Category Archives: Forgiveness

Young Love (#8)

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Life bounced along at a happy pace through Christmas, as I enjoyed the attentions of one long-distance guy and another up-close one. Both relationships were moving forward, and I didn’t see any potential conflict. I even entertained thoughts of what it might be like to be married to one or the other, but didn’t try to choose.

It had been a year since I’d seen Nate, and as Dec. 27 approached, I grew more and more excited…

…until an unexpected phone call knocked me for a loop.

getting-readyIt was Dec. 26, the day before Nate was to arrive, and when I picked up the phone, my heart stopped. It was my old boyfriend. Though it had been 9 weeks since our traumatic break-up, when I heard his voice, I melted. He asked if I might want to get together that evening, just as “friends,” and in a swirl of confused but lovely feelings, I said yes.

Since there are no letters written about that night, I’ll quote from my journal:

Dec. 26, 1968 – We went out to dinner at our favorite restaurant, and it was just like old times – beautiful. Since we were now “good friends,” he was eager to tell me about his new girlfriend. As he confided in me, I had all I could do to keep my jealous feelings in check. I had to silently pray for constant support.

He told me they were making plans to move in together. Though I knew I shouldn’t have been wounded by that news (after all, we were broken up), it absolutely crushed me.

But after he was done mentioning “her,” I enjoyed every minute, relishing the time with him. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. He told me he’d have to leave my house by 1:00 AM that night, but at 3:30 we were still talking. When we finally hugged goodbye, it felt good to be wrapped in his arms again. He told me he still “liked me a lot” and hoped we could have many more get-togethers. He left close to 4:00 AM.

I don’t feel much like seeing Nate tomorrow. I’ll have to really work at it. I’ve just got to get a positive attitude before then, or it’ll flop badly.

broken-heartDec. 27, 1968 – Nate comes today, but this morning all I can think about is (my old boyfriend). But I figured out that his new girlfriend is the one factor preventing me from going back to him and laying my heart at his feet, which would be an utter fatality. So, I see that she is the Lord’s answer to my prayers, His preventive medicine for me, and I absolutely must swallow it. It’s agony! But it’s 100% effective…

“This is the confidence that we have toward Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of Him.” (1 John 5:14-15)

Swept Away

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Over the holiday weekend, our extended family celebrated with a picnic and explosives, much like the rest of the country. But I had a little celebration of my own, too: I bought a new broom.

IMG_3566My trusty old one had swept well for years, but by the 4th of July, I finally admitted it had passed its prime. So when I made a trip to the grocery store and saw my broom’s close cousin hanging on a rack, I took it home with me.

 

IMG_3567My new broom didn’t cost much, but each time I pull it out, I get a little thrill. Sweeping is more efficient now, and even a bit fun.

I thought back to my childhood and the brooms Mom used, made of straw. They were heavy, stiff, and often left broken bristles along the way.

 

Bristle broomsBefore that, it was brooms made of tree branches, and preceding that, thin sticks tied in bundles. Compared to those, my new broom is the Rolls Royce of the sweeping world.

At my house, a broom is most often used for brushing up wayward sand from beach trips or nudging acorns off the deck. But of course there are a hundred other uses for a good broom.

Beyond all of those, though, are the many ways God uses a broom for his supernatural sweeping, and my little red one could never do what his does.

For example, during the miraculous Red Sea extravaganza, he “swept the Egyptian army into the sea.” (Exodus 14:23) And though I can only sweep what can be seen, God can sweep away the invisible with the same effectiveness, things like evil. “I will sweep with the broom of destruction,” declares the Lord Almighty. (Isaiah 14:23) God’s “wrath has gone forth, a sweeping tempest.” (Jeremiah 30:23)

One thing is certain – he never sweeps without a desire to make things clean. In the Old Testament he said, “I will make a clean sweep of the house of Jeroboam,” and then he proceeded to do away with every family member who was bent on evil, leaving only the righteous. (1 Kings 14)

That may sound harsh, but the Lord’s ability to sweep away evil has a benefit to us these days. Now that Jesus has died to save us from sin, God does something wonderful with his broom — on a regular basis.

cirrus cloudsAny of us who choose to surrender to him can watch him sweep “away their offenses like a cloud and their sins like a morning mist…. ” (Isaiah 44:22)

And there’s no broom that can sweep any better than that!

“What woman, if she has ten silver coins and loses one coin, does not…. sweep the house and search carefully until she finds it?” (Luke 15:8)

It’s in my head.

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Every Tuesday morning a small group of women gathers in our church library to pray. We try to take God at his word: that he hears us, acts on our requests, and has the power to change the lives and circumstances we pray about.

As we sit around an oval table each week, I sometimes think about God’s perspective. Though we believe he’s near, we also know he’s watching from his high position in the heavenlies. He sees us spreading out our prayer lists and knows we’re hoping he’ll do spectacular things in the lives of those we’re about to pray for.

GiftsBut he sees something else, too: the blessings he has prepared for those of us who assemble to pray.

We don’t ask for them, but our generous God has them wrapped and ready for our little group every single week. It might be an unusual prayer spoken over someone who is particularly precious to one of us. Or one of our Scripture cards might do something powerful as it’s read aloud.* Or it might be a direct word from him plunked into the heart of one of us during moments of silence between requests. Or, like today, it might be an insight shared from one woman to the rest of us.

Prayer mugs

The requests that come to us include people who desire reconciliation with someone else. This morning as we talked about forgiveness, we chose verses to pray over those people. And then we spent a few minutes talking about sins of the mind and how insidious they are, how difficult to route out.

That’s when God’s gift of new understanding came in a statement made by one of the ladies: “Why do you think Jesus died on a hill that looked like a skull?”

Place of the Skull.I’d never given much thought to the name of the place where Jesus died and what it meant: Golgotha (“place of the skull,” John 19:17). Though it’s named for its resemblance to a skull, might it include a warning to be especially vigilant to guard our minds against sin? After all, the grey matter inside our skulls is where sin-battles rage. Whether we’re making a yes-or-no decision to do something we know is wrong, or are wrestling with sins already committed that need forgiving, it’s all mental torment.

If we learn to attack evil at its starting point, in our heads, we have a much better chance of living victorious Christian lives. And today, as I understood the dramatic picture-link between “Golgotha” and the sins inside my skull (for which Christ died), I knew our generous God had given us yet another gift during our prayer time, this one an intensely practical one.

“Be transformed by the renewal of your mind…” (Romans 12:2)

*(God’s Wish List)