Category Archives: Financial Struggles

When charity knocks, open the door.

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I owe my friend Connie a phone call. She left a voice mail yesterday, and I haven’t gotten back to her yet, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t been thinking about her.

She and I have been friends for sixty-plus years, having grown up together at Moody Church. Among her many talents is being a fabulous cook. Since I’m not a very good one, I’ve always appreciated her ability in the kitchen and have gobbled up many a meal from her hands.

But one particular incident will always come to mind when I think of Connie. It involved food but no cooking, and it happened 16 years ago. On a frosty morning in 1994, she stepped through my kitchen door carrying two overloaded grocery bags.

 

Wiping the dishwater from my hands, I said, “What’s all this?”

“Never mind,” she said. “I’ll be right back.”

I followed her outside, oblivious to the winter winds, questioning her as I went. “What’s going on?” But I stopped short when I saw eight more big brown bags lined up in her car.

“The Lord told me to do something,” she said, “and I’m just doing what I’ve been told. You’re getting your kitchen stocked.”

“Oh no,” I said. “You can’t do that!”

But she deflected my objections. “Don’t get in the way of a blessing.”

Our family had been struggling financially for several years, and for me as a stay-at-home mom of seven, panic was never far away. This day a couple of my cabinet shelves were completely empty, shelves that once couldn’t hold their bounty.

“What do you mean,” I said, “by the Lord telling you what to do?”

“In Bible study this week one verse mentioned helping those in need. I knew it was God’s message for me to help you. So don’t object. I’ve gone over your head and gotten special permission.”

My eyes filled and I threw my arms around this true friend. I hadn’t told her of my rising fear over the near-empty refrigerator or mentioned that our dinners had boiled down to a choice between pancakes and soup. Yet God had, through his Word, given Connie specific instructions. Best of all, she’d obeyed. Knowing her family was also on a strict budget, I appreciated her gifts even more.

It’s difficult to accept charity. Giving is much easier than receiving. As I stood in my replenished kitchen that afternoon feeling guilty for accepting Connie’s groceries, God reminded me that charity is just another word for love. Connie had demonstrated godly love, which humbled me and simultaneously lifted me up.

 

Later that same day my four year old (who had witnessed the food delivery) made a wise assessment of what had happened. “Your friend sure shares good, Mom.”

I had to agree. Connie had stocked our shelves, lifted my spirits, impacted a four year old, and gained another star in her heavenly crown. 

I think I’ll give her a call.

“Don’t forget to do good and to share with those in need. These are the sacrifices that please God.” (Hebrews 13:16)

In his own words.

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While filing a document recently, my eye caught the corner of a paper with Nate’s writing on it. Naturally I pulled it from the file drawer to take a closer look.

It was a letter written by Nate to Nelson in 1996. The five page synopsis of his career is remarkably candid, touching on the business highs and lows of recent decades. Although Nate had never shared his personal financial data with his children or anyone else, on this occasion he laid everything out in full.

Nelson remembers receiving the original letter and being surprised at how much his father candidly shared. Nate wrote about a tortured period in his life, crediting an unbalanced love of money as the reason for his struggle, mentioning a bitterness that took root at that time.

Most men shy away from honest sharing, and Nate, too, had trouble being frank with peers. Below are parts of his letter (with Nelson’s permission). I share it because of its unusual openness and because I know if Nate came back to town with the heavenly perspective he now has, he’d eagerly tell these things to whoever would listen.

Although I won’t share the details he asked Nelson to “keep confidential,” here’s some of what he wrote:

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Nelson,

The text I constantly think of when I consider the role of the Christian man in American society is Hebrews 12:1 – “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud if witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.”

Actually the entire 12th chapter of Hebrews is encouragement to live a godly, Christ-centered life in the world – a world of persecution, boredom, temptation, indifference, ridicule, ease, sloth and human needs. “Run the race marked out for us.”

In other words, God’s chosen path for us, not ours. We don’t always get our first choice in the things of this world – sometimes we think we would have chosen a different body, mind, era, parents, generally different circumstances. But Christ’s mission for Christian men is to live out in a godly way what He has selected for us. We are to do so in a way that honors Him. We are to live as an example of Christ to our families, churches and coworkers.

The man who knows Christ wants to live for Him, but as imperfect humans, we fall short. Sometimes we fail because of worldly success and at other times because of failure.

In my life I went through a period of intense striving for money and the recognition it brings in the U.S.A. [Here Nate detailed his finances and how well he was doing at earning.] Then my partner had a stroke. One year later, the Congress passed the Tax Reform Act of 1986. This law reduced the net revenue of my company by $1,000,000 a year, and by 1989 bankrupted me.

I was unhappy when I had money, because I always wanted more. When I lost it, I wanted it back. I was unhappy and became bitter.

[To be continued, two days hence…]

“Whoever loves money never has enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with their income.” (Ecclesiastes 5:10)

Help for Beggars

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We got an early start today, leaving Michigan well before sunrise. After dropping Nelson at O’Hare, Birgitta, Jack and I set off on a day of adventure, starting with a big Chicago breakfast. We worshiped at Moody Church, then headed for “The Magnificent Mile,” joining in with the shopper’s parade along beautiful Michigan Avenue.

As we walked, we were both disturbed to see beggars on every corner. Some were shaking cups of coins, calling to passers-by, while others barely peeked out from beneath their hoods or behind their signs. We saw men and women, young and old, and all were begging for money.

Literally hundreds of shoppers streamed past, ignoring the beggars and their pleas for help. As Birgitta and I shared a McDonald’s lunch, we tried to answer the many questions prompted by the presence of so many beggars. Were they hungry as their signs said? When did they last eat? Were they homeless? Where did they last sleep? Did they have families? How did they come to this?

As we talked, new questions arose. Would it be an insult to put only coins into their cups? And if we put money in one, shouldn’t we put it in all? Should we carry a roll of bills for this purpose? Would McDonald’s gift cards be better? Or maybe a scarf? A hat? Would a smile without a practical gift seem cavalier?

My dad served on the board of Pacific Garden Mission for several decades, believing in their work with the poor. He used to keep PGM business cards in his pocket for the homeless, telling them if they walked over to the mission, they’d receive a meal, a clean bed and whatever clothing they needed. Were these cards a blessing to the recipient or a disappointment?

After leaving Birgitta at Union Station to travel with hundreds of other students back to Iowa, I drove home to Michigan, bothered by what we’d seen today. I felt guilty for not having given of myself or my money. Although I had cards for “GettingThroughThis” in my pocket, they seemed inadequate for such severe problems.

I decided to pray about these struggling souls, asking God what to think (or do) about them. His answer came quickly: “Take your cue from Jesus. What did he do about beggars?”

When I got home, I checked, and the one thing Jesus always did was help. But he inevitably connected it to faith in himself as God’s Son. He linked his practical gifts (such as healing) to the Gospel’s truth.

I thought back to Dad’s method of helping beggars, giving them the PGM cards. Because the mission offered worship services and presented the Gospel before meals, he had it right. His card was a ticket to both practical help and the truth of Jesus’ eternal healing.

So, what should Birgitta and I have done today? Gifts of money, hamburgers or hats would have been OK but incomplete. If we’re to follow Jesus’ example, a PGM card, a GettingThroughThis.com card or another piece of Scripture coupled with money, hamburgers or hats would have been much better.

Tangible gifts do help, but only temporarily. The powerful help of the Gospel goes on forever.

“Though [Jesus Christ] was rich, yet for your sake he became poor, so that you by his poverty might become rich.” (2 Corinthians 8:9b)