Nelson’s journal 2/20/22

As the baby’s due date comes closer, Nelson and Ann Sophie try having a Sabbath—nothing but rest and worship. But they don’t quite agree on what’s restful. The future of the church is also on his mind, along with preparations for their son, who is due in less than two weeks.

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February 20, 2022

Had a wedding last night up at Little Red. Friends of ours came and said their church was having services just twice a month. Interesting. Let the Mojo go up a little higher and have something like communion or potluck there each time. Definitely something to pray about.

We are trying a real Sabbath today for the first time, where we only do rest and worship on the “day off”. Only Annso and I have a little different interpretation of what rest is I think.

Some of our friends want to have lunch out, and that’s not restful to me at all, but to Annso it is… or maybe it’s worship because it’s ministry. But ministry is our full time job pretty much. Well, it’s good to at least try for it instead of just to throw in the towel.

Thank you Lord for today, for Annso, for Debbie Crady who bought us the Nuna Pipa stroller. People are so nice, and you truly do bless us for having a family and even getting married in the first place.

Please guide our steps today and our time with our friends. Amen.

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“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God.” (James 1:5)

Nelson’s Journal, 1/28/22

Nelson continues his fast-paced work with YWAM where no two days are alike, while pondering what life would be like with a 9:00-5:00 job. Would he feel tied down? Would it mean putting permanent roots down in far-away Hawaii? Could he successfully become an electrician? Would this be the best for his family?

While searching for answers, he journaled a prayer, asking God what he should do.

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January 28, 2022

I am super grateful for what you, Lord, have brought us through last year. I read 2 books, the American Pilgrim and the Bitcoin Standard. Annso and I have the best marriage I could imagine. She has the best views on most things, and we think of one mind on many things.

She bought for me the book, The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry. I listened to the podcast of it a while back, and there’s probably no book that could apply to me more. I am trying and seeing if a job for Tim [electrician] will work. Might be a step in the right direction.

Our time in Kokua Crew is coming to an end I feel. There is so much hurry and urgency, which is good for a season, but, like many things, it’s not meant to last a lifetime.

Lord, I pray you would show me the way today, the way to speak to Tim about the potential job, that I can really act and pray like it’s totally up to you and I don’t have a horse in the race. I only want what’s the best for my family and where you are leading.

Thank you for leading us so well up until this point. You know my desire to have a trade and something I am really good at, something with a certification that I really know and people are willing to pay me to do.

I’m starting to read the book Annso gave me, and it talks about a fork in the road, taking the one less traveled. He brings his core leadership into a room and says, “I resign.”

For me, with YWAM, with Kokua Crew, and grounds, it’s the right move. Not sure about working as an electrician, but it seems to be the right way… less spotlight, less meetings. Resignation sounds good, actually.

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“Be transformed…that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” (Romans 12:2)

Lymphoma?

As Nelson’s hospital stay at the Kona hospital continued, doctors tried to pin down all that was wrong with him. Because of “unnumbered” nodules in his lungs, they went with lymphoma. Nelson was glad to hear it wasn’t lung cancer.

He had smoked off-and-on since his late teens but hadn’t had a cigarette for over six years. Surely that had been enough time to clean out his lungs from whatever damage might have occurred during his smoking years. And many lung cancer patients didn’t smoke at all, which meant, in Nelson’s case, it was possible he wasn’t responsible for bringing on the lung cancer. He hoped that was true.

From his journal:

May 12, 2022

I’m at the hospital for the 4th night now. Last time I was admitted here was in 2003 when I was almost killed in that wreck with [cousin] Andrew. This time, I might be here because I was reckless, too, [by smoking] but not recently. Maybe the mass in my lungs is from smoking or any number of other things that could give you lung cancer. It’s pretty much what I have. You never think it will happen to you, even though you have a chest pain once in a while and think of worse-case-scenarios like that.

Then all of a sudden a doc calls me on the phone after looking at a scan and tells me, “We found a mass next to your heart, and nodules without number in your lungs. Looks like general lymphoma.”

More tests and lots of coughing later, I’m here after having 1.3 liters of fluid drained from my right lung alone, in a hospital bed enjoying the buzz of a couple of pain pills as I stay here for the last night, hopefully.

It’s Annso’s birthday tomorrow, so I would like to be there for that if possible. She has been by every day so far. Thank God she’s willing to bend the rules when necessary, to see me. It would be super lonely without anyone with me.

Last night I had this panic attack, because I felt I couldn’t get enough air. Even just sitting here, I was out of breath, even on oxygen. [Cousin] Luke offered to help us get into the Mayo Clinic, if we wanted that.

We took him up on it, considering this island is a place where it’s hard to make things happen. When it’s something like a dryer you have on order that takes 12 weeks to get in and once it comes in, they don’t even call to tell you it’s in, you can laugh about it. When it’s your cancer scan results and they don’t bother sending them to the other doc or just lose them altogether, it’s hard to stick around and trust them with your life when there are other options.

I’m thankful, Lord, for Luke and his generosity, for BBC [Brentwood Baptist Church in TN] and theirs, for a total change of plans. For everything. Not what I would have wanted, but you can use it. I wonder how it will be. Like Papa? […died 42 days after diagnosis] Or will I get better, at least for a little while? NO one knows.

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“Do not throw away your confidence…” (Hebrews 10:35)