Could things get any worse? Part I

Nate and I traveled through some lean financial times in our four decades of marriage. Any young couple starting out while one is a full time student has to wear a tight budget belt, probably buckled in the last hole. But newlyweds are pretty good at living on love. They believe their flush days are right around the corner.

 

When Nate got his first lawyering job at a downtown Chicago bank, we figured our salad days were over, and gravy was on its way. That proved true for a long while, but then the meat and potatoes began to diminish, and the gravy disappeared entirely. A government law change had collapsed Nate’s business, and what little money he was able to earn afterwards barely had a chance to register at the bank as it “flashed” through his checking account.

 

We stepped up our prayer efforts as the crisis continued, deciding it would be a good idea to add fasting, too. Neither of us knew exactly how God applied fasting to prayer requests, but we both knew it would somehow add extra power as we prayed. We called it “Fasting for Finances” which sounds catchy but is really hard to do.  On “date nights” we’d arrange for babysitting, then drive to a parking lot and spend the evening praying in our car.

 

During those days when I spent time praying by myself, I’d write out the prayers (as I still do). This became a written record of desperation. I knew I should claim Scripture as I prayed, so I chose James 4:2, “You have not, because you ask not.” I prayed it back to God and said, “Ok! So I’m asking! Would you please send money? We need money!”

 

Then one evening we arrived home to a big surprise. It was raining in the downstairs bathroom, and not through a window. The entire ceiling was a rain cloud releasing its load, and the floor was a pond. Plastic ceiling panels bowed beneath the water-weight of several gallons each, and one had already given way, splintering into many pieces as it hit the ceramic tile floor. Woodwork was buckling, and plaster walls were cauliflowering.

Upstairs the toilet had apparently been plugged and was also running, so it had overflowed for many hours. The cascade had soaked through two stories and even into the basement. After we turned off the water, we stood back and surveyed the damage to the upstairs floor, the downstairs ceiling and floor, the soaked plaster walls and the woodwork. Smack in the middle of the most severe financial stranglehold of our lives, we were facing massive new repair bills.

 
Before the water had even stopped dripping, I was lashing out at God. “How could you let this happen?! We did all that extra praying and fasting, and now this is how you answer? We asked for money, and you gave us bills!”

 

But he didn’t say a word.

 

(…to be continued)

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.” (Isaiah 43:2)

Almost the Duggars

Last week while driving from Michigan to Chicago I listened to a fascinating radio interview of Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar, the Christian family with 19 children and TV fame. Our family had its own Duggar-esque experience in 1989 when my sister’s family moved in with ours for a while.

We were 12 children and 4 adults, morphing into a family of 16 for six weeks. The kids look back on that time as the highlight of their childhoods. Mary and Bervin’s family was adding a second story to their ranch home. Without water, heat or benefit of a roof, they needed a place to stay.

We begged them to bunk with us, knowing how much fun it would be, and they agreed, but with one stipulation: that they buy all the food for the duration. Of course Nate and Bervin wrangled over this, but I saw it as God’s lavish blessing. Our family was at its low point financially with Nate’s business collapsing that very year.

I’ll never forget the night Bervin walked in our front door after a day at work carrying a fresh watermelon. Nate and I hadn’t splurged on fresh fruit for many months, and the sight of that big watermelon refreshed my soul. With 18 around the dinner table that night (my folks included), that melon came and went pretty quickly, but it tasted sweeter than any I’ve had since.

During the weeks we were together, the chicken pox hit, as well as the school science fair, but we also celebrated several birthdays, a couple of graduations and a few blue ribbons for those science projects. There were no squabbles, despite having to sleep on the floor, cram into vehicles and wait for meals. It was a happy time for all 16 of us, and when my sister’s house was ready for them to move back, we mourned the separation.

Not everyone likes to “live large.” Having to wait for the shower or being without private space can be frustrating. But God is deliberate in putting families together. He matches up husbands and wives and calls some to be single. He sends biological babies or not, sometimes choosing to bring children from the other side of the globe to complete a family.  He asks some couples to be childless in order to parent the children of others. His creativity in grouping us knows no limits.

We can arrange or rearrange things to suit ourselves, but stepping away from God’s lead is risky. His best may seem endlessly “just around the bend,” but we can trust that whatever he’s preparing will be worth our wait. Putting people into families was his idea first, and he knows how to satisfy our needs to love and be loved.

I’m single now, but I’m not lonely, because God has called me to it. Remembering our Duggar-esque weeks as a mega-family, though, makes me grin… and want to take a nap.

“Father to the fatherless, defender of widows—this is God, whose dwelling is holy. God places the lonely in families. Rejoice in his presence!” (Psalm 68:5-6,4b)

Coming Up Short

At my house we’re still working with an ancient fuse box and the glass screw-in fuses. Since we had circuit-breakers at our last house, moving to the cottage brought an electrical learning curve. At first I couldn’t tell if a fuse was blown or good, and it was a guessing game trying to link their power with the area of the house they controlled. But gradually our fuse box and I became friends… until last summer.

My electric water heater would work fine for a couple of weeks, then go cold. I’d head to the basement, replace a couple of fuses, and it would work again, until a few weeks later. One day while at the hardware store buying fuses, I presented the dilemma to the clerk. “Are you using the right number?” he said.

“Yes,” I said, “two of them.”

“No, I mean the number on the fuse. They have different strengths. Check your fuse box. Sometimes it says.”

And sure enough, I’d been using 20’s in two holes needing 30’s, shorting on power to the water heater. After I corrected my error, all was well. If only life’s other shortages were as easy to repair: shortages of sleep, money, patience, energy, wisdom, all kinds of things.

Each of us has felt pinched in specific ways from time to time. For example, every new parent knows about sleep shortages and later learns about patience shortages when their children test them.

Nate and I had financial shortages for many years. Families in other countries find themselves short of food or medicine. People in jobs that require creativity find themselves short of ideas, and those needing physical strength in their work become short of energy.

But the worst deficiency is when we feel shorted by God, that he hasn’t come through like he said he would. We claim his promise to provide for our needs and wonder why we’re short on cash. We put him first, believing he’ll direct us, then wonder why we’re unemployed.

I’ve found it helpful not to look at the current-day shortage but rather at a past provision. It’s the manna principle. God told the hungry Israelites to collect only enough for “today”. If they picked up extra (except before the Sabbath), it rotted.

That’s often how we define our shortages. We say, “I made it through today but know I won’t have enough for tomorrow.”

If we apply the manna principle, we’ll focus on the first half of that sentence rather than the last. Manna always came just before it was needed. Anxiety over “tomorrow’s” food was wasted worry.

Today Skylar asked me for some juice. I knew she’d only want half so filled her cup that much. As I handed it to her, she threw herself on the floor and cried, “No! All the way full!”

I filled it to the top, thinking she must be thirsty, and handed it to her. She said, “Thank you,” and skipped off to play. Later I found her cup. She’d drunk only half.

“The eye never has enough of seeing, nor the ear its fill of hearing.” (Ecclesiastes 1:8b)