Category Archives: Financial Struggles

Newlywed Love (#26)

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January 29, 1970

RosesNate did something on our 2nd month anniversary that was completely unexpected. He bought me a dozen long-stemmed red roses! This was over-the-top generosity, since our finances were so lean, and I was astounded. He explained:

“I’ll never get over that I found you. I don’t deserve you, and yet here you are – married to me. All the roses in town couldn’t express my love for you.”

Nate's cardI heard his words, but as always had trouble believing I could possibly mean that much to him. My thinking was just the opposite – that I didn’t deserve him. And I certainly hadn’t done anything to merit a dozen roses or the “love forever” he pledged on the card.

But Nate’s love didn’t originate in my being worthy to receive it or performing well. It was just based on me…. self-focused, flawed me.

He was one of a kind. He listened carefully whenever I talked. He made no effort to sway my decisions or change my opinions. And he never criticized my many mistakes. Instead he spoke encouragement and heaped praise on me for even the small things, like doing the dishes.

Though I felt I didn’t deserve such devotion, it sure felt good to receive it. And it let me be me, without having to pretend about anything.

2nd anniversary card, frontAs I stood holding my gorgeous roses, I felt sheepish giving Nate my modest anniversary gift. It was a contemporary card that said, “We’ve got what it takes to have a Happy Anniversary…. each other.” (right) I had taped a picture of myself inside and written a note, thanking him for all the help he gave me around the apartment (below).

2nd anniversary cardAs I handed it to him, I apologized for such a minimal gift. He opened it, studied it, and said, “I couldn’t have wanted anything more. You’re giving me you! And in a pretty butterscotch dress.”

He took the roses from me and set them down so he could deliver some Happy Anniversary hugs and kisses. And as always, he had made everything turn out just right.

“A man’s ways are in full view of the Lord.” (Proverbs 5:21)

Random Act of Un-kindness

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Yesterday’s to-do list included the pleasure of picking up my firstborn at O’Hare Airport after not having seen him for ten months. Allowing the usual two hours to make that trip from Michigan, I added 45 minutes for a stop at Walmart to get groceries for Christmas Day.

The store was crowded, and I was in a big hurry.

After my list sent me to three of the four farthest corners of that expansive store, I was finally ready to check out – ten minutes “overtime” on my schedule. But when I found a line with only one customer, I was sure God was helping me.

checking outI plunked my items on the belt double-time, piling them two and three deep to get them all on at once. The check-out girl said to the woman in front of me, “That’ll be $19. 70.”

The customer stood with her back to me, her purse in the cart’s baby seat, arms leaning on the push-bar. It was the posture of exhaustion. Her elbows never left the cart as she rummaged through her purse looking for payment. Tapping my toe and checking my phone, I mentally berated her for not having it all together.

As she continued rifling through her purse, she didn’t say a word. She didn’t even turn in my direction to say, “Sorry.” An eternity of four minutes passed, and I could feel the sweat breaking out beneath my down coat. Apparently she felt it too, because she stopped rummaging long enough to take her coat off, folding it into the cart next to her Walmart bags.

As I considered unloading the belt and rolling my cart to a different register, I heard from God (in my spirit). “Margaret, pay her bill and get ready to share your faith.”

“Good idea,” I thought. “Then I can finally get checked out!”

Obediently I put my hand on my purse but found it hard to turn off the frustration. But suddenly the woman produced a Walmart gift card and handed it to the checker, which turned out to be not enough to cover the bill. Lacking four dollars and change, she resumed digging while I pulled out my wallet. “But Lord,” I thought, “it might embarrass her to just hand her money. After all, she’s paid part of the bill now.”

moneyI glanced at my phone. Five more painful minutes had passed when finally she produced a couple of crumpled bills and a handful of change. Her receipt rolled out of the cash register, the woman rolled her cart away, and my opportunity rolled up and died.

 

But God had something more to say.        [Next blog post]

We must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” (Acts 20:35)

In His Words, Conclusion

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Nate's letter to NelsonThe last two blogs have quoted from a letter written by Nate to Nelson in which he summarized his life, including successes and failures. The letter must have been difficult to write, as he was entrusting his grown son with confidential information he hadn’t previously shared with anyone.

My guess is that Nate was doing what all parents hope to do: passing along the valuable lessons he’d learned in the School of Hard Knocks. The letter still ministers to me, because he was willing to share such intimate detail about his failures and their consequences. We all know failure can be life’s footpath to success, but it isn’t easy to expose your heart to this depth of honesty.

Below is the conclusion to his 5 page letter as he tries to answer the question of what the Lord wants from him as a Christian man:

What does Jesus want me to devote my energies to?

Hating those who wronged me? Or seeking His guidance and working for Him and my family? As Christian men, we know the answer. In our “struggle against sin,” we take encouragement that the Lord disciplines those He loves. 

Now, when I practice law, I think of the heavenly reason why I do it. That is my “race.” Not my choice, but my “race.” There are missteps and down days, but the purpose is sure.  

Paul struggled with sin as all Christian men do. (Romans 7:7-25). Christ rescues us from sin. Service to others is paramount (1 Corinthians 16:15-18). We live as children of light (Ephesians 4:17-32) 

I share the details of my life with you so you can see the human difficulty of trying to live a Christ-centered life – we cannot do it alone. We must rely on Him every day. If we don’t, we all stray. We read His word and pray, or we lose to the world. 

Love, Papa

The pain of Nate’s struggle is evident in his words. Thankfully, he recognized the removal of his “fortunes” as God’s discipline after he had become too enamored with money. He also realized the Lord was disciplining him out of a heart of love.

I well remember the angst of those days of business failure and despair. Reading Nate’s letter, especially as he reveals his change of heart, brings encouragement to me today. It’s heartening to realize that through all the upheaval, Nate felt loved by God.

Maybe his words will lift another who is currently fighting a money battle, wondering where the Lord’s rescue might be. Although God did rescue Nate (on this earth), it had nothing to do with restoring the money he’d lost but everything to do with changing his heart.

“Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.” (Psalm 91:14)

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