Category Archives: Friendship

Another one from Nelson…

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Ann Sophie and I (Nelson) read the Bible, 1 chapter every day and have done so in chronological order since we got married almost 5 years ago now. We’re on our second run though it. 

The funny thing is: if you do this and don’t skip around, your circumstances line up with the reading in an uncanny way. For example, right when I received my Cancer diagnosis, we started the book of Job. 

If you know the book of Job at all, the majority of it is consumed by a series of monologues coming from Job’s friends who visit him, all taking on a little different flavor. Some say he’s being punished for sin, others say he should do something or needs to realize something to make the judgement of God stop. Job’s own wife even delivers a shocking message of her own!

Either way, they all have a message for Job. 

I mentioned this to Ann Sophie and how similar it is to what we have going here (if you put me in Job’s position). Many people have come and gone since we moved to Rochester and everyone brings a message or leaves us with a feeling. Some come to help set up furniture (Thank you!!!) Some bring a word of encouragement or help take care of little Will. Some have known me all my life, and call almost wanting to say goodbye. I mean stage 4 lung cancer, right?

But the one common reaction almost everyone has though is this: Surprise. 

“Wow! I’m shocked by your optimism.”

“It’s amazing, you and Ann Sophie have such a positive vibe going here.”

“You sound much better than I expected.”

“You look better than I thought you would.”

“I’m so encouraged by our talk.”

“What a blessing is has been to see you, talk to you in person, hear your voice, etc…”

And I guess what I would say is that even though my diagnosis is grim on paper and maybe most folks who get what I have don’t last too long, I have just one approach at this point.

God gave me a beautiful little family. He also gave me a fairly good composition. The docs have given me good odds and told me about treatments we are going to try that my body is likely to respond well to. So many people have committed to us in prayer. I can hardly believe all the cards and letters and gifts we’ve been given. I’m even excited to be an encouragement to others who have what I have once we’re out of the woods at some point in the future. I have NO PLAN to say goodbye to anyone or get in that mode at all. Some might say I’m in denial. Maybe, But one thing I know is this: the war is won and lost on the battlefield of the mind and that’s the only battle I can actually control. And that battle actually controls the outcome.

That being said… and for me and my house, we are living every day like it’s the last and every day like it’s the first of many more to come. We’re committed to the God who can heal me and we are walking that out day-by-day. That’s my proclamation and the only way forward for us. There’s no plan B. I have the most dynamic, optimistic, beautiful woman on the planet and a 15 week old baby boy who need me to stay alive for as long as possible and alive is what I’m going to stay!

Love in Black and White

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This weekend Nelson’s cousin Luke invited us to come to his home for the weekend. As we drove the 80 miles there, Nelson asked me to read aloud an email we’d received yesterday. It was written by Kim, who is married to Luke’s brother Andrew…another cousin of Nelson.

Kim said she was representing Andrew with her words, since he couldn’t put his feelings for Nelson into writing. The result is a tribute to the friendship these two cousins have. It’s love in black and white. Nelson and Ann Sophie had read Kim’s email earlier in the day, but as we drove along the highway, Nelson asked me to read it again, out loud. “It was just so good,” he said.

So here it is, written by Andrew’s wife Kim:

I don’t really know Nelson, but I know Nelson-stories and know that if you don’t have a Nelson story, you probably want one. I have had the split-spray from Andrew’s laugh hit me in the face as he recalls the time he and Nelson got stopped by the police late one night in Hawaii.

I have seen cousins cuddled in their beds listening to Luke tell a “Nel and Dod tale,” and I’ve heard Nelson himself recount memories that make you wish they were yours. Like all good story owners, he is easy to listen to.

Andrew loves Nelson. Many times he has told me (sometimes even with a little excitement) that if things ever go south, Nelson is the one he wants to be with. He tells me Nelson has street smarts, common sense, rationality, capability, and then he says, jokingly, “You know, like me.”

This was intriguing to me. Andrew is the most capable person I know. In my eyes he can do anything. I remember once when we were newly married, I tried to hem a pair of curtains that did indeed go south. Andrew replaced the fabric and hemmed them himself. Is he really telling me there is an Andrew 2.0, or did I marry Nelson 2.0?

Once I sized Nelson up at the beach. Andrew and I were getting ready for a bonfire, and Nelson and Ann Sophie were with us. Usually when I get to the beach with company, we grab our chairs and take a seat. Andrew then hauls the wood down, digs the pit, gathers brush, and starts the fire.

This time, as Andrew was bringing the wood down, Nelson immediately began to dig the pit. Once he finished that, he went and hunted sticks for kindling. Then he went back and helped Andrew carry more wood. He didn’t sit down once. Like Andrew, he was a doer.

While he was doing all this, I was telling Ann Sophie, “Listen. If the world ends, Andrew already told me he’s going to find Nelson and the two of them are going to save the world.” I told her that any time I compliment Andrew, he replies, “But have you met Nelson?”

(….conclusion tomorrow)

“Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” (Proverbs 27:17)

Long Ago and Far Away

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Today’s blog includes something special that’s far away from cancer, hospitals, and medicines. As Nelson adjusts to being home from the hospital, we need a break from all things cancer, and maybe you do, too. So…

When Nelson was ten years old, he became a published author by writing a column for a booklet put together by a group of church moms who all had preschool children. The publication was called “The Crib Sheet,” and Nelson’s submission was for a regular column, “Children of the Heavenly Father.”

In 1983, this is what he wrote:

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My name is Nelson Hamilton Nyman. I am ten years old. I would like to write why I like having brothers and a sister. {Louisa and Birgitta had not yet been born.}

 

I like Lars, my brother, because he is only two years younger than me. He is very agreeable and loving. He is my best friend, and he will always be there, even when all my other friends move away. We can talk privately in bed, and talk about anything we want.

I like my sister Linnea because she likes me and thinks I’m pretty neat. She looks up to me.

I like Klaus because he is someone to play with when Lars is gone. He is a real nice boy, also.

Hans is the youngest of all. He is nice to talk to when I need someone to smile at and talk to. It is great to have them, because I have someone to play with most all the time. I am the first born child in the family, and that means that I have a lot of responsibility, because all my brothers look up to me and do what I do.

But someone who is an only child, they have to use the TV for a friend, and sometimes his or her parents are busy and don’t have time to play with them. There are times when I wish I was an only child. Like when everyone is crowded around the TV and I have the worst spot in the room. And like when Mom is busy with the other brother’s homework, and I need help, too.

But God wanted me to be in this family, and that is why I am here. And I know God is glad that I am happy with the life he gave me. The End

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I’ve enjoyed remembering back when Nelson was ten, and I thank God for those happy, busy days. But more than that, I’ve thought about Nelson’s last sentence in regard to what’s happening these days. Back then he wrote, “I am happy with the life [God] gave me.”

But I’m wondering–in light of everything–is that even possible today? Actually, I think I already know what Nelson’s answer would be, 39 years later:

“What is impossible with men is possible with God.” (Luke 18:27)