering bad news. Thank you for the opportunity, and I know that with that comes responsibility.

I pray for [family members] who experienced loss yesterday. I pray that their family would be stronger for it in the end, rather than weaker. I pray for wisdom to know if I have a part in this at all. I pray for wisdom to know if we have a future in the Midwest, and if we should make any sort or move in advance.

I pray for wisdom to buy the right Toyota camper for the trip this summer to see the Ark with Mom and the whole gang. I pray for wisdom to know and courage to do.

Wisdom to know and courage to do.

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The Lord says, “I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you.” (Psalm 41:10)

Nelson’s journal 3/26/22

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In the 13 days since Nelson last wrote in his journal, their baby had finally arrived. Though Ann Sophie labored hard for many hours in their apartment, assisted by two midwives, in the end it was a race to the hospital at midnight to make it happen. And Nelson “forcefully insisted” he be at Ann Sophie’s side through the emergency C-section, despite Covid rules.

 They named their little boy Willard Nelson Nyman—after his father Nelson, his grandfather Willard Nathan Nyman, and his great grandfather, Willard Nelson Nyman. It was exciting to see how they honored three generations with their name choice. They’ll call him Will.

The name Willard means “strong desire,” and their prayer was for little Will to have a strong desire for the Lord.

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March 26, 2022     

Day 12 of life with Little Will. We have John Hartley back with us. I’ll help him change the serpentine belt on his Jeep later this morning.

It’s really cool to have a son. Something I wrote off as probably not happening because it was too late, and because I messed up my life too much to get a woman young enough to bear children, or even be interested. God, you are so good to us.

You have put me into a place I could never have imagined. You have given me a girl beyond my dreams and a son. The Kokua Crew we have is amazing and the job here is even more than I would have imagined. Thank you for everything and for the things I don’t even know about.

Thank you that Annso survived the birth in good shape. Thank you that Mom was able to come out here and get a list for her prayer journal and that she and Annso talked about everything. Thank you for my rock solid heritage.

I pray for the service tomorrow that we can have a good turnout and that you would be found at our church. I pray for Jimmy [intern] and my service at the church in these last 4 weeks.

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“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord.” (Jeremiah 17:7)