Category Archives: Friendship

Young Love (#28)

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Letters continued to fly back and forth between Champaign and Chicago, and the joy of making together-plans dominated our written conversations and my journal entries.

From the journal:

I have gained all kinds of new respect for Nate and want to be with him more and more. I’m sure of my love for him and secure in his love for me. He is the finest boy I’ve ever dated. He’s a leader, is organized, is a go-getter, a Christian, an intellectual, a good communicator, and he touches tenderly. He thrives under pressure and is completely responsible. I love all of it!

We’ve begun talking in specifics about rings, dates, jobs, where to live. Boy, is it fun! We’re praying about everything. We know that if we ever forget the Lord, we’ll mess the whole thing up.

May 7, 1969 – Dearest Meg. I received your wonderful letter of Sunday. Good girl to write, but not in church. [My last letter had been written in church.] Thank you very much! You want to be my wife, and that’s exactly who I want to fill the position. I love you very much; writing is a poor surrogate for seeing, but writing you daily gives me some release of the tension of not being with you. This week I’m thinking back to last week, remembering what we were doing at the same time, and almost get sick that you’re not with me. I could hug and squeeze you!

position-filledMay 7, 1969 – Dear Nate. One of my roommates told me that while I was gone last week someone tried to break into our apartment via that rear door in our bedroom. It sounded like they had a key. And it happened twice! We’re trying to think up some logical, harmless explanation.

May 9, 1969 – Dearest Meg. What about that break-in? Watch out if it really was an attempted break-in. Most burglars are drug addicts (80%). Look for pry marks near the lock. Tell your landlord. Tell the police. Get a chain and bolt for the door. As for me, I’ll finish that nasty old Corporations paper by Friday night and then it’ll be the final drive for finals study. I love you very much and would love if we were formally engaged at Christmas and married by next August. We should look into you teaching here after we’re married… and where to take the honeymoon!

May 9, 1969 – Dear Nate. I love you so very much, and today especially have been thinking constantly about being married to you, being your wife, and how I want to wait on you, and to begin finding out all the depths and heights of you, my husband. I’m so lucky!

May 9, 1969 – Dearest Meg. I hope to finish writing my paper today and then check it over tomorrow. I’m not such a hot “would-be lawyer” (i.e. law student) but I have faith the Lord will get me through school and the bar exam. Actually I don’t mind law school or law exams, but I really dislike papers. Anyhow, this one will soon be done.

sooo-muchMay 9, 1969 – Dear Nate. My heart is beating fast, and my stomach has butterflies. The idea of marriage to you is hitting home, and it’s the most pleasant of thoughts! I’m going to love and love and love you, day after day after day. I love Nate. Oh to be with you now. Soooo much to talk of!        Love, love, Meg

May 10, 1969 – Dearest Meg. I love you so much and want to be with you and marry you. You are my beautiful one, the only woman in my life. I will work hard to take good care of you. I love you completely and hope that faith in Christ will help me keep all the vows of marriage and keep us in unity with Jesus.

“Seek the Kingdom of God above all else and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” (Proverbs 3:5)

Young Love (#27)

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After a turbulent week, something new and important began to dawn on me, something that would have a strong influence on Nate’s and my relationship. God began to show me the incredible depth of Nate’s love for me. It was patient, kind, not envious, not boasting, not proud. It wasn’t dishonoring, wasn’t self-seeking or easily angered. It kept no record of wrongs, didn’t delight in evil but rejoiced in the truth. It protected, trusted, persevered.

I thought of how Nate had literally demonstrated each one of those loving qualities when I so often had pushed him to the limits of love. And his response had always been… to love more.

Like a bolt out of the blue I realized Nate had been loving me exactly as the biblical “love chapter” (1 Corinthians 13) described. My eyes popped wide open as I recognized a love that was as strong as any love could ever be. And right then I made up my mind… to marry Nate.

April 23, 1969 – Dear Nate. I love you very much, despite this strange distance between us. I have the love of a fine man who even loves me unconditionally – whether my love in return is committed to him or not. What greater security and faithfulness could a girl desire? You’re the most terrific thing walking. When I actually sit down and think about all your qualities, I see you are an amazing, fantastic, wonderful person. Oooo, do I love you, Nate!

And… I want to marry you!

                                ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

joyfulIn response to this letter, Nate called. And he was one excited, happy guy! We talked on the phone for an expensive 40 minutes, a splurge we’d never made before. By April 28, I was back in Champaign spending my spring break week with him, and we talked non-stop about engagement, marriage, and the timing of both.

We ate in the dorm dining room, and I watched him effectively lead his 72 men. I got acquainted with the head resident of his dorm; and his wife taught me how to paint with water colors while Nate was in class. Nate and I took long walks, holding hands and dreaming out loud about a blissful future together. He had a new bounce in his step, and I had a heart full of light and peace.

May 4, 1969 – Dearest Meg. I am tentatively thinking of Christmas for formal engagement, but we can keep it a secret until we make that decision. I need time to save for your ring! I love you very, very much. I will hug and kiss you till I die. You are so very precious that I’m afraid you’ll melt and run away! I love YOU!!!!

havin-funMay 5, 1969 – Dear Nate. I miss you so much and am sorry our week together has concluded. But I’m very happy I’ve finally realized that I truly do want to be your wife, Mrs. Nathan Nyman! It was wonderful being at your side all week, to be so close to you for so long. The time was ripe for us to be together like that, and I’m thankful to the Lord for allowing that week to happen when it did.

May 5, 1969 – Dearest Meg. I pray for us daily, and for the problem of physical self-control now, not getting carried away. I’m seeking divine guidance in our general relationship, that we have good attitudes toward each other and are not rushing events. We both have strong wills, and we can wait. What’s one year in light of eternity?

May 6, 1969 – Dear Nate. One of our biggest problems, now that we’re committed to marriage, will be to wait sexually. It would be so easy to get carried away. I’m glad we’ve made that decision. With both of us determined, and with God’s help, we’ll abstain. The pleasure will be all the sweeter with a wait – a valuable prize at the end. I love you for agreeing. Today the custodian at my school asked me about “my fiancé.” I sure do like the sound of that!

haircut

May 6, 1969 – Dearest Meg. Thank you for sharing your spring vacation with me. I love you more than ever. I’m keeping busy studying for finals and writing a paper for Corporations. I think of you all the time, in your apartment and at school with your kidlets. And I think of you in that fabulous new haircut. You look magnificent with short hair – easier to kiss that neck and those ears.

“Love never fails.” (1 Corinthians 13:8)

Young Love (#26)

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After the weekend of the Military Ball, a relationship shift had taken place. Nate was disappointed, and though I was the reason, I felt disappointment, too – especially about his wanting to date other girls. Even so, throughout the weekend there had been many moments when we didn’t discuss our relationship, and that’s when we ran around like kids, laughed, and relished every minute together.

allerton-parkOne afternoon was spent at Allerton, 30 miles outside of Champaign, hiking the beautiful landscape. Then, parked on a blanket in the woods, we studied, did my taxes, napped… and both said the words, “I love you.”

 

Back home… from my journal:

It seems irresponsible not to commit to Nate. I feel bad about the frustration I’m causing him but don’t see a way out of it for now. What he should probably do is just produce a ring with a “guess what” attitude, and we’d probably sail happily through life together.

One thing I’ve learned about myself during these months is that I’m good a snap decisions, but the long-range ones just kill me. I feel like Nate and I are only at the beginning of our relationship, while he thinks we’re well down the road. One thing is sure: I’ve just got to get (my old boyfriend) out of my head.

April 17, 1969 – Dear Nate. After talking with you at length about our relationship last weekend, I don’t know what to think. You are right to say you will date around, but I’m at a loss to say what should happen next. I do love you. And when I think of truly losing you, I get scared. But I don’t really “have” you, do I.

April 18, 1969 – Dearest Meg. Our spiritual time on Easter Sunday and the prayer times of last weekend are very meaningful to me. Since then my Bible reading time (at lunch) has been better understood by me. Jesus Christ is my first love and the first commitment of my life. But I also love you. And He will lead us.

April 19, 1969 – Dear Nate. I’m feeling rather blaa tonight… not depressed or in a bad mood, just sad that you and I aren’t together. I am missing you. I tried to call you tonight, but I guess I didn’t expect you to be home on a Friday evening. I know the Army is going to “hold you captive” for 18 hours starting tomorrow, so of course you went out. I guess I’ll just go to bed early and try to cheer myself by thinking back to the many good moments of last weekend. It sure was fun at Allerton Park. I love you.    Meg

restingApril 20, 1969 – Dearest Meg. I awoke this morning thinking of you and wishing you were still at my side. I’ve thought of a sweet little nickname for you: “Maj.” It’s your initials, M.A.J. What do you think? I still love you very, very much and am looking forward to sharing my schedule with you a week from now when you come down during your spring break. I want to be with you.

April 20, 1969 – Dear Nate. I’ve discovered that you mean more to me than I have admitted through all of this self-searching about marriage. In a way, you have a great deal of power over me and my emotions, more than you know. It’s a good kind of power. I need someone like you who will reassure me over and over of the love he feels for me, probably for the rest of my life. Is there another like you anywhere? I doubt it. I have so many things to talk to you about when I see you. It makes me happy to know that will be soon.

“Let your ‘yes’ be yes, and your ‘no’ be no.” (James 5:12)